December 27, 2004 Unforgettable Moment /2005 New Year

One of most painful year and month of December was the same date yesterday.

Almost 2 decade ago, 1 was in my deep sleeping moment at 1am, my phone had a message tone I heard. It was unusual someone texting at dawn. So, I opened it knowing the suddened death of my husband. My sister was the one informing me.

He was my husband who died last December 27, 2004. He was soccumed by cardiac arrest as what the doctor said. His birthday was December 20, 1970.

Story Before His Death

He was working in a farm somewhere in Davao. His boss was our boss before. My son, was then 14 years old living with him that time. I was already working here in Saudi when my son was 7 years old.I sent them money for his birthday but they never celebrated it. They had a party prepared by his employer together with all the employees in the farm, a poultry farm, chicken breeding and egg layer chickens. My husband was an electrician and one of the grower given by his boss. There could be an additional benefits from his work that time and invited me to go home but I refused. We were no longer in a good term because of some indifference while I was away from him.

My son told me that his father was experiencing headache and all the time, he took ponstan pain reliever. During the party , December 26 night, he grabbed the microphone and everyone was surprised since before, he didn't like to sing a song. But that night was different, he sang Bohemian Raphsody and told the people around that it would be his last song to sing. They never mind and took the message seriously and they went home to their barracks.

My son and my husband slept together and his papa woke him up to find his Ponstan tablet. He took it but the pain continously attacked him. They decided to brought him to the city using the truck/forward they used for delivery of eggs. My son sat down hugging his father while his head leaning to my son's shoulder. My son relate the story that he felt the tender tightly hugs of his father while the car was moving to the city from the mountain. They passed by rivers, bridges, cliff and mountain before reaching the city.

When they were almost near to a private hospital, San Pedro Doctors Hospital,my son felt that his father was no longer hugging him. His hands fell down and looked like, he was already dead. But my son, hugged him back. He just uttered a prayer saying that that "Lord, ayaw paantusa si Papa naku, malooy ka." "Maawa ka Lord, hwag mo po pahirapan papa ko po."

They arrived in emergency room to revived his papa but they announced, DEAD ON ARRIVAL. He was already dead upon their arrival.

My son informed my sister who is taking care of my son from birth until now. Then, they informed me in the midst of my sleep. I broke into tears. There were regrets but had nothing to do. I was not the one who wanted to go abroad. It was him who forced me.

A day Before His Death

The time he was struggling for life and death, I was cleaning the staircase here. It was 5pm here in Saudi Arabia. While cleaning every step of the stair, there was a blavk/brown butterfly got near headed to my hand. I removed it he refused to go away. When I reached on the top part, the butterfly was still there until I finished. Too late to realized that it was his soul visiting me. Saudi Arabia is a miles away from home but he visited me before his death. Later on, I found the dead butterfly at the same time he was already dead at dawn. Tge time they informed me was already 7 in the morning, Philippines time.

We had no picture together before. I was looking for our wedding picture but I didn't find anymore.

My husband had a fair complexion, tall, handsome and a masculine type of man.A lot of women who admired him. He is not handsome in this picture as in not a photogenic. But in personal appearance, his eyes was smiling at you. We were not a lover though we got married when he was 17 and I was 18. There was a hidden agenda that time that to respect him, I will just kept it in my heart. There are so many stories to tell about what was going on.

I went home during his wake. It was a 2005 New Years Day that I celebrated inside the Emirates Aircraft from Saudi Arabia with connecting flight via Dubai to Manila, Manila to Davao.

They already arranged his burial and I didn't know that our picture was not successful during his last day on earth. The last spiritual service in the cemetery was not developed. The photographer told us that all the film was burned.

I stayed three months in the Philippines fixing all papers and everything. I returned here in Saudi leaving my son under the care of my sister.

That was my 2004 Christmas and 2005 New years celebrations. Itbwas the first time I celebrated New Years day on the top of the world, inside the aircraft.

2023 New Year To be

I don't know how to tell about it. My life had have a lot of drama happens every now and then. Happy moment is not a normal life for me. Sadness in my heart are normal and that is the reason why I like the word "The Survivor".

Anyway, I want to spend my New Year 2023 more on positivity and I give it to the Lord, who will guide me, who planned my destiny. Without Him, I am nothing. Hopeful for a better life than before. I owe to God because I am already tired. I am getting older. I want to be happy before I turn the last chapter of my life on earth to heaven. I still believe the magic of whatever way of living my life in the coming year and years to come.