We Can Never Repay Them - LOH #148
Now that I am a parent, I understand vividly what it takes to raise a child. The sacrifice, the time, the pains at the labor room, the energy,the sleepless nights, the hard work, etc. are what parents go through in nurturing their offspring. We can't even repay our parents with any amount of money you can think of; we can only try our best to care for them, but not at the expense of our happiness. To me as a child, it's not just necessary because it's not my responsibility; however, I can be thoughtful to assist.
My kids and me, designed using canva
I think it's wrong for parents to pass on family responsibilities to their children even after they graduate from school. This is because parents willingly brought these children into the world, and it's their duty to take care of them. My parents are my primary role models. Even as my siblings and I graduate from school, they never transfer any family responsibilities to us. My mom will rather assist you from her earnings. She didn't stop working, nor did she stop doing her business, because we are all graduates and can take on family responsibilities. Many times, my siblings and I are the ones to request that we assist my family financially. We can look for an important project in my family, discuss it within ourselves, and carry it out without the knowledge of my parents, and whenever my mom finds it out, she will remind us that this is never our responsibility and that we should focus on building our lives because we have our lives to live. She loves it more when we just show her motherly love and care, but she never bothered us financially. I really love her mentality, and so shall I do to my kids.
Why should I allow my children to carry burdens that are not supposed to be theirs? My children cannot repair any of my laborious effort, and I wouldn't stress them financially even when they are fit because it's not their responsibility. However,they can choose to thoughtfully assist whenever they are capable of doing so freely.
I know a parent who once said, "I am investing in my children so that when they make it in the future, they will in turn overtake the family responsibilities" . Many parents, too, have this mentality. In my home town, there is this man who nearly frustrated the life of his only son simply because his expectations weren't met. The man expected the son to join his mate and make money by any means just after finishing secondary school, but unfortunately, the son couldn't lay his hands on things that could give him the big money the father expected. This man will wake up so many mornings to keep comparing his son with others; his words were demoralizing to the son, and out of desperation, he joined bad guys in the quest to make money and repay his dad for nudging him to that level. Luckily for him, things went wrong in the process of some rituals in the native doctor's house, and he escaped from there. On hearing this confession from the young lad in our village square that faithful afternoon,I was dumbfounded. Many people blamed the father for his action. This is really a wrong notion that many parents practice.
On the other hand, it's also equally a mistake for any child to think that he can repay his parents for any laborious effort. Just like this young boy in my story thought and started making the wrong move due to pressure from his dad, Children owe nothing to any parent; their existence is never at their personal request, and they shouldn't assume any responsibility not meant for them because no matter the riches you shower upon your parents, you cannot repay them.
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Parents aren't their children responsibilities but we can't ignore them because of that. No matter how okay they are, they still need us as they get older.
Of course they need us but transfering all the responsibilities isn't the right thing to do unless they are old enough and can't do anything. Children too have their lives to live and if children are raised properly with care, they will not forget their parents too... willingly though
Amen. This is so profound. 🙏Our children are such blessings ❤️
Indeed
Thank you so much @clairemobey
I come from a place where kids are being considered as tools for poverty alleviation. These kids are not even properly trained, taken care of or given the goods things of life, they just expect them to be millionaires and stopped giving back.
I once asked one of my aunt for school fee over 8 years ago, and she said, it wasn't her duty to give me school fee, that it was I who was meant to cater for her.
Hehehe...like seriously, you are meant to cater for her..lolz
Unfortunately, that's the mentality of many, even most of my relatives believes so. My cousin brother has been struggling to have at least #50,000 savings since the last one year without success and the reason has been his Dad. Imagine, his Dad of 48 years old, stopped working and started tasking this young lad. He sleeps and wake up every morning doing nothing and almost every weekend, he call my cousin brother and request for 10k. Can you imagine that? Even for other bills at home, he still call him to pay...that's really weird of you ask me
When I was younger, I do blame my Uncles and aunts whenever I asked them for money and they don't give or the response is not positive.
Now am the Uncle 😂, I now know the overwhelming responsibility and commitment, although I tried to Be a better Support to My siblings, I give when I have, and when I don't I let them Know,
For My Parents, I honestly can't repay them, But I always try my best to put a smile on their face.
That's the way to go .. you can put smiles on their faces but repaying them is not even possible
Thanks for coming through
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Oh wow, I actually love this post so much, it is very profound. At the same time, people will have different opinions concerning this, and that’s okay as well. Our personal stories and struggles are different, so our lives can take different courses which would lead us to making different decisions.
