Fiction: United by the mountain. History of courage and overcoming in the Bolivar Peak. Original Content. EN/ESP.
Mariana, was part of the university's mountaineering team. She was very happy because she had made an excursion to one of the snowy peaks of her country, and for her, as for many mountaineers, the snowy peaks were really a challenge, more for Latin American hikers who were not used to low temperatures.
Now, after that experience, Mariana had the idea of continuing training to go in the future, when she finished her university degree, to climb Mount Everest in the Himalayas.
But before going to Asia, she knew that she had to finish her degree and that she also had to prepare much better, physically and mentally. That's why she was in the Mountaineering Club at the university and, in addition to that, she had taken first aid courses and in fact had graduated to the technical level of paramedic.
Now, Mariana worked as a paramedic at the University Hospital, and now she paid herself what she needed for her studies, and helped her parents with household expenses. Anyway, Mariana, is a 22-year-old girl, very active, very disciplined and very mentally and spiritually focused.
—Hello, Mariana, how are you? — Asked Marcos, the president of the university's Mountaineering Club.
—Very well Marcos, happy, the university holidays are coming, and they join the holidays from work that I have in the hospital, so I will be able to rest and do several things.—Mariana replied.
—You know, I wanted to ask you if you could lead an excursion with the guys from the new club team. They have already had several outings with us and are well-trained, but they have been preparatory outings.
Now, it's their turn to graduate, and we want to do it with something very demanding, since it's really a very good group, and I want to give them the best training.
Me, I was thinking of taking a graduation trip to Bolivar Peak to graduate them. But I won't be able to take them, as they are going to operate on my old man, and I have to stay at home supporting my mum and sister.
I know, it's a very demanding trip, but I think you are already prepared for that adventure. You dare to take them. — commented Marcos.
"Yes, I would like to, but I hardly know that group—" Mariana replied.
—I know, but we can make a short trip to Avila, to the Naiguatá peak. We do it before they operate on my old man. And so, we spend some time with the guys, so they get to know each other and share. In addition, they have a lot of respect for you, since they know your adventures in Amazonas and in the Bolivar State. Are you up for it? —said Marcos.
—Sure, let's do it — said Mariana contentedly.
And so, on the first weekend of the holidays, the group of rookies of the club, joined Mariana and Marcos and began their journey to the Naiguatá Peak. Mariana was placed last in the ascent, she watched the boys, saw how they acted, how they reacted to fatigue, how they acted when there were jokes in the group.
She was studying, who were the m.as strong, who were the ones who motivated and were aware of the others in the group, in order to know who were the natural leaders and at the same time, see who were the weakest in the group.
Mariana was delighted with the group, it was solid, united, its members were cohesive and took care of each other. It was obvious that Marcos had done a great job in the formation of the group.
In the evening, when they camped, everyone was joking and sharing, and the nine boys and girls of the team, were doing community activities. They prepared the food, made the campfire and prepared in camp, in an area, where the strong breeze from the peak, did not impact it directly.
Afterwards, everyone sat down to share, played chess, drank coffee and tea, and also ate olives, while a colleague named Ricardo delighted them with the music of his flute. And in the middle of that sharing, the last graduation trip was announced, which would be made to the Bolivar Peak in Merida, and would be led by Mariana, as the representative of the club.
Everyone agreed with the trip. Mariana announced to them that they would be leaving in two weeks for Merida and showed them the itinerary. In addition, he told his companions, that on the last day, they would leave the things of the trip at a campsite, climb the peak, take photos, stay for a while and go back down to the campsite.
He told them that they would do it this way because of the height, since they would be 4,938 meters, above sea level. He also said that they would carry oxygen, in case any of the companions were very affected by altitude sickness. And he recommended to the group to do meditation and breathing exercises. Finally, everyone went down to Caracas, after spending the weekend in the mountains.
In the two weeks that were left before the trip, the members of the group dedicated themselves to training and preparing for the trip.
When the group arrived at the base of Bolivar Peak, they saw the enormous difference, of climbing and mountaineering on a mountain with a temperate climate, and on one with low temperatures. Many of them were affected by the cold, but they all stood together and stood firm. And when someone looked very tired or discouraged, the group supported him.
Mariana, I was happy with the group, but now the most difficult part would come, it was time to climb to the top. As they had defined in their plans, they made a camp, and in the morning they began to climb towards the summit of Pico Bolivar.
When they were halfway there, the weather changed and the wind started to lift the snow. To the boys it seemed like a movie what they were living. Mariana, in the middle of the cold wind, stopped, and called all the members of the group.
—The climate is changing. It's going to get stronger for a few hours. Do you still want to go up? — Asked Mariana.
The whole team said yes. Mariana tied them one by one and herself to a safety rope, and they began to climb, some tied to others. However, the colder it got, and as the icy breeze hit them, it became more and more difficult for them to move forward. Each step required a terrible effort, which was terribly exhausting.
