SO GENTLE AND STUBBORN!!!🧐

Hi ladies in the community! It's been a while here and sincerely, I have missed participating but I just had to join in this since I got the tag from @zellypearl Thanks Babe for the mention.

_{To begin, I would also like to invite @jane1289 into this contest. Here is the link to participate.}

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What was your position (in terms of birth) in the family? How did that experience help you become, or hinder you from becoming, a successful adult?

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I'm proud to be the second born in a family of seven before, but now turned six because of the loss years ago but I never regretted ever being a second born. In fact, I enjoy the position especially when I decided to take the responsibility of being the eldest and that was because the firstborn who is a girl left our family to live with grandma at the age of 3 and ever since then, people thought I was the firstborn, watching over my three siblings.

Even when after many years, our big sis came to visit us, no one knew her as our sister but I still held on to the first position at her absence which I felt was a huge responsibility and a bit tasking for me.

Our parents expected me to do everything since I am the eldest and wouldn't allow my siblings to do anything because they believe I should have the strength than others and also lead by example.

Being the second born made me like a mother to my siblings and I would always be there to defend them anywhere but only the ones who chose to stay in their lane because no one can vouch for me as I was so weak and gentle. Though, very stubborn but I can insult anyone who dares cross my path.

Just as I read @zellypearl's post about the misconception about being a second child. Well for the part where she says they are "unbearably stubborn", of a truth I am. I can be so hard to please in some areas and my yes would always be yes without anyone changing my mind, and I can be too soft in other areas like if you come for a favour. I have been this way right from when I was young.

_{(My last younger sister is behind me while the one with glasses is my cousin)}

Being the second born and becoming the first by default, was really tasking and huge for me because there were many things I would forgo just to please my siblings. Mom would be like "you are immature, can't you just act as a big sis and give out your stuff?" I would stare at my mom and would be like "is it every time I release things to my siblings all in the name of showing seniority?"

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There were also some days when people would think my immediate younger sister is the senior because of her huge stature while I have a short one. She is a bit stubborn, reserved, and lousy and won't take no for an answer. She knows how to defend herself anywhere and many times, she would just start a fight with me asking me to fight back but being the soft and weak child, I would end up begging her not to beat me 😅

People have even said to my face if only she has come as the eldest so she can always defend me whenever there is a problem and she also has pleaded we should exchange positions as she wanted to be my senior since I am not swift in some areas. In short, I was unwise in some parts and it does hurt her to see me that way.

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While growing up, everyone was proud of who I was becoming and I learned to take responsibility for myself and my family. I also learnt many things from my big sis as she was focused and when she started working, responsibilities were huge on her which made me pity her.

Sincerely, there are some stages where the firstborn would be focused on so they can depend on them and wouldn't want them to live a wayward life. Even aside from that, I decided to help my sister by relieving her of some responsibilities because it is not easy and I know the task ahead of them (the firstborn) especially when you have a lot of younger ones.

I have always been happy coming as the second born and I have determined to also try my best to help my siblings so the work wouldn't be too much on our firstborn. Though I was someone they thought was weak then but I became strong seeing what is ahead of me.

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HOW DID THE EXPERIENCE HELP ME BECOME, OR HINDER ME FROM BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ADULT?

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My sister taught me what and how being a firstborn should be and what to expect when she wasn't around and the experience I had growing up and taking care of my siblings in my own way made me stronger and determined to continue taking care of them.

The role has helped me become independent as I didn't want to depend on my big sis again knowing we are four behind her and for her not to get tired easily, I learnt to take things as they come and be swiftly and quick in dealing with problems. I know what it is to become the first child and how great the responsibility is, I have learnt to make myself available for my younger ones and not to make them think otherwise of me.

_{(My immediate younger sister that likes to bully me then 😂)}

Today, through the experiences in the past and how I have come to wake up to help my siblings, my immediate younger sister is always proud and happy I came before her and also to know that she has got me whenever she needs help especially financially and I am happy I learnt things in a hard way from my parents while growing up and the absence of my sister made me who I am today.

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I have not gotten to my dream yet, but I am working towards it every day and I would want to continue being that elder sister to my siblings, one who they can run to anytime they need help.

Though I might be stubborn, it's for a good cause and many times a bit anti-social since I am learning to interact socially with people.

Thanks for reading
All images are mine