Grandparent stories contest entry: @nineclaws
(Edited)
Grandparent stories contest entry: @nineclaws
(image removed)
My father said, “Walk softly and choose where you step. Be aware of the conditions around you, they change.”
Note made, pay attention, observe, say nothing, give nothing away, wait for the right moment, it always presents itself.
Note made, grow some patience and make it a forest, don’t be like Dad.
Death is change, not an end point.
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Thanks for your entry Nine, haven't read yet as I'm about to phone-interview for a role but I will.
Photos 👉💚
My pleasure @galenkp! All the best for the phone-interview.
Thank you!
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What a great post and tribute to your dad and the relationship you had with him...Also a nice little piece on who you are as you reveal many things here should a person choose to see.
I like how you've added in your notes to self to punctuate the lesson he taught you, or wisdom you gained. It's open and honest, self-honest, well presented and just feels so damned *nice.
I'm sorry your dad departed, mine has too as you know; it's the way of things though and his leaving creates a little room for you to be you, a reflection of him with a healthy smattering of you!
Thanks for writing it and I'm glad you took me up on my offer to write about someone else if the grandparent things wasn't a thing. Oh, just on that point...Yeah, lessons can also be learned, wisdom gained, from those whom we don't value or respect. Anyway, thank you.
Thank you @galenkp, I'm really touched by what you've said.
I sweating profusely knew you would see.
Thank you, I do. It is the natural order of life in this world, one that I accept.
I couldn't agree more with yet another section you've more or less quoted from my code book. One of these times, we have to compare books. 😉😊
My notebook is written in secret code. Well, not really, it's just that my writing is that bad it's illegible so...It'll need deciphering.
I'm willing to bet that it's all committed to memory and you don't even need to decipher it for that reason.
Mostly yes...But there's still pages to turn...That's part of the charm; one never know what may be on the next.
Of course still pages to turn. I've never written mine down because it evolves and changes. It's a living thing.
It's a living thing
Who sang that song? I'm driving so can't googleise it. Used to like that song. ELO?
🤣 ELO seems to be the flavour this week. It's already popped up earlier.
It's a Living Thing
That be the one! I used to like that song a lot - Been so long since I heard it.
Haha, yes, same here!
Yay! 🤗
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Thank you!
It gets easier. I'm a pro with death.
I thought a mother/son bond was untouchable, find a young dude who buried their mother at least, I know they'll agree but for the most part, mother/son bond is as strong as it gets. Pura buried her dad when she was 22. Getting to know her, I learned I knew nothing about father/daughter bonds.
It gets easier.
What are your pro tips from your perspective? I'm always interested to learn.
That's so young to have to let go. Mother/daughter bonds can be very strong also. It depends on those involved.
I don't think it gets easier. I'm saying this because I'm having my second go around with it at present. It's not easier, it's just different and I've learned skills from the first go around, which is making the second go around easier to manage, so in that way, easier, yes....on the merry-go-round.
Thank you @dandays, I know what you've said comes from your big golden heart, you softie.
Just with the stuff you don't have to do on your own. Will and testament stuff, ceremonies, probates, cremations, transferring bodies across state lines—pro.
All. Of. Them. I wish I wasn't pro, it's just the way this one plays out.
Oh, the lovely stuff you mean. None of that is fun but also good to have the knowledge and experience. That's something that you can give to others as well. I wish it hadn't been like that for you though.
If it's inappropriate, forget I asked. How was the service, full house?
It's impossible to forget anything where you're concerned 🤣
The service was definitely a full house. 😊
Since you brought it up, how many signs you think exposing vulnerability requires?
Hmmmm....I'd say it's situational and contextual. I'd need a specific situation to respond with a fuller answer, since I take each situation and person in the moment, deciding at that time.
The service.
Ahh, the service. I'll have to foment that one.
what stunning photos.
Thank you @aagabriel! Any favourites?
The dead leaf
Ahhh, yes, that's one of my favs too.
Sounds like our dads woulda gotten along swell. My father is 100% responsible for my twisted sense of humor… it certainly didn't come from my dear sweet mother :)
Mine passed a year before yours. Barely six months after they found the melanoma he was gone. Skin cancer is a bitch.
Hahaha! So happy to hear that you have also acquired a twisted sense of humour from your father.
I'm really sorry to hear that. That's fast and I agree with you.
Such is life, as you know. We all gotta go somehow. It just really sucks to have to see someone else go, and then keep living with that memory in your head. Having a twisted sense of humor helps, though :)
P. S. Thanks for that, dad!
It is and we do have to go sometime. It does suck but I've worked out most of it now. A twisted sense of humour has saved me more times than I can count. It's doing infinite duty these days.
