Love At First Sight? Is That A Thing?
I have heard stories about love at first sight but it's not convincing enough because I find it difficult to understand how you fall in love with someone within a minute. People misinterpret different feelings for love and that's why many relationships are having challenges since they get into it without properly defining what they feel for each other. Have you heard of the theories that says "Most beautiful people - physical... both ladies and guys, are the ones with the ugliest behaviour" since most of the attraction has been centered on looks at first sight.
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A lot of people go about saying love is the foundation of every relationship which is right but it is not the first thing two people feel immediately they meet. Whatever brought them together can eventually transform into love but it is funny to believe that you fell in love with someone at first sight. You can get attracted to someone either by the things that appeals to you but that is the first step to getting drawn to the person and love is built in the long run.
Let's look at it from this angle.
Is it possible to build a house without a foundation? The answer is "NO", there is no way you can erect a proper building without a foundation and if you try, it will be a waste when the storm comes. Let's not forget that before the foundation, there was something which is the land in which the foundation was built.
What am I driving at?
Since we can compare love as a foundation, we should as well believe that before love came into the picture, there was something that made us connect.
Humans are attracted to one another in different ways and it could be beauty, intelligence, voice, or any other thing. These things make us get interested in one another and getting to know each other gradually is what develops into love. What you are attracted to sometimes is dependent on who you are or what gets you excited. The first major attractions for some people might be a nice dentition, a beautiful smile, a good dress sense, physical structure of the body, smell, shoes, beards or even height. It could be anything but that is a step towards finding love but not necessarily love at first sight.
Some were lucky enough to find it at first try...meaning the first time they met someone that got them attracted based on what they like, it worked out for them and they found love along the way...that where the love at first sight concept came from. Let's not forget, we are living in the real world and not in some coined movies.
Whenever a guy says around me that he fell in love with a lady at first, I always make it clear that they are going in there for something else. Something attracted them and that's why the relationship sometimes crumble later because they couldn't handle the behaviour and it goes both ways. What attracted you is different from what you have to deal with as closeness keeps getting deeper. You can't whisk it away. You can't cover it up with dates upon dates because at some point you still have to find out about that person and that's where the true test of what you claimed you have is. If it's genuine, it would stand and if it's on the surface, you both won't work out.
A lot of people tend to argue this fact for a while but after analysing and making them understand the truth, they realise that attraction is what they mistake for love. After attraction comes interaction and in the process of interaction, we get to know each other and love builds up when we find each other compatible. Most people confuse attraction for love and the moment they have had their fill and also gotten to know that person, the attraction wears off and they move on to another person.
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Claiming love to be a thing at first sight is why a lot of homes are broken today, people ignore the interaction stage because they interpreted what they felt wrongly and by the time they realise that they were wrong, they have invested so much which makes it difficult for them to back out easily. They keep enduring rather than enjoying. Love should be enjoyed and love is what keeps you going when tough times happen and they will. It's never a matter of IF but WHEN.
A long time ago, I met two lovers who were having issues but letting go was difficult. I don't know if they didn't know what their problem was or if they just decided to ignore it. I had a conversation with the guy and after explaining some things, I discovered they were only attracted to each other for different reasons and not love but he kept emphasizing how he fell in love with the lady at first sight but I saw beyond that.
The guy is young and has a good job, he is living comfortably while the lady is beautiful and "endowed". Very catchy, yeah? You can understand why it's difficult to let go. He liked what he saw and she wanted the money as well. He wasn't ready to let his beautiful damsel go while she was still enjoying the money. The good thing is that they are not married and hopefully, they realise that love was not what brought them together initially.
Infatuation and love are two different things, the earlier we define our feelings for people the better for us. Be honest with people. It's okay to tell them what you want and if you are not sure yet, be honest about it too. Stop raising people's hopes all in the name of love because you know that's what they wanted. It's sad but sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve. When you love yourself enough, you won't accept just any kind of "love" that humans have translated into.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today; doctor's order.
