Fear Doesn't Last Long

_{Photo by Melanie Wasser}

Humans in general (especially Africans) have to stop ruling with fear as their main factor of getting their disciples or people under them to obey them. I agree that it might work for a while, but there will come a time when that person would overcome that fear and no longer be afraid of you, that day would be the day of reckoning.

Sadly, we all are wired to think that fear works because it brings immediate results but not long lasting ones. A child coming to school would tuck in his school uniform properly because of fear of getting flogged for not doing so, but the moment he leaves the school premises, that same child would immediately untuck his uniform because there is nothing to be afraid of. But a child who understands the importance of having a tucked in shirt, not because he's scared, but because his teachers and parents took the time to explain to him why it's important to look good and responsible and how a tucked in shirt helps do that, even when he's away from school, his shirt would remain tucked in.

_{Photo by Priscilla Du Preez}

Why am I talking about this?

Well I have a friend who has never gone to church ever since I've known him. And today being Sunday, I had asked him why he doesn't go to church. This guy has sat me down and told me the story of how he basically grew up in the church but hated going there. Unfortunately for him, his parents were highly religious people and instead of giving him a good reason why he should always go to church and it's importance, they opted to use the famous and faster working method, fear.

They would force him and his siblings to always go to church and any day any one of them dared to say something about not wanting to go to church, they got the ass whooping of a lifetime. So they all were going to church before of fear of getting flogged if they didn't, and now that he's old enough and lives alone, he doesn't go anymore because there's no one to force him too.

Of course as an adult, we don't need someone to give us a reason why we should go to church (or maybe we do) and he obviously knows why he should, but the fact that he only did it out of fear in the past and the fear is no longer there, he would hardly want to go himself because he's used to being forced.

Now I know that there are certain situations where the best thing to do is to flog the child, but every now and then, we should try using our voice and help them see reasons why we want them to do what we want them to do. Because everyone of us were flogged by our parents in the past and yet not all of us still turned out great. What that means is that flogging or being hard on a child doesn't always bring the best results, sometimes it scars them like it did my friend and whenever they get free from that fear, they would never want to do that thing you spent years forcing them to do.