"INGRATIATION" ¿Are you perhaps being way too "nice" and "social" for your own good?
Ingratiation is always interpersonal:
It usually involves at least two and often three people. An act of ingratiation can mean one thing to the actor, another to the target of the action and certainly still another totally different thing to a neutral observer of the action.
The study of ingratiation must determine both. Whether a behavior is ingratiatory and how conscious both target and actor are of the act as ingratiatory. We have to know what the act is and we have to know what everyone involved thinks it is.
I Hate People...
Sycophant comes from Greek sykophantēs:
sykon “fig” and phainein “to show, make known”
One of the original meanings of sycophant was someone who offered insincere flattery. It is thought that this came from fruit sellers in street markets who were known for their fawning over potential buyers, flattering them so they might make a purchase.
Sycophancy was also associated with Athenian legal contexts to describe those people who brought frivolous, malicious and unjustified complaints, hoping either to obtain the payment for a successful case. Or to blackmail the defendant into paying a bribe to drop the case.
Sycophancy in the workplace has a slightly different meanings and is more rampant than you might think. And the choice between being sycophant and being straightforward depends on the kind of people you are dealing with at your workplace.
- You are not as good as you think you are.
- You are as good as you think you are but other people might be better.
- You are good technically but do not have the soft-skills required such as networking, relationship building, personnel management, etc.
- You are working for an organisation which does not recognise quality people.
Yep! these sycophants are usually a dealer, not a drug dealer, but more of a candy and snack dealer. They lure the surrounding lemmings over for "free" chocolate and candy. This gives them the sense that you owe them something. That they are the dispensers of bounty. That they are in charge. But of course they are doing this precisely because they have no authority and the only thing they are dispensing is an attempt to make you resemble their own self image: helpless, powerless, untrustworthy, unreliable and eventually treacherous douchebags and cosplayers.
It is a fact that throughout our lives basically spent going through our student's world, the laboral world and/or the corporate ladder. I have no doubt that we have already stumbled upon before and faced many of these undesirable specimens who are called sycophants in many of its different facets and many of its variants of synonyms and adjectives. It doesn't matter how you call them, they're all the same.
But nowadays in this virtual and digital world on the internet where you already feel free. Because you actually believe you are already your own boss and you are the only one bossing yourself to generate incomes and make a living out of these incomes. Just because you now consider it your new workplace to which you attend voluntarily every day. ¿Did you really think you were going to stop bumping into them?
Well, then think again! Because these disgusting beings proliferate and swarm everywhere like worms in your surroundings. There is almost no way to get rid of them. Because they are like an insatiable Marabunta that devours everything in its wake.
Uhm, unless, unless we go back to the times of the ancient Roman Empire under the Roman Emperor Caligula that can teach us an useful thing or two about Sycophants.
¡Breath Cayo César!
As an incident from the Roman Emperor Caligula’s notorious rule may reminds us:
During an illness early in Caligula’s reign, a commoner vowed to give his own life if the emperor recovered. The man made his vow publicly, hoping that through his fawning offer to show his deep loyalty and to elicit a generous award for his avowal.
Although Caligula indeed did recover, the lickspittle’s tactic backfired spectacularly.
Once back on his feet, Caligula chose to take the man at his word and ordered his execution immediately. Quite the lesson that words should mean what they say. And Oh yeah! ¡Death by sycophancy must be hard to top!
Yep, let's discuss!
Let's discuss this controversial subject!
¡Dare to discuss what needs to be discussed pal!
No matter if it feels like running nails down a chalkboard reading it!
Because all in all and at the end of the day, you should be at peace with yourself!
«««-$-»»»
"Follows, Comments, Rehives & Upvotes will be highly appreciated"
I could potentially see a common thread here with the “fake it…” post, although probably not in the same way you had - so no worries about cross-linking, unless you feel it appropriate and choose. (As always, my approval never needed should you want to reference any of my posts).
It feels like I’m gainer a greater appreciation for some of your perspectives as my youthful enthusiasm has been morphing into cynicism. Lol. Yet, it’s also been becoming increasingly clear I like “have/am” ADHD - as by god, I feel like a retard trying to get through many of your writings - while recognizing an odd stroke of genius in them and wishing I did have the focus to probe deeper into the interesting spectrums of perspectives accessed through them in ways that had come much easier when younger. Lol.
One takeaway from this, however: a reminder of my gratitude for the extreme hermit mode I’ve been in away from the conventional world full of its ‘sychophants’ and such (and how “psychologically-unemployable” I actually am, unable to fit a world of people embodying such dramas anymore). 😹
🤷♂️🍻
Thank you! It's well appreciated and indeed nice to know it. And especially coming from someone like you with a well oiled and sophisticated brain. :)
Yeah, cynicism is a not so bad trait only acquired through experience and age. And it is almost always the product of a life well lived with true attention. That's precisely what procure wisdom and a formidable dose of equanimity, synderesis and sense of humor to discern between good and evil. Hence; cynicism! Hahahaha
Hahaha yes, tell me more about the hermits. Those beings that I have known quite well for years and I have confirmed that they are the wisest and most reliable to have as the best company during my soliloquies. :D
And thanks again also for the trust you give me by granting me your permission to cross-linking your content with mine when I deems it appropriate. From now on, I will take the precaution of checking your blog first to see if you have published anything new before publishing my most brainy articles that intend to make people think.
Cheers!!
For many years I believed that being nice worked - bullshit, quite the opposite. However, it is worth keeping this trait, because sometimes being nice helps a lot.
And when it comes to socializing with society and other people ... Unfortunately, it is necessary. I hate people, they piss me off with morons (one of the main reasons I hate people haha) but unfortunately you have to cultivate relationships with them because we become assholes and shut ourselves up in our own bubbles. Not to mention, we're gradually detaching ourselves from reality.
Being nice! yeah, quite the challenge these days if you also want to maintain honesty, sincerity and authenticity alive and kicking at the same time. :D
Socialize yeah, but only to be able to establish comparisons of how screwed up the world is and determine the possible hopes to define the potential strategies to apply as to be able to recover it from its unfortunate state.
And in fact, I don't really hate anyone. Actually, very few people are sophisticated enough to deserve my hatred these days. The phrase was only in reference to the title of the Scrooge's video to elaborate my argument through this post. Although certainly, the sycophants and ass-kissers are the specimens always at just one step to gain my contempt and indifference but hardly my hate because they really are too insignificant.
Yeah, a malaise that is only temporary and transient and fortunately can be healed with the age. Once you have reached the hermit point as to not have to bump into them so often unnecessarily. Way better living into your own bubble than that of them. :)
Reality. Yeah, reality is just a fallacy. A mirage that only resides within each person's head. That's why even today scientists and neurologists are so confused when trying to define it. LoL
And thank you very much for your comment, it is really appreciated. I hope to see you more often over here. Consider yourself welcome!
Thanks, I'll try. ;) have a nice day! And night ^^.