After a year, AFALOSAG comes back for one more edition! Hallowed be!

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Hola everyone! And welcome to the tenth edition of Adventures from a Lifetime of Staring at Sweethearts, I am your host with the hoes, Nevies the not-novice 😉, the eyes of Horus looking at the ass of whore-rus (Yes, I'd do anything for the rhyme)

So this is the tehth edition, you can read the first here, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh, the eighth, and the ninth.

This is a series where I give situation reports about things that transpire as I go about my daily life simply being a gentleman, walking upright, breathing in air, keeping an open mind like they say in the philosophy books, and finally keeping an open eye that just happens to take in so many girls.

Here's the intro to the series:

Hi everyone,

I'm assuming by now everyone knows I'm like most modest gentlemen out there, which means everyone knows that quite like everybody else I breathe through my nose, eat through my mouth, and like me some girls 😀.

There are a lot of things I want to do with these girls, naturally, and once in a while I'm lucky enough to do it with them, other times I'm stumbling and rolling on the ground from hitting the many obstacles that stand between me and doing the happy things I want to do with these girls. But there's one thing that is the easiest to do, this one thing that every gentleman like myself dearly loves to do, this one thing that never fails us, this one thing that is always readily available to be done if you quite want to. That one thing is: looking at girls!

It never fails. All you need to do is go where girls could be found, or simply go about your daily business in society, keeping an open heart and an open eye and you'd get to absorb all the beauty, hills and plains, curves, and edges these ladies drag along with them.

There are studies (you can check one out here), that prove that staring at women can be very beneficial to men's lifespans and health. Now I'm an honest man, I'm not trying to pretend like this study is the reason why I stare at girls, I had been staring at girls years before the people who carried out this study were even born, but I'm bringing this study up so that you can look at me and be proud of me for the great work I'm busy doing on my health and lifespan instead of doing drugs and ruining my life. You see?

So in my day-to-day quest to stay a model young man by improving my health in this way, I do have some adventures (Funny how I didn't have to become an archeologist in the end in order to have my fair share of adventure in this life). I've decided I start sharing my adventures, observations, and stories with the rest of the world, who knows I might end up inspiring people to be healthier and lead better lives. With that I welcome you all to the brand new series titled:

Adventures From a Lifetime of Staring at Girls Confetti!

As always, I'm going to be separating these different adventures/stories and calling them 'Reports' for organizational purposes like I always do. Take it like a diary of some sort. Each adventures post would typically have many reports so it would never be too brief. Alright, here we go for the sixth edition!

Report 1: Guy at the Bar

I was sitting at a bar quietly, having a drink, focusing on the now, because the now happened to have a lot of nice bootied girls walking around. My eyes stayed with these girls' waists every step of the way as they walked around. Then all of a sudden I noticed some guy who was sitting across from me a table away.

You know how when someone is looking at you too much you always have the urge to return the look? That was how this stupid guy was returning looks at me every now and then because he clearly thought my gaze was set upon him when my gaze was rather set on the booties that kept passing behind him.

This stupid guy! How could he have thought I was staring at him when there were booties everywhere? If it seemed like I was looking in his direction why didn't he think there is no way I could be staring at him and then look back to see if it was something behind him I was staring at? Humans never fail to tire me out🤦‍♂️.

I kept frowning as he kept looking at me until I thought, wait, what if this guy is also a humble booty watcher like myself and is not staring at me but at some booty behind me? I turned my back immediately to check and there it was! Some beautiful array of booties behind me that I hadn't noticed all along. Ah!

I studied his gazes some more and confirmed that it was indeed the booties behind me he was staring at. So this means I was the one who had failed to realize that there was no way this guy could have been staring at me when there were booties everywhere and failed to look back to confirm first before judging him. I felt so guilty like I have seen the enemy and he is me!

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Report 2: Kunu Aya Sellers

There is a drink called "kunu aya" in my country Nigeria. It is one of those shake-before-drinking sort of drinks. The best handjobs I've had in my life came from some girl whose mum sells this drink at home. It wasn't until I saw this girl shaking this drink that I realized oh shit, this girl learned how to give great handjobs from shaking kunu aya bottles all day.

Because to shake this kunu aya drink you have to grip the bottle and go up and down continuously. That's what this girl has been practicing all her life! No wonder.

Since this girl, anytime I get a messed up handjob from any girl I just feel like telling them like the Bible said in Proverbs 6:6 "O ye sluggard! Go to the kunu aya sellers, consider their ways and be wise" like "go to the kunu aya sellers and learn how to give a good handjob, lazy motherfucker".

Report 3: The Old Man

While at this roadside shop, I saw an old man in his 80s or thereabouts, he sat still in one spot but his eyes didn't, his eyes stuck tightly to the booties of every girl that passed by and followed them all the way till they were completely out of sight.

At that point I was like, damn, this old man reminds me of myself. He must have been just like me in his 20s. I thought further, I'm just a 24-year-old guy and this man is in his 80s. 80 minus 24 is 56 years! So you mean I still have up to 56 years left, if I live that long, to keep doing this staring thing?

And I've never had such a mixture of feelings before, because it felt good like yay we still have 50+ years of our life still being all about booty and at the same time it felt bad like whoa, 50+ years and our life still all about booty?

The End

Hi there, my novella Professor Otagburuagu just got published. It promises to be thoroughly entertaining and intellectually stimulating. Written by myself and illustrated by Scandinavian artist @katharsisdrill. You can get it from me for just 4 HBD.

You can also order the hard copy from anywhere in the world via this link: https://katharsisdrill.art/the-katharsisdrill-shop/professor-otagburuagu/

I'm counting on your patronage, thank you!

Roll with @nevies, I run a Humor, deeper thoughts, and sex talk blog here on Hive🌚