Love it that you thanked your Dad! 😊
Wow, such an incredible story. Loved it. And so many lessons to learn from, so many memories to cherish from.
Really loved all the quotes too. Especially this one:
Thanks for sharing all these lessons and wisdom.
Thank you @looftee! There's so much more than what I've put in this story. I picked out what felt right to highlight. Many, many cherished memories, as far back as when I was teething, that's the earliest one.
Thank you for checking my post out, leaving me a lovely comment (comments are delicious to me). It's been my pleasure to share, you're welcome.
Thank you!
What a beautiful thing over here. I'd add that my relationship with both my parents isn't great. My father's parents were crazier than him. But my if my mom's parents were a source of knowledge and spoilage for me. A lot of the things I know now and they way I am comes by virtue of the interactions I had. Now, only grandma reminds and she isn't much for talking these days, but their job is already done. I just go by give her stuff and a big hug when I arrive and another before leaving.
This experiences of changing through the departure of loved ones is a step forward into understanding our own mortality and coming to terms with what makes life what it actually is. I love this style of self-comment through anecdotes. Lovely reading and message.
Beautiful comment and sharing from your life, thank you!
Well put, I couldn't agree more.
This is what I've been doing most of my life, LOL. This is the first time I've said it openly though. 🤣
Well, we all comment like that in our lives. Like we are in some movie of sorts. It's fine to see it put into a fine stream of thought. Also, very organized.
We're in a movie? I need to upgrade. I'm still performing on live stage with minimal props and scenery.
I think you're very right, everyone does it. I've just never consciously thought about it until you mentioned it. Thank you. It's so good to get the feedback, to know I'm putting this together in a way that works well.
admits to being one of those fixated on organization types
Well, I'm still of low budget experimental Latin American film stage. So, I'm telling you. It can be worse than having few props. 🤣
Hey, Virginia Woolf showed us all that stories can be put in very weird ways and still be considered as such. Anything goes if the form is consistent.
I think all artists are very organized. Creativity needs to be grounded to work. In chaos, randomness can harm any process till there's nothing at all.
I'm more down with "low budget" fits my choice of lifestyle. Experimental is the best.
Can't argue with that!
I'm not typical of most artists. You haven't had the "funness" of seeing what I've seen. Most artists are, by nature, not organized, at least from what I've seen.
Grounded creativity is an interesting concept. I'm going to chew on that for a while. You're on point about chaos though. Those I've known, who have reached the upper echelons of the niche part of the fine art world I used to be a part of were very organized. It's a must have really. I guess I've seen a spectrum of artists and some absolutely crazy ones too.
Maybe not everything from their lives is organized, but their process tends to be. At least that much I hold to be true. However, my mind can be swayed by compelling arguments about this. There's a lot to learn about people and their ways.
Those are my two cents. Don't spend them at once! 🤣
I've known a whole spectrum of artists. Some are highly organized with their art, but not with other aspects of their lives. Some are extremely organized about everything. Some are more balanced. Some are literally nuts. Some are a "hawt mess". Some are some of the closest friends I have (that's with a selective approach, mind you).
I'm saving those two cents. I need to sit with that concept and explore it more before I spend a teeny, tiny, microscopic part of a cent. Does that make cents?
Some tiny little bit of organization goes on anything. Even messes are organized to some level. But I love the echelons of organization through those lens. A nice way to put it.
Maybe, you'll tell me once you dance with the idea.
You encouraged me to look at the forest. 😉 You're quite right about messes being organized. I've seen that.
I'll most definitely share. 🤣😚
My pleasure. I'm also learning stuff from this exchanges.
That't half of the experience! 😄
It flows back and forth, the learning. I love that, savour it.
😂 Sharing is half the experience, I like that.
Oh, baby. I like it when you talk nerdy! 😏😘
An important part of it!
🤣 Learning is one of the "spices" of life for me. Others are another "spice" of life, a very necessary one that I couldn't do without.
Spices are good to prevent consuming too much salt! Ha, ha, ha. But I get the point. I love learning. I can't stop myself from wanting to learn about a lot of things and that's how I spend a lot of the day.
I've never met a pepper I couldn't eat, including ghost peppers (but never a whole fresh one of those at once).
The sweetest words and I am on that same page.
I like spicy stuff, but even more when it has flavor. Spice for spice' sake is a kind of weird thing.
