The Noodle Mix-Up
We’d just returned from an early appointment, and the sun had left a strong effect on our bodies. The only thing we needed at that moment was iced water and then food to cool us down. But as soon as we stepped into the house, we were met with a wave of heat so intense that it almost pushed us back outside.
We left the door open, just a little wide enough to let in some fresh air from the corridor but not enough for anyone to peep inside.
"I think sitting outside for a while would be fine because I don't think I'm ready to be cooked by this extreme heat," I said, leaning against the door of the room opposite Rachael’s.
"I think we should sit in the backyard instead; there's more assurance of fresh air there. I can't go in right now, too" she suggested.
We closed the door, ready to go with her idea. Thankfully, we still had some leftover snacks we'd been munching on in the car on our way coming and two bottles of water. That was enough to hold us together while we figured out what to eat later.
The cool breeze washed over us as we sat outside, exactly what we needed at that moment. We talked for a while, enjoying the fresh air, before finally deciding to go back inside, hoping the heat had eased up a little.
"So, what are we eating for dinner?" I asked playfully, pretending to be busy on my phone. I wasn't ready to prepare anything, and from the look on her face, neither was she.
My body ached from all the standing earlier. The agent we were supposed to meet for the apartment inspection had directed us to someone else, causing unnecessary delays. By the time we got back home, I was beyond exhausted and annoyed.
As I lay on the bed, Rachael did the same. Neither of us was ready to get up. Before we knew it, sleep took over.
When we woke up, it was already 5 p.m. The hunger hit differently this time.
"I'm thinking we should go out to find something to eat. I can't sleep with an empty stomach tonight," I said, my voice drained of energy.
"Okay," she replied, scrolling through her phone and it didn't look as if she was ready to get up. I waited to see if she would say something after that but she didn't.
"Okay? Are you not eating tonight, or is that what will feed you?" I shot back, pointing at her phone.
She chuckled but didn't move.
I sighed. "Get up, please, let's go find something out there."
"Since you arrived here, you've been spending a lot. Let's just manage something in the house," she stared at me with a sympathetic look, as if she truly felt how much I had spent since I arrived.
I immediately replied, "Come on, it's not like I've complained to you or even asked for money to support me. Don't worry about it; I'm fine."
She hesitated at first, saying she'd just eat something from the house. But I wasn't eating whatever she had, and I needed her to come with me. After a little pleading, she finally gave in.
As we walked through the noisy and crowded street, my mind was to visit the restaurant just across the road, but we barely took the first turn when my eyes caught this small shop. There was a woman who ran a business cooking noodles for customers, and that instantly made me salivate.
"Look, let's go there. I want some noodles. Do you care, too?" I nudged her playfully, hoping she'd agree. "The smell alone is making me hungrier."
When we got there, I told her to prepare four packs of noodles and two eggs separately. But I wasn't paying attention as we were both talking about something fascinating we saw on my phone, that got us carried away.
By the time I turned back, my face was hit with disappointment.
She had mixed up everything together.
"What is this?" I asked, staring at the pot with wide eyes. "I thought you'd make it in different places and not together."
She turned to me calmly, stirring the noodles as if nothing had happened. "Ah, I mixed them both to save gas," she explained. "I'm sorry," she quickly added.
I exhaled, shaking my head. This was not what I wanted. But it was too late to change anything.
"Don't worry," she smiled, "I will share it equally into two takeaways."
"Better," I turned as I gave her a warm smile.
She quickly dished the noodles, ensuring each of us had an equal share. We paid and left, still slightly annoyed but too hungry to argue further.
The walk back home was quiet, except for the occasional sighs from Rachael and me.
By the time we settled in to eat, all was forgotten. The noodles tasted just fine. We ate to our fill and that ended what seemed like a long night to us.
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That kind of thing can be painful. Why did she mix up your noodles together? There is no way she wants to do it. One will surely be more than one😅😅
You are right. She can never make it equal, one would surely be more than the other which may or may not be obvious. Lol
The level of the heat this day is extremely high.
Thank God you were able to get something good to eat at that night
Those commercial noodle vendors do it that way. When you order more than one pack, they will merge all the noodles into the pot to cook. I wonder how they measure it equally though because last I checked, all fingers were not equal 😁
My first time witnessing such. I was just baffled how they'd share it equally and yes, the noodles were much that day and we ate to our satisfaction. Hahaha 😀
That's nice then
Am glad the noodles was tasty and you guys were not disappointed.
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STOPThe level of heat is too much most times my room feel like an oven even if it rains.
As in. Just too much.
Glad you ate to your fill amd you are okay
Our current weather condition is quite unbearable, we are just managing to cope.
I liked your story. I imagine it doesn't look or taste the same the noodles von eggs mixed together but in the end they were able to satiate the hunger.
