Beyond The Mirror: Revealing My Hidden Character

Hello, beautiful people! Welcome to my blog. It's a pleasure to have you in this space. Once again, welcome 🤗

While it is good for us to sometimes reflect on our lives and how well we are doing, there are still some of our behaviors and personalities, which I would call blind spots, that we can't see clearly and would need the feedback of those around us that would be able to provide honest and valuable insights to help us grow and understand ourselves better. Sometimes these insights come as bitter truths, but if we must become better, we have to learn how to swallow them with a grateful heart and words of appreciation. This is painfully so because it takes true and pure love for someone to be honest with you in areas where you think you are doing well, but in reality, you are acting wrongly.

I found out from a friend and cousin of mine that I have a commanding tone, mostly when I am advising or asking them to do something. I was told on several occasions that whenever I get to talk to them, it usually feels like it is their mom that is talking to them.

My cousin sometimes jokingly says I sound like her mom whenever she's angry, and this makes her shiver when I talk to her.

But I never took it seriously until when I went for my NYSC (National Youth Service Corps). I got talking to someone, and he said I have an authoritative tone whenever I talk. I was shocked and did not understand what he meant, so I asked him to explain more.

He explained further that when I am talking to people, mostly when I am angry or in a serious mode, the tone of my voice usually sounds commanding and controlling, and I should work on it.

I still did not take it seriously until this faithful day in the NCCF (Nigeria Christian Corpers Fellowship) family house, when I was addressing some corp members on how they behave during morning devotion.

After that, some corp members approached me and spoke to me about the tone of my voice again and how some of them felt disrespected and insulted.

I had to apologize to them, making them realize that it was never my intention to disrespect or insult anyone; I just felt that sounding stern would make them sense the seriousness in the message I was trying to communicate, and it would in turn invoke compliance on their part.

When we were done talking and they left, I retired into my room and decided to do a self-check. I asked a few people that I was close to if they also had observed the same attitude in me.

After getting a heartbreaking yes from a few people, the feedback revealed a communication pattern I was not aware of—that my communication with people was misunderstood as controlling. I had to start learning how to speak to people in a calm manner and with a calm and more relaxed tone.

In the past few years, this has taught me that we really need other people to hold the mirror for us to see ourselves more clearly as we journey through life towards growth and development. Truly, we cannot be the best judge of ourselves. That is why we need honest people in our circle who can draw our attention to areas we are not measuring up and in need of a quick fix. It is called positive criticism for a reason; it is supposed to criticize you in a positive way that brings out the best in you and makes you a better person than you were.

Many atimes, we need the honest assessment of others to find our true north and recalibrate our steps in line with our goals and ultimate purpose.

A wise king once said, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend."

images gotten from meta Al

THANK YOU FOR READING TO THE END 🤗

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