A Lady's Motivation

The future, they say, belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams, and this cannot be far from the truth. If there is one thing that inspires me to work hard, it is the dream and desire to become a better lady. Growing up, I have seen and heard how some women are treated by their families, who view them as commodities rather than assets, leading to ill-treatment and neglect.

In many families, fathers see their daughters as someone else's property, which often results in them not investing in their education or personal development. Instead of sending their daughters to school, these fathers tend to marry them off at an early age without equipping them with the basic skills needed for survival. Such girls often end up as mere baby-making machines and full-time housewives who cannot contribute to the growth of their families and depend entirely on their husbands for even the smallest necessities, which they should be able to afford for themselves.

In my community, I know two or three married women who are nothing but full-time housewives to struggling husbands. These women often face domestic violence for any minor mistake, with their husbands threatening to send them back to their parents' homes and embarrassing them in public as if they have no worth. It baffles me how any lady could be comfortable in such a situation. Is the purpose of their existence merely to bear children?

Some other women I know, who allowed the saying "a woman's education ends in the kitchen" to define them, are not finding life easy. These women sometimes go as far as begging for the most common household items, like matches, when their husbands are not around to provide. Observing their struggles, I am inspired each day to work hard. I do not want to be the wife who fully depends on her husband for everything, literally everything.

I have heard many girls say that their goal is to marry a rich husband who can treat them delicately, pamper them, providing for all their needs while they enjoy life at home. Such talks make me wonder if women don't strive for success within their families. What happened to being That lady, capable of affording at least the basic necessities for oneself?

Not to be misunderstood, I am not a feminist, nor do I advocate for women to work solely to prove they don't need a man to survive or exist. All I stand for is a woman having something to do before and even after marriage to support herself and her family. Some women really need to wake up and start thinking outside the box. Imagine a situation where a man is no longer able to provide for the family due to illness, accident, or even loss of a job. What will become of the family? Whenever we discuss why it's important for a woman to have something of her own, my mom always cites herself as a good example.

Obviously, my dad has been the one taking care of the family, providing for every need until he was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, diabetes. This illness makes it very difficult for him to continue working, as he frequently feels weak and tired, sometimes unable to leave the house for days. What would have been our fate if my mom had nothing to do, since my dad can no longer provide as he used to?

Certainly I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale, seeing how some housewives suffer in their marriages because they don't have a job or can't contribute to their families, and even if a man is capable of providing for the family without his wife having to work, conditions can change, which may make it difficult for him to support the family. I am motivated to keep going.

Moreover, a woman can help out her parents and others around her if she has the means to do so. Relying solely on one's husband for everything makes it difficult for a woman to help extended family members, It is only when she is satisfied first that she can help others.

I don't know about other women, but I know that I don't want to be a wife who cannot afford basic needs. I don't want to be in a position where I cannot help people around me, especially my parents, they deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labor. That alone is a strong motivation for me.

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