Sweet and sweet things! 😘
Agreed again. Must have flavour, not just heat, only way to be sweet 😘
Yes, it's like this show "Hot Ones" that's an interview eating buffalo wings. Some people hate certain hot sauces because they are pure spice and no flavor. That sounds horrible. But a flavorful spice is a piece of heaven (or hell). 🤣😘
I've had the "pure" hot. It's so incredibly hot though that it ruins any experience of flavour. It is horrible. Balance is a must. I haven't seen "Hot Ones", but I think I've heard of it. Flavourful is all I do. I can't stand it any other way.
Wow this hit me to the core. First of all I loved how you placed quotes after paragraphs to summarize what you learned from your Dad.
This gives me a good glimpse about you as a person actually. I got an idea about where exactly did you get your different forms of creativity from. I am glad your Dad was able to have this impact. Although he has passed away, you keep his memory alive by expressing creativity in your own way
I have to ask what part that hit in your core, if you don't mind sharing.
Thank you @moon-city! He was very gifted and he inspired me that way. He's never done art. Music was his thing. He was most disappointed that I chose to pursue art and not music. Eventually, he accepted that. Most definitely, he and I are the same, we both loved to disappear into creativity, or working with our hands, even the most mundane of physical labour. I'm very grateful to share this with him and carry on after he's gone, in the some of the same ways he did when he was alive.
Most importantly, he lives on inside. All I have to do is reach in and he's there. I just miss the hugs and laughs most of all.
This entire part really hit me. It is quite appalling of the medical team that was involved in this whole process to have put your Dad through this process.
I am glad that he accepted your choices. You are doing pretty well.
It is appalling. This sort of medical mistreatment is far more common that most people are aware of. It impacted my entire family in such a way that it rippled out into a series of terrible events in addition to what my father was put through. One of the hardest for me was my mother blaming herself for years. I've never had much faith in the medical system. Once I went over all the medical documents, and investigated the drugs he was given (some of which they forced him to take against his will), my whole perception of medical care in this country changed permanently.
I never gave him a choice, although I felt sad that I didn't have the same motivation to pursue music as I did art. I've only dabbled in music a bit. I'm content with where I am, so that's what matters.
Nine I am extremely so ti hear about the ripple effects the medical mistreatment caused. Oh my goodness I feel awful that your mom blamed herself for years. I know a family friend who experienced a medical mishap and it was the same case...the mom blamed herself.
This is appalling on too many levels. I can definitely understand why your perspective about the medical world has changed. It failed on many levels. I am proud of you to continue to keep pushing yourself in several creative endeavors.
Yes, none of it was fun. It was a very good learning experience though. I am acutely aware of what many go through now, aside from my own experience. Everything, day to day, offers many learning opportunities, so that is what I focus on.
Definitely pushing myself creatively 🤣, thank you.
Beautiful post,
@nineclaws!
Much !LUV 10
<><
@nineclaws, you've been given LUV from @thoughts-in-time.
Check the LUV in your H-E wallet. (1/10)
Thank for very much @thoughts-in-time and thanks for the LUV!
Hello @nineclaws. Wisdom, caring, observant, strong, humorous, hard-working, and loving. All those things I felt while reading the story of your dad. You were extremely lucky to have him in your life.
I also didn't grow up with the luxury of having grandparents.
I absolutely love your story. It's witty, serious, and thoughtful. But most of all, it contains life lessons not just for you, but for anyone who cares to spot them. Coming from a parent, no matter whose it is, is an opportunity I wouldn't want to miss.
Thank you for sharing. Take care, and stay safe.
I was extremely lucky to have him in my life. I've counted that up beyond what I could say.
You've not had that experience either. Do you find you miss it also?
Thank you for all the lovely things you've said. 💜 I do wish to pass on anything I can to others, if it may be of assistance to them on their own paths.
Yes, I've always missed it. Growing up, mostly all my friends would talk about or visit their grandparents. They talked about how much they loved them, and wished they could stay with them instead of their parents. It created a yearning in me that still exists.
For that reason, my grandchildren won't miss out.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond. You've given me an insight into your personality also shaped by those memories of your dad.
Take care.
Yes, it did the same with me. At one point, I thought, can I put an ad out asking for grandparents I can adopt.
This is beautiful! I have found that experiences like this can be very motivating to one's own growth.
Thank you, it's my pleasure.
!LUV
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@nineclaws, you've been given LUV from @justclickindiva.
Check the LUV in your H-E wallet. (1/10)
Thank you for the Luv!
What a beautiful tribute to your father, truly heartwarming! So sad that he suffered with lengthy health issues, but what a legacy he left behind, and you're right, he lives on in your heart and soul.
I love your closing phrase:
Thank you for sharing your touching story here in Silver Bloggers for @galenkp's contest!
