Hello friends, I'm here again and you don't know how hard it is to get active and post, but as I always say, the worst attempt is the one that is not made. I have already seen a lot of movement in our beloved Holos Lotus Community, dressed beautifully with beautiful posts from friends who love wellness and personal growth and have joined the festivity through their writings for the second happy anniversary of @holos-lotus. As you can see, it is the turn of my column Look at the Children and from here I also join the party dedicating a topic of great importance for parents and adults in general for the welfare and healthy development of the little ones in our environment, who need our words full of wisdom so that these are of benefit and not harmful, so let's put the magnifying glass on this issue because many times we tend to issue to children what would be a double-edged language.

Responsibility without compromise

This is a point where more than one is going to be surprised and is that parents, with all good intentions, we tend to talk to children using inclusive language, especially when we want the child to do something. Specifically, I am referring to speaking using the first person plural "we". This is a custom we have adopted to stimulate the child to obey when he/she is very small, but it is a double-edged language. Why? Well, because this is a way of sharing responsibilities and believe me, with small children it is best to do it as little as possible to avoid that in the end it is the parents who take on more responsibilities than they should.

Of course it sounds a little strange what I say, but I am a mother of two children and from an early age we must be careful not to fall into mistakes crouched in actions disguised as supposed love that can be harmful to children when what we want is that they become responsible and independent adults. That is why when the child is getting older and we insist on continuing to talk to him in that way every time we have to send him to do something, for example, "let's pick up and put away the toys", instead of teaching the child to be responsible for tidying up his play implements after using them, we are sending him the message that the responsibility is not his, but that it belongs to both of us and then the child thinks that if he does not pick up the toys you will do it.

The best thing to do is to tell the child directly, "you have to pick up and put away the toys" because then the responsibility falls directly on the child. So dear father, mother, teacher and adult in general who reads me, do not unnecessarily share responsibilities with the child. Notice that I say unnecessarily, so do not confuse gymnastics with magnesia 🙃

Comments about the child in your presence

Another thing, as parents we find it hard to avoid making comments in front of the child, whether positive or negative. It just seems that it is so hard to remember that we were children too and we have forgotten how we felt when we heard our parents talking about us to other people. Now that we are adults and parents let us remember that children are powerful sponges and we must recognize that unfortunately, many times conversations and comments about the child arise and are held in front of the child, as if the little one was not present or was invisible and deaf, because we think that children are incapable of understanding the subject that adults are dealing with.

What I can recommend is that when you are with other people and also with the child, do not ignore the presence of the child in case a comment about him comes up, because the best thing to do is to involve him directly so that the child participates in the conversation and thus does not feel that he is being talked about behind his back. Let's make our words a caress for psychoemotional formation.

To conclude I say to you as an adult that I am, as a mother and especially as a child that I was, please avoid falling into these situations where a very inclusive language can be as harmful as the exclusive one, being double-edged both for us as a parent and for the children themselves. Let's make our words a caress and not a weapon in the psychoemotional and psychosocial formation of children.

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If you find it difficult...

Look at yourself in every child.

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Let's grow up together watching the children 👦👧

Remember your childhood... 📌

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My thanks

I take this opportunity to thank those who have been inspired by the last theme of the last edition of "Look at the Kids", entitled: Say it and do it. I also emphasize that although I cannot always leave comments, I saw your publications, I valued them, I reblogged them and I loved them for showing your interest in the subject of childhood, a very important and determining stage for the others in the development of the human being.

So, thank you for your contribution to:

@sidalim88, @lecumberre and @lilianajimenez

Keep inspiring others. 🙏

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Interactive column

Look at the kids!

Whith @parauri

This space is thanks to @holos-lotus and @lotus-es:

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Photos and all own images using Corel and Illustrator.

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