Mariana saw her group, approached them, encouraged them, and everyone wanted to continue. However, there came a time when she, herself, was overcome by exhaustion. And just at that moment, the breeze calmed down a little, and she saw the top. His heart was filled with joy and strength.
Mariana looked back, saw her group of classmates, and screamed with tremendous force. —Comrades, we are 200 meters from the top, let's move forward together and with strength and take this castle together.—
Her companions were excited to hear Mariana, and they advanced, and advanced without stopping. When they reached the summit, everyone was panting and looking for air. You could tell by the enormous effort they had put in. Mariana grabbed the hands of two of her companions, and finally they all did the same.
And being with her hands joined, Mariana told her group: "Let's move forward together towards the bust of the Liberator, and thus we will show that we took this castle together."
After spending some time at the top of Pico Bolivar. Everyone started the descent. Now, every time a new group arrives at the Mountaineering Club, everyone knows the story of the storming of the castle, led by Mariana and her group.
Thank you for reading me.
Click Para Leer en Español
Unidos por la Montaña. Historia de coraje y superación en el Pico Bolívar
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Mariana, era parte del equipo de montañismo de la universidad. Ella estaba muy contenta debido a que había hecho una excursión a uno de los picos nevados de su país, y para ella, al igual que para muchos montañistas, los picos nevados, eran realmente un reto, más para excursionistas latinoamericanos que no estaban acostumbrados a las bajas temperaturas.
Ahora, después de esa experiencia, Mariana, tenía la idea de seguir entrenando para ir en un futuro, cuando terminase su carrera universitaria, a escalar el monte Everest en el Himalaya.
Pero antes de ir al Asía, ella sabía que debía terminar su carrera y que además debía prepararse mucho mejor, física y mentalmente. Por eso, en la universidad estaba en Club de Montañismo y, además de eso, había tomado cursos de primeros auxilios y de hecho se había graduado a nivel técnico de paramédica.
Ahora, Mariana trabajaba de paramédico en el Hospital Universitario, y ahora se pagaba lo que necesitaba para sus estudios, y ayudaba a sus padres con los gastos de la casa. En fin, Mariana, es una muchacha de 22 años, muy activa, muy disciplinada y muy centrada mental y espiritualmente.
—¿Hola, Mariana, cómo estás? — Preguntó Marcos, el presidente del Club de Montañismo de la universidad.
—Muy bien Marcos, contenta, ya vienen las vacaciones de la universidad, y las mismas se unen a las vacaciones del trabajo que tengo en el hospital, así que podré descansar y hacer varias cosas. — Contestó Mariana.
—Sabes, quería preguntarte, si podías liderar una excursión con los chicos del equipo nuevo del club. Ya ellos han tenido varias salidas con nosotros y están bien formados, pero han sido salidas preparatorias.
Ahora, les toca graduarse, y queremos hacerlo con algo bien exigente, ya que de verdad es un grupo muy bueno, y quiero darles la mejor formación.
Yo, estaba pensando en hacerles un viaje de graduación, al Pico Bolívar para graduarlos. Pero no podré llevarlos, ya que van a operar a mi viejo, y debo quedarme en casa apoyando a mi mamá y mi hermana.
Sé, que es un viaje muy exigente, pero creo que ya están preparados para esa aventura. Te animas a llevarlos. — comentó Marcos.
—Sí, me gustaría, pero apenas conozco ese grupo — Contestó Mariana.
—Lo sé, pero podemos hacer un viaje corto al Ávila, al pico Naiguatá. Lo hacemos antes de que operen a mi viejo. Y así, pasamos un tiempo con los muchachos, así se conocen y comparten. Además, ellos, te tienen mucho respeto, ya que conocen tus, aventuras en Amazonas y en el Estado Bolívar. ¿Te animas? — dijo Marcos.
—Claro, vamos a hacerlo — dijo Mariana contenta.
Y así, el primer fin de semana de las vacaciones, el grupo de novatos del club, se unió a Mariana y Marcos y comenzaron su viaje hacia el Pico Naiguatá. Mariana se colocó de última en el ascenso, ella observaba a los muchachos, veía cómo actuaban, cómo reaccionaban al cansancio, cómo actuaban cuando había bromas en el grupo.
Ella, estudiaba, quienes eran los más fuertes, quienes eran los que motivaban y estaban pendiente de los demás del grupo, para así saber quienes eran los líderes naturales y a la vez, ver quienes eran los más débiles del grupo.
Mariana quedó encantada con el grupo, era sólido, unido, sus integrantes estaban cohesionados y se cuidaban mutuamente. Se notaba, que Marcos, había realizado un gran trabajo en la formación del grupo.
En la noche, cuando acamparon, todos estaban bromeando y compartiendo, y los nueve muchachos y muchachas del equipo, estaban haciendo actividades comunitarias. Prepararon la comida, hicieron la fogata y prepararon en campamento, en un área, donde la fuerte brisa del pico, no lo impactaba de manera directa.