Regards @princessbusayo
hi @princessbusayo Your story is flagging very high for AI influence. It reads like a story from your life, but we need to understand the reason for the high AI score so that we can help you to ensure that your work does not flag like this again. Are you using any AI editing tools and, if so, which ones and to what extent?
Do you have an original draft (pre-editing) that you can share with us? Thank you, The Ink Well team.
Good day, for my work, I used tools like Grammarly, Hemingway (free version) and also thesaurus for synonyms just to add more touch to my stories.
Also, I have the original draft and here is it:
We had just returned from an early appointment, and the sun was too much that we got tired immediately we got home. The only thing we needed at that moment was an iced water, then food afterwards. But as soon as we stepped inside, the heat that welcomed us was so much that we almost ran out.
We left the door a little bit opened to allow some fresh air, but not too wide so anyone would not peep in.
"I think we should sit outside for a while. I can't enter inside this heat now," I said, leaning against the door opposite Rachael’s.
"I think we should sit in the backyard instead; there's more assurance of fresh air there. I can't go in right now, too" she said.
We closed the door and went with her idea. Luckily, we still had some snacks and two bottles of water from the car when we were returning, which was enough to hold us while we figured out what to eat later.
The fresh air felt so good as we sat outside, exactly what we needed at that moment. We talked for a while before finally deciding to go back inside, hoping the heat had reduced.
"So, what’s for dinner?" I asked teasing her, scrolling through my phone. I wasn’t in the mood to cook, and from the look on Rachael’s face, she wasn't ready, too.
I was still feeling tired from the stress of the day. The agent we were supposed to meet had directed us to someone else, wasting our time and making us stand for too long. By the time we got home, I was too tired and annoyed to do anything.
I lay on the bed, and Rachael did the same. We didn't know when we both slept off.
When we woke up, it was already 5 p.m., and this time, we were very much hungry.
"I'm thinking we should go out and find something to eat. I can’t sleep on an empty stomach tonight," I said, with my voice low, a sign of tiredness.
"Okay," she replied, scrolling through her phone and it didn't look as if she was ready to get up. I waited to see if she would say something after that but she didn't.
"Okay? Are you not eating, or will your phone feed you?" I asked, pointing at her phone.
She chuckled but didn’t move.
With a calm voice, I said,"Get up, please, let's go find something out there."
"Since you arrived here, you've been spending a lot. Let's just manage something in the house," she stared at me with a pitiful look, as if she truly felt it.
I immediately replied, "Come on, it's not like I've complained to you or even asked for money to support me. Don't worry about it; I'm fine."
She hesitated at first, saying she'd just eat something from the house. But I wasn't eating whatever she had, and I needed her to come with me. After begging her, she finally gave in.
As we walked through the noisy street, I planned to eat at the restaurant across the road. But before we even took the first turn, I saw a small shop where a woman was making noodles for customers. The smell alone made me salivate.
"Let’s go there. I want noodles. Do you want some too?" I stared at her waiting to hear the right word from her. She said, "Yes"
When we got there, I told the woman to prepare four packs of noodles and two eggs separately. But I got distracted by something interesting on my phone while talking to Rachael.
By the time I turned back, I was disappointed.
She had mixed everything together.
"What is this?" I asked, staring at the pot. "I thought you’d make them separately."
She turned calmly, stirring the noodles. "Ah, I mixed them in order to save some gas," she said. "I’m sorry."
I exhaled, shaking my head. That was not what I wanted, but there was nothing to do again.
"Don’t worry," she smiled. "I’ll share it equally in two takeaways."
"Better," I said, managing a smile.
She dished the food, and we paid. The walk back home was a quiet one, except for the sighs from Rachael and me until we got home.
But once we started eating, all was forgotten. The noodles tasted just fine. We ate to our fill, and that was how our long day ended.
hi @princessbusayo, your original draft came up 100% likely human vs the edited version which was 98% likely AI. It is clear from a comparison of the two pieces of text that you have accepted quite a few suggested changes from the editing software which went beyond simple spelling, grammar, and punctuation and included rephrasing in line with AI suggestions. Many writers fall into this trap. As a reminder, the only editing software that is sanctioned by The Ink Well for use by the community is Grammarly or Google Docs, and then writers may only use basic functionality and nothing that results in writing being rephrased. We will not be able to curate your submissions if they flag that high for AI influence. Personally, I think the way you wrote most of it before the AI edits was ok... it could do with some refinement - but not through AI. It needs to reflect you :-) I would recommend that you just stick to Thesaurus and basic Grammarly/Google Docs checks, and that you read as much as you can from quality authors in the genres you like best. This is something every writer can and should do. It will give you true sustained organic growth as a writer. We look forward to seeing what you bring for the next prompt.
Noted, I understand and will take to corrections. Thank you very much.