We all know that no one begged to be born into this world, so it is up to the ones that made that decision for them to take care of them. I also agree with you that most parents actually see their children as investments, that is even some people’s sole reason for giving birth. They want someone to take care of them when they can no longer do, well, I don’t see anything wrong in it though.
But I wish this kind of mentality can be spread to every parents out there. They should not pressurize their children in any way, they should also allow them to write their own story and just keep praying and supporting them so they will able to take care of them as well.
Btw, thank you very much for the other day ma. God bless you abundantly
This is a pure truth. And yes, there's nothing wrong in children assisting their parents only if there's no pressure or comparison from parents. A well trained child who was cared for and loved by the parent will surely be thoughtful in doing the needful to his parents even without being told.
I hope you are doing well pearl ? Uwc 😍🥰
Parents' laborious effort can not be repaid by money.. Their sacrifices, sleepless nights, and restless days, the tears and pain, can not be replaced by any monetary means or material possessions.
As children, we can only repay their sacrifices by making them happy until the end of their lives.
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Indeed 👌
Thanks for this wonderful insight Jane
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As much as I thought in the story, as the man was pestering that young boy to make it, it would end up in money rituals. Most boys that are yahoo boys today, maybe into yahoo because we do not know who is pestering them at home. They are just doing all they can to meet the expectations of others.
Although it is not compulsory to take up family responsibilities, a sensible child would definitely choose to assist his parents when he can. That is the lease we can do for them.
Exactly 💯
I share same thought with you here
Even without being told, a sensible child will do the needful but parents shouldn't make one feel under a kind of pressure to assist the family
Family dynamics are different. For instance, in the Chinese/Japanese culture parents take care of their children so they can take care of them in their old age. We practise the same here in Nigeria, and I don't fault that. I understand it puts pressure on the child and even the parent but that's life for the most part. A family is a unit and should work together.
People say it's the parent's responsibility to take care of the kids. Some parents don't; some parents abandon their kids or even give them up for adoption. It is a choice at the end of the day.
I am currently fending for my 4 siblings at my expense. It is difficult most time and I want to quit but then again I love my siblings and I understand my mum doesn't have the finances to take care of them. I could be indifferent about this and just move on with my life because I don't owe them that much, but at the same time I feel a huge sense of responsibility as the first child and I do want to see my people grow.
So like I said, finance dynamics are quite different.
Wow... you are taking such responsibilities at your will, because you are thoughtful, and for the love of your family and not because it's your responsibility. Any thoughtful child will do so but it becomes wrong when parents make it look like it's the responsibility of the first child to cater for the other siblings because of he has been nurtured up to adulthood. However there's nothing wrong in children assisting their parents any time including in their old age
Thanks for taking your time to read and drop a meaningful comment
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I love your mother for the kind of mentality she have I wish all parents will be like her, many parents think is children responsibility to carry all the financial responsibilities
People have different perspectives about certain things.
Thanks for coming through
Honestly, I really love your parent and the way they reason. Many dont have parents like that and it has ruin their life
I know of a lady friend that is the first child and immediately she gain admission into the university, her parent started demanding money from her with the word
remember who help you get to the place you are, this lead the lady to all sort of immorality just to fund her schooling and keep up with the billing
honestly have good parent is a blessing thats why i can never wish for another parent. I am serving as a youth corper and a male but popsi still sent money for me to get a new phone. Momsi always sending prayer and checking up on me with sweet advise,
we truly can never repay them
#dreemport
Wow ..I pity that lady in this story.. just imagine her life right now
Your parents are great too
Thank you for coming
You’re welcome ma
I agree with a lot of what you said in a comment, and my mother similar to yours always tells us to work for our own lives, and only asks us for help when she's overwhelmed, (we're not helping her enough nowadays and she lost a lot of her strength.) We're not the best family, but we manage.
I totally agree that we can never repay them.
My stance on this topic comes from religion. Islam acknowledges that parents can never be repaid even if the only thing they did was to birth you, so you have to obey your parents as long as you're not obeying them with something forbidden in Islam.
It's a big responsibility and hard to follow, I believe God meant for us to stumble at it, so we can repent to him. Bad parents can abuse this authority too. (I don't claim to be a good child who obeys his parents, but I try.)
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You have a very beautiful family. Thanks for sharing their pictures.
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Yesoo sis
Thank you so much for stopping by 👍
That mentality is a disastrous one. I’m glad not all parents have it towards their children. We can never be able to pay back all the deeds of our parents but we can be there for them and love
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Exactly 💯 Deraaa
Nice summary of my view
Thank you!