The Kids I Would Never Raise - Hive Naija #37

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I believe the ultimate desire for every parent is to see the good in their children. They strive all they can to create a supportive, nurturing, and respectful environment as much as they can to help foster emotional, cognitive, and social development, and in trying to achieve this, some parents missed it along the way. Though their intentions were good and genuine, their approach was wrong and harmful.

Even before I became a parent, there were things I had told myself I would never do or say when raising my kids.

One of them is that I would never live my life through my child. I have seen a lot of parents trying to achieve what they could not achieve in their lives through their children's lives, rather than recognizing their own unique personalities, interests, and needs, which can hinder their autonomy and self-discovery, mostly when it comes to choosing career paths. There are a lot of parents trying to force their kids to be what they cannot become. At the moment, there is this 17-year-old in my church who was complaining to me that she wants to study mass communication at the university, but her parents are saying and insisting that she must be a medical doctor. That is very wrong. Parents are there to guide their kids, not to enforce what they do not want on them. I had always wanted to be a gynecologist, but after writing jamb four times and passing post-UTME but not getting my choice course, I ended up studying biology, but I will never force any of my children to become gynecologists. Whatever career paths any of my children choose today, I will guide them through and give them my blessings.

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I will never bring up children without financial discipline and intelligence. I have seen many children void of basic financial intelligence and discipline. Kids these days have no idea about money, how to earn money, how to keep money, how to spend money, how to invest money, or what to do with money to ensure that it returns after it leaves you. Financial intelligence is not a topic parents take seriously or give the desired attention to in the formative process of their children's lives; they focus more on their children's clothes, hairdos, hangouts, etc. but neglect important aspects like money, dismissing it with the back of their hands on the premise that the child is too young to know anything about money. Only for that child to grow up into an adult and is now faced with money problems, a problem that could have been solved if the right financial intellectual foundation was laid earlier.

Parents, please do not neglect teaching your children about money. Do not undermine the all-round growth of your child. Do not limit the mental formation and development of your child to certain areas. It is disastrous for them, those around them, and the world as a whole.

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I would never compare my child to other kids or criticize their abilities; this can make a child have low self-esteem and lose confidence in himself or herself. I would also not cage my children; I would not hover over every decision they make or override it, except when necessary. I would allow them to have some independence, which would allow them to develop problem-solving skills. You would not want to raise a child who is not mentally, psychologically, intellectually, or physically balanced; it is not a good place to be.

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