Silver-Blond Lizzie
Thank you Silver-Blond Lizzie, I'm so glad that you've enjoyed my post. Many suffer like this, as I know well, so that's always in my mind.
I live by that last statement. I'm touched you picked that out to highlight. It means so much to me.
Wonderful writing and emotionally moving. I'll be back with another comment when it has time to sink in.
Thank you @ammonite, feel free to add in whatever you'd like to say.
i love your content
Thank you!
yes please give me hive power
Why are you asking me to give you hive power?
"Ok, all my HP, comin right up!"
Maggot.
O M G
That's crazy.
i love your content
Finally I got some time to check the posts I marked for reading and I am glad I did.
The bond between fathers and daughter are something very special,
Hmm now I know from where you got not only your skills but also your whacked out sense of humor.
It was so moving to read this piece.
I lost my dad when I was 12 my love for gardening, animals and nature came from him.
No matter how old or young you are a loss like this can never be filled.
Hugs to you.
I was hoping it would clarify a few things, solve some mystery. 😁
That is hard at such a young age. Lovely connection your father. He lives on in you.
Heart is the connection to those who have left the body. I reach in and he's right there. Thank you so much @sofs-su. Hugs back to you!
Well this was just exquisite.
first - the pics..
Some pictures make me want to cry. Tattoodjay often brings me to this point with his beauty... that leaf point was it for me. I just felt my heart get squeezed and it just becomes unfathomable that something like this exists for a time, in the process of decay - looking like its gilded in gold... and soon to just blow away.
life is so fragile.
Of course I never knew your dad, but I could swear I saw him in my mind's eye - talking about rocks not being able to be taken. What a character! hehehe
I'm very thankful for the medicine we have. and the doctors who care. I dont' mean to sound ungrateful for the blessings that we have because people study medicine and give their lives to make others well.
But.
As a person who is still a medical mystery (and I am one of so many) to doctors who do NOT care as much... it is a tragedy. I've had the wonderful ones - but distance and time have separated us - and you find yourself "on your own" or worse... starting from square one - tempted to give up - and just handling your body the best way you can.
life is so fragile.
I'm thankful that he lives on in you. This is the gift we have for those treasures of people that we are blessed to have for seasons in our lives to shape and mold us.
Loved this post very much.
Thank you for inviting all of the readers to connect and "see" your dad in your words.
That's what matters :)
Thank you for everything thing you wrote. I am so touched it brought me to tears as I read your words. You're very perceptive.
That you've seen exactly what I saw and tried to capture Leaf Point, I rarely encounter someone who picks up on such nuances and subtle aspects to the degree that I now feel like you were standing there with me while I shot that. I am fascinated with the process of decay, the state of change.
Many heartfelt thanks for your words. I am deeply touched.
Loved his sense of humor, hes one of my own, my fiancee says i got the worse kind of humor there is xD
Thanks and you're pretty funny, I've seen the evidence. 😂 Maybe tell your fiancee to get comfortable, it's a package deal?
I guess so, bad humo rand good life? See the other comment i leaved for you :3
I saw the other comment you left for me, thanks. I'm all about laughter, I find so many things funny every day. I'm really not the one to advise except advice for myself. Best thing is to go day by day, live in the present.
So I'm stopping by to give a more personal thank you. Thank you. Congratulations on the reward, got dang! Approaching triple digit comments, too, is that typical?
You're like all like popular n stuff.
Don't hate me cuz
I'm beautifulI had a difficult decision. I appreciate entries like yours, not everyone gets a follow up thank you. I had a note next to yours, it said "authentic, difficult for her to write."💖
Thank you @dandays, it means a lot to me that you left a follow up thank you, you know how I love comments. Yeah, I'm blown away by all of it. I have no expectations, so it's always a surprise to me. I'm focused on trying to get a post together that pleases me (not easy to do, I'm a tough self-judge), after it's posted, I've let go of it. Whatever happens, happens. Not that I don't care; I know I have no control over outside events.
No thought like that ever crossed my mind. Besides, green eyes and all, kinda like green eggs and ham, can't resist them, nor the funny, nor the authenticity that is who you are, plus adding in that serious side, all jokes aside. You did so well with this contest, thorough, serious, balanced, never missed a beat. You make a great judge.
As I said, you never miss a beat. Admirable. Such an utter pleasure to know you and so glad I met you on Hive. Send any naysayers my way 😉
Also, what the what the what did I just see? Yeah, you're total heart of gold, yup.
Aren't I great at doing workarounds for swear words? the blue moon rare time you're going to hear me toot my own horn
👍