Her Stressed Face Represents Resilience: LOH#101

Her dark circles represent sleepless nights. Her tan skin represents an enduring hard work under the heat of the Sun. Her callused hands and feet represent sacrifices. And her wrinkles represent battles won in life, but still, she is a beautiful woman.

I was in grade school back then when my father went to Manila, Philippines to look for a job. At an early age, every child would have thought that life is wonderful, and that it must have been all about playing games, enjoying, and having fun, yet my life is not all about that. For at a young age, my mind has already been opened about the hardest truth, and I was able to embrace the reality.

One time, I saw my mother crying. I tried to talked to her but she was at her weakest. I do not really knew why she was behaving like that until such time that my sister, @erikasue , saw an unsent letter on my mother’s bag and handed in to me.

During those days, we do not have a cellphone because we cannot afford to buy it, and the only mode of communication is through letters. Out of curiosity, my sister and I, read it and I felt so down while reading the letter that was intended for my father.

A part of the letter says:

”I hope you will be happy with your new woman.”

At a young age, I had trust issues because of what I had discovered and I was able to know why my mother was so depressed. I was still a little girl and was so innocent at that moment, but I learned about the dark sides of life.

My father lived and worked in Manila for 18 years with her mistress while we are living in the province. That was one of the heartbreaking days I had, of growing up with an almost broken family.

During those days, my mother became both my mother and my father when it comes to responsibility as a parent. Even if I did not grow up with a father by my side, it was still alright because she filled us with so much love.

What makes me so proud of my mother was being more than a martyr. But despite what had happened, my mother and father were not separated.

When my father said that he would send home his two daughters with another woman from Manila, my mother fully accepted and embraced them like her real daughters without any hesitation.

While my father was a away with her mistress for almost two decades, my mother was taking care of my two step sisters like her own children. My mother independently raised them as my father was away, but he was supporting us to go to school and provided us with our needs.

I could not imagine how strong my mother was after feeling betrayed and unloved. I am just so proud of my mother because no matter how many times she has been cheated by my father, she never put a grudge on her heart as she forgives and loves my father unconditionally every single day.

Even experiencing all the emotional struggles and hardships, she still faced and fought for life fearlessly while believing that there will be a beautiful rainbow after the rain.

She never gave up on us and she did not give up for life. I am feeling blessed to have a mother like her. She always deserves all the best for she is the best mother ever and she has been my inspiration.

At the age of 22, when was still studying in a University as a scholar, she got pregnant, leading her to a worst future. Her dreams died at that moment, but she did not give up.

She was so strong with her undying support to me right from the start when I was still on her womb, without thoughts of abortion, until the day I was born, and even up to the present.

Being a mother at an early age may not be very easy, yet she did a lot of sacrifices just to raise us well, even living a very difficult life back then, including acting both as a mother and a father for us that makes me even more proud of her.

During the past, she may have none of luxurious things like elegant clothings, perfect shoes, and glamorous jewelries, but I have not heard any words of complain from her. For all she ever wanted was to provide us with all our needs and make us live a comfortable life despite our situation.

She often says:

”I do not want you to feel the hardest life that I have been through during my time. Despite poverty, I wanted you to experience things that I have not tried, and all I want is for you to finish your studies because it is the only legacy that I could leave to you, my child.”

After all, I am so proud of my mother because despite what had happened, she did not give up. She remained strong and courageous. She lived her life with us although she was really so broken so she could be whole again.

Who would not be touched by a resilient woman like my beloved mother?

This is my beloved mother as I took a shot on her secretly, and beside her is my father, who was a bit cropped on the image.

She used to have white hairs but I colored her hair with a black colorant. Her white hairs represent sorrow and despair but she came back to life with full of resilience because of her deep love for us.

At present, we are now living together. My father separated with her mistress three years ago, and returned back home in our place with her two daughters from another woman, but my mother really loved them like her own children. She has forgiven my father without grudges in her heart and we are now living peacefully.

Perhaps her stressed face represents strength and courage to withstand all the problems in life without fear. She will always be my inspiration to bounce back for life with humility and resilience. And now, she is still standing through His grace fearfully.

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This is my entry for LOH #101 and I am inviting @bluepark to participate in this contest. Thank you for reading.

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Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own, unless otherwise stated.