Love or respect

I said goodbye to a close friends last night and here's why.

_{Photo by Eric Ward}

In the past, I've written about how I find it difficult to leave people I call my friends, to go to a place where I feel like by the time I'm back, those friends won't be where they were anymore, still waiting for me. I get too attached to people and sometimes, I like to think that this close friend of mine was/is also a part of the reason why I had decided to remain back in this state, aside from my other reasons.

But you see, recently that person started exhibiting characters that are not only annoying but also embarrassing to watch. I had read somewhere that in a relationship, women prefer being loved while men enjoy being respected and it's true. The article was basically saying that a man would prefer getting respected by his partner than getting loved, something I got to fully understand its meaning last night after getting disrespected more than once by this friend of mine.

Due to how close we used to be, I had tried overlooking the whole thing last night when it first happened and had even called her attention to it, explaining to her that behaving this certain way was wrong and disrespectful towards me, but instead of her to realize her mistake and apologise, she had looked me in the eyes and told me that she didn't feel any remorse and would do it again if she had to.

I remember how I felt that night, almost like someone sent a daggar flying through my chest. I got so angry that if I was someone who enjoyed hitting a lady, there were a lot of ways that night could have gone differently. Now I respect and value my relationships with my friends but when it starts getting this way, I burn bridges and move on. It is easier for me to forget about someone when I'm angry with them and don't feel guilty about not having to talk to them anymore.

If I was training myself on how to say goodbye to friends, she would be my first assignment, only in this case she's no longer a friend.

And seeing how she was part of the reason why I decided to stay back in this state all along, it's starting to get clear to me now and right now all I want to do is just leave this environment and go somewhere new, hopefully somewhere where I could take my mind off everything, somewhere I call home. Yes, I had decided to travel back home in about two weeks time, I've discussed everything with my brother and we both believe it's the right thing to do.

So I guess that irrespective to the fact that I'm angry at this person, I also have to tell them thank you, thank you for helping me decide.