If you spare the rod, they become wayward.

My best scripture in the Bible is from Proverbs 22 vs 6 which says that “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. This has stood with me till today and it is what I have determined to use as a guide in bringing up my kids in the best way I can.

Discipline is very important for every parent who wants the best for their children. I was made to know that a child should be cautioned once he is able to know his left from right, from good to bad so that by the time he grows up, he will be used to such manners and lifestyle, and this would definitely bring peace to the parents. A child who is ignored and left to do what he wants will end up being the one to sell his parent's house while they are alive.

Growing up, my siblings and I have been privileged to experience corporal punishment from our parents because they believed in not sparing the rod on us as they realized that a child left to act on his own freewill will ends up being wayward and spoilt, and when he causes trouble outside, people will point fingers and ask, “does his parent not train him well?”, they will start sending the child home and before you know it, the name of the family is being dragged into the mud which would end up causing shame to the family.

Our parents understand the importance of a good name and so, they did their best to train and discipline us with the last drop on them even though they spared the rod on our last born which affected her. I will come back to that soon...

We had a taste of different corporal punishments like spanking, flogging, slapping, and throwing any available objects, especially our Nigerian mothers, they could throw whatever their eyes could see out of anger and provocation. My mom had thrown a frying pan at me before, not minding if it would spoil and then, I had to try not to provoke her even though I did not escape her beating. Those punishments only brought temporary pain to us which is still better than experiencing a permanent one if they hadn't taken their time in disciplining us.

Dad, on the other hand, though would discipline you too, but he had a way of calling us to ask if we knew why he beat us and when we nod our heads in a positive way, he would then warn and advise us not to repeat such again. We were trained in the best way which we grew up to remain in that style and it has helped us.

I have seen cases of children whose parents never mind what they were doing out of love and instead of calling them to order and making them realize their mistakes, they say such a child is still young and does not know anything yet and with this, they spoil the child, and because the child wasn't corrected, he assumes all he was doing is the right thing even though he knew it is bad but because he saw no one ever corrected him, he continues until he grows up and become a rebel which will then put the parents into a confusing state at their old age.

When a parent does not do what they need to do to bring a child on the right path, it will so much affect the child when he grows up because it will be too late to change him or her since he has been influenced both in the outside world where he is mixed up with other kids who end up adding more fuel to the already burning fire.

There was a boy who was only 14 years old where we were living before relocating, his mother never called to ask where he was getting money to buy big phones and clothes, not until he got into trouble and was put in prison. It was too late for him to be changed because as soon as he was released, he absconded and that was the last time I saw him until we packed from the area.

Just like my sister, Dad would never want us to caution or correct her when she does something bad and he kept saying, “Leave my child alone and don´t touch her”. She grew up to become lazy and behaved nonchalantly even at her present age of 19 years. She has become unbendable and we would call our dad's attention to the past and how he never allowed us to discipline and caution her till she was used to such treatment. The only thing helping us to curb and threaten her is that if she does not change, we won't support her schooling since she has just been admitted to the university.

Thank God she is gradually changing her habits, character and attitude, I hope she becomes the best girl we ever wished for her because as she is, we won't neglect her since she is still our baby sister. My dad only spared the rod on her then which made her who and what she is now.

In conclusion, with a personal experience here, sparing the rod on a child will only worsen the situation on such a child once he or she grows up to such an attitude that the parents refused to keep tabs on when there was still time. In my tribe, they will say, a child not trained will grow up to sell his parents' house while they are still alive. Would you want your child(ren) to do that? So, you do not have to spare the rod but use it minimally to discipline your kid, correct them when they do the wrong thing and inculcate in them good manners because charity they say, begins at home.

Thanks for your time on my blog.