Después, todos se sentaron a compartir, jugaron ajedrez, tomaron café y té, y además comieron aceitunas, mientras un compañero llamado Ricardo, los deleitaba con la música de su flauta. Y en medio de ese compartir, se les anunció el último viaje de graduación, el cual se haría al Pico Bolívar de Mérida, y estaría liderado por Mariana, como la representante del club.
Todos estuvieron de acuerdo con el viaje. Mariana les anunció, que saldrían en dos semanas para Mérida y les mostró el itinerario. Además, le dijo a sus compañeros, que el último día, dejarían las cosas del viaje en un campamento, subirían al Pico, tomarían fotos, estarían un rato y bajarían de nuevo al campamento.
Les dijo que lo harían de esta manera debido a la altura, ya que estarían a 4.938 metros, sobre el nivel del mar. También dijo que llevarían oxígeno, por si alguno de los compañeros era muy afectado por el mal de altura. Y le recomendó al grupo hacer meditación y ejercicios de respiración. Finalmente, todos bajaron a Caracas, después de pasar el fin de semana en la montaña.
En las dos semanas que faltaban para el viaje, los miembros del grupo, se dedicaron a entrenar y preparase, para el viaje.
Cuando el grupo llegó a la base del Pico Bolívar, vieron la enorme diferencia, de escalar y de hacer montañísmo en una montaña con clima templado, y en una con bajas temperaturas. Muchos de ellos estaban afectados por el frío, pero todos se mantuvieron unidos y firmes. Y cuando alguien se veía muy cansado o desanimado, el grupo lo apoyaba.
Mariana, estaba contenta con el grupo, pero ahora vendría la parte más difícil, era el momento de subir a la cima. Como lo habían definido en sus planes, hicieron un campamento, y en la mañana comenzaron a subir hacia la cumbre del Pico Bolívar.
Cuando iban a mitad de camino, el clima cambió y el viento comenzó a levantar la nieve. A los muchachos les parecía una película lo que estaban viviendo. Mariana, en medio del viento frío, se detuvo, y llamo a todos los miembros del grupo.
—El clima está cambiando. Se va a poner más fuerte por unas horas. ¿Todavía quieren subir? — Preguntó Mariana.
Todo el equipo dijo que sí. Mariana los amarró uno por unos y a ella misma, a una cuerda de seguridad y comenzaron a subir, unos amarrados a otros. Sin embargo, mientras más frío hacía, y mientras la brisa helada los golpeaba, se les hacía cada vez más difícil avanzar. Cada paso, requería un esfuerzo terrible, lo que era terriblemente agotador.
Mariana veía a su grupo, se les acercaba, los alentaba, y todos querían continuar. Sin embargo, llegó un momento en el que ella misma, estaba vencida por el agotamiento. Y justo en ese momento, se calmó un poco la brisa, y ella vio la cima. Su corazón se llenó de alegría y fuerza.
Mariana miró hacia atrás, vio a su grupo de compañeros, y gritó con una fuerza tremenda. —Compañeros, estamos a 200 metros de la cima, avancemos juntos y con fortaleza y tomemos unidos este castillo.—
Sus compañeros se emocionaron al escuchar a Mariana, y avanzaron, y avanzaron sin parar. Cuando llegaron a la cumbre, todos estaban jadeando y buscando aíre. Se les notaba el enorme esfuerzo que habían realizado. Mariana agarró las manos de dos de sus compañeros, y finalmente todos hicieron lo mismo.
Y estando con las manos unidas, Mariana le dijo a su grupo: "Avancemos juntos hacia el busto del Libertador y así demostraremos que tomamos juntos este castillo".
Después de estar un rato en la cima del pico Bolívar. Todos comenzaron el descenso. Ahora, cada vez que llega un grupo nuevo al Club de Montañismo, todos conocen la historia de la toma del castillo, conducida por Mariana y su grupo.
Gracias por leerme.
https://x.com/ronaldjmarrero/status/1843418870435938629
hello @osomar357, thank you for writing in The Ink Well. I would encourage you to do some reading on Adding Conflict and Show, Don't Tell. Conflict needs to be central to a story and firmly established in a piece so that we understand what is on the line. We also need to understand why the objective in the story means so much to the main character. In your story the weather turned bad and suddenly cleared up. There was insufficient real estate in the story devoted to the adversity that this created for the climbers, the setbacks it created and how they overcame. It just resolved itself. Show, Don't Tell is a tool that would allow us to experience the emotions of the climbers through the senses, as they scale the peak. It will make your story more engaging and allow us to connect with your characters more.
Hi @inkthewell, happy day.
Thanks for the comment and advice.
I will take it into account, for the next texts.
That was an adventurous journey. They were motivated by their determination to reach the peak and they did. I heard that descending a mountain is as difficult as climbing it, perhaps more difficult.
Hi @lightpen, happy day, glad you liked the text.
Regarding the descent of a mountain, yes it is very strong, as this accumulated fatigue and if it is a trip to altitude, usually the fatigue is terrible by pulmonary demand, that is, the fatigue and physical demand used in the climb, hits a lot when you go down.
Best wishes and thanks for the comment.