Leaving behind the shadows of the past - Creative Nonfiction in The Ink Well: Prompt #4

Leaving behind the shadows of the past

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Source of pixabay

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Many years ago, when I was 19 years old, I encountered an obstacle that I thought I could not overcome, it all happened because of a family problem. At that age I used to be a little rebellious and that caused me to have such problems.

I remember going out drinking with my friends and disappearing from home for 1 to 3 days, without them knowing anything about me, missing work, the truth is that my life at that time was a disaster and I didn't even realize the damage I was causing myself.

Today, I reflect on that moment in my life and I am surprised to see how I got out of those situations that I thought at the time I could not overcome.

In those days of going out drinking with my friends, I said that my family did not want me to enjoy my youth, I said it because I could not see the damage, I started smoking cigarettes and not only that, there were other things that I did and today I am ashamed, there are times that I would like to go back to the past to not do all those things I did.

I remember that more than once I had problems with my father and I even thought of hitting him, at that time I became very aggressive and that was with everyone, I was lost, I started to hang out with people who were antisocial and when I think that, I can not understand how I was in that underworld if I come from a good family, but as they say here in Venezuela in every family there is a black sheep and I just happened to be the black sheep of my family.

Being the black sheep of the family is never good, because you will always be singled out and they will doubt everything you do, I also had depression because of all that, once I tried to end my life and a friend named Miguel prevented me from ending my life, he was the only one who cared about me and sat me in a chair, After that first talk we started to walk together and he was the one who was helping me to get out of my depression and it was really difficult to get out, it is easy to fall into depression but it is very difficult to get out, I say this from experience, for me it was the most difficult obstacle I had to go through.

For several years, the shadow of the person I was was following me, my family and some friends doubt my words, now some friends still believe that I am a liar, among other things. But the truth is that it is enough for me to know that I have changed and that the shadow of my past can no longer disturb me, now I am a stronger man with a different mentality than the one I had when I was 19 years old.

For a long time I was struggling to overcome depression, there was a moment when I thought I was going to fall and I did not relapse thanks to the help I sought from a professional, I am currently living my life in a different way and I have already overcome my obstacle 15 years ago, I do not think about taking a step back.

Currently every year I set goals to achieve and work to achieve them, I plan now everything I do and every step I take to move forward I analyze it in detail, so I do not make mistakes in the things I do or I do, but on the other hand I have neglected for example in the area of love, I have no partner now, I think it is because I have been thinking about other things and the truth is that I have not paid attention to love partner, if there have been certain friends that I have liked but I have not tried anything and I doubt a little that they feel something for me. Besides I have also neglected myself a little and I have changed my personality a lot, now I look different from 3 years ago.

I decided to take a notebook to write down everything I want to do for the rest of the year and for the years to come, I think that having a place to copy the goals and achievements I want to reach is a good idea, well that idea was told to me by my friend Miguel in those days when we were talking and you may wonder what happened to him and why we don't continue talking. Well it is because my friend passed away a few years ago, it was very painful for me to lose my best friend.

You know, I think it is excellent that the ink well, created this new nonfiction contest, for me it is a great idea, I thank you for supporting each of the people who write in the community of the ink well. Thanks to each of the moderators for their work and support for those of us who write and make life here. My sincere thanks and congratulations for the work you do.

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Note: The first image is from pixabay and was edited with Photoshop. The drawing that appears in this publication is of my own authorship and is elaborated with the Photoshop program.

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