You Never Really Heal

_{Photo by kilarov zaneit}

I've come to realize that music has a way of getting me in my feelings, especially sad slow songs and I never really got a problem with it before, until I lost my mom. And now everything just reminds me of her, even worship Christian songs,so I find myself trying to avoid listening to those.

You know back in the day, whenever something tragic like this happens to someone or maybe I see it in the movies, I always say to myself that they will get over it but the truth is that you never really get over it. Death is tragic and unfortunately it is something everyone of us will experience and some of us try to prepare for it, but we just can never really get prepared enough.

It's been three years now since I lost my mom and I still can't stay alone at night because most times I end up just thinking about her and crying my eyes out.

If I was someone who enjoys alcohol, there wouldn't be a night where I won't be drunk because that would be my only comfort, getting drunk enough to forget about how cruel life has dealt with me.

I actually promised myself that I wouldn't write about my mom out here again because I honestly hate it when I feel this way and when people take to the comment section to give me their condolences. I hate it, and that is why three years now that she's gone and not even up to five of my friends knows about it. But today happens to be one of those days where I'm in my feelings again and I just can't help it but pour it out somewhere, especially seeing how I find it hard to communicate these things to people face to face.

I guess having experienced losing a loved one first hand has taught me a lot of lessons I never wanted to learn and the most important one is to spend as much time as you can with people you love and also that you never really heal from losing a loved one. Unless you never really loved that person, you will keep on hurting whenever you see or hear something that reminds you of that person.

So if you know someone who has lost someone important to them, always be kind and supportive to them because they're probably fighting more demons than you know of.