Beautiful 😍😍
Thank you, Sommy.
You are highly Welcome 🤗🤗
Isn't this amazing? I love your write-ups, they are so relatable. When it comes to love, there is no such thing as love at first sight. You can be attracted to someone at first sight but love is obviously a gradual process.
I do love engaging topics like this. Nice one💯👌
Very relatable guy
Somedays, I have been attracted to not less than ten beautiful strangers. You can multiply this number by seven days of the week. Does it now mean I have found seventy loves in a week? That's laughable.
Attraction at first site is fine but there is a significant gap between that and love.
😂😂🤣🤣😂 exactly. Most people would love someone this week and then another the next... I wonder too how they have so many love at first sight at a go.
You dig it😂
This comment really got me😂
I had no option but to reply. This is a really lovely analysis. I guess you just nailed the whole thing... There's no one who can disagree with this.
Lovely comment 💯👌
Thank you so much, brother. You are right...there is attraction at first sight but love needs to gather momentum. Thank you for being here...it means a lot.
Love really needs to gather momentum. It's definitely a gradual process, it's not something felt at first sight.
I appreciate. Thank you also for your beautiful and engaging write-ups🤗
I don't believe in love at first sight, I think it the physical look that attracts someone to a person then the feelings build up from there.
Absolutely...it's the physical attraction based on our preference that attracts us to someone. Love is always a process... For some...they only prefer intelligent mind. Have you seen a couple and you wonder...how??? Because we focus sometimes on the physical but love runs deeper than that.
Thank you so much for your continual support. It means a lot.
I myself have seen such a scene my friend also liked a girl in the same way and the girl didn't even know about it until today but he has ruined his life now he is also starting to smoke so it is a very wrong thing when a person ever likes someone in this way then he must be told and if he does then he is happy otherwise he should move on in his life.
When you like someone you have to tell them. Love isn't something to be guessed. We can't want affection from afar. Love is a voice that needs to speak with words and actions. 🤗
You have done this very well, when someone loves someone, he must tell him, then whether he loves him or not, it is up to him if he tells about love. If he tells me no, then he will continue to live a troubled life with love inside him for the rest of his life and I have seen many people who are living this way. All these people should not do it this way because life comes once.
Truth is that love has to stand the test of time in order to actually be love.
At first site, this criterion has not been met yet. It needs time and learning processes therein.
It is more frustrating to people who may not have the capacity or the patience to give it the time it needs and analyze it painstakingly. I say this because emotions and feelings, even such over the roof,can be built for someone maybe out of infatuation or out of mere attractive superficiality. Such situations appear as love, but in reality, they are illusory.
Best way to check the authenticity is by giving it time.
May we always find the love we deserve or better still, may the love we deserve always find us🤗
Love requires time... Love requires patience...you have to give it time and it requires effort. Thanks a lot, brother for this brilliant input.
Exactly, I wouldn't call it love,f it's just a mere attraction we mistake for love at first sight.
I know whenever I go outside my house I get attracted to so many guys hahaha, but there's a particular someone you might meet for the first time and you will feel a spark between the both of you, different from the others, I think that's love at first sight.
In my take, I believe in love at first sight. The problem is we do get attracted to people every day and we don't know how to describe that feeling so we use love.
I addressed what you just spoke about in the post. You can have a spark with someone on the first meeting and that's that. Love is about knowing people... understanding that person enough to build love... Love is knowing someone and still choosing to love them...you can't know people on the first meeting but the chemistry or spark like you called it would be there.
People love to lie to themselves about what they really feel and assume it is love. Some people don't understand the feeling so I wouldn't blame them too much.
I love your illustration about the stages of love, that's really cool. We can't skip any stage because it ends up affecting the structure of everything in the long run.
Very great post and very informative, I agree with you, I think there is no or rather there is no love at first sight, but as you say attraction at first sight, I am of those who think that love is built with that special person, know each other well enough and of course be sure that person will be at all times for you, very cool post friend, hug