Fiction: The Pursuer/ El perseguidor (ENG/ ESP)
The Pursuer
Then, as they carried him down the long, white-walled corridor, I went with him too. The hydraulic stretcher slid quickly, by emergency, carried by doctors and nurses running and checking vital signs. As those hallways were familiar to me, I stopped in a corner to wait and that's when I heard:
"The man is leaving us, he is leaving us!!!" -They hurriedly connected devices, machines and I went back to stand near his rib, on the side of his heart, so that he could see me. He opened his eyes and for a moment I thought he had seen me. His eyes and mouth had the typical grimace of surprise. All around him a doctor was connecting a defibrillator and sending electric shocks, over and over again to his chest. It was so fast the action of those who were there, that I saw his chest rise and fall again, slowly, almost imperceptibly, as if it was a small thread of life that crossed those lungs. An intermittent beep and lines going up and down on the monitor that was connected to him, indicated that I should wait.
Later, in the darkness of the room, my cold, pale hands brushed his forehead and I felt my pallor and my coldness pass into him. That feeling of power I liked so much, so I stopped my hands in his hands, as if to let him take my fingers, as if to join me, as if to hold on to my presence. His chest heaved rapidly and I heard the throng of people entering the room again.
I didn't see when the girl who threw the books on the floor arrived. Her heart wrenching cry, made me turn to see her. I thought I had seen her before, but where. On her face was the shadow of worry, but also sadness. She asked people insistently:
"Please let me see him, let me in" -She begged the girl in front of a group of people who blocked her way.
"Who are you?" -asked the doctor in an impersonal voice.
"I am his daughter! -How is my father, please tell me". -She approached the man in white who tried to calm her down.
"If you calm down, you can go in to see him. He is under observation. Don't make him agitated or make conversation,” the girl nodded to everything. Then the two of them walked and entered through a door that said: Do not pass. Restricted passage.
"I think I'm being followed!" -The girl motioned for him to be quiet:
“The doctor says you can't talk, Dad, please.” -She spoke to reassure him.
No. Really, ever since I fell, someone started following me. I think it's here, in the room,” he said desperately, and his eyes widened as wide as they could, looking from side to side. I knew she was talking about me and that it was the precise, just, punctual moment for her to see me, that her time had come, but what the girl said, stopped me:
"Calm down, daddy, please! I already lost my mother and I don't want to lose you,” she took the man's hands and with her hands, made the image of a prayer. Then I remembered the girl: that pained face was familiar to me. Then I decided to leave the room. I would have time to come back and show my face to the man. There would be time to catch up with him, but for now I would let him live.
All images are free of charge and the text is my own, translated in Deepl
I must say that this @agmoore Trapped re story was inspiration for my fiction story this week: death doesn't always win. Sometimes it leaves empty-handed.
Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends
![Click here to read in spanish]
El perseguidor
Desde el mismo momento que cayó por las escaleras, yo me puse a su lado. Incluso, antes de que llegaran los vecinos y llamaran a emergencia, yo estaba con él. Dentro de la ambulancia, en el traslado al hospital, con los paramédicos reanimándolo, lo miraba detenidamente, esperando cualquier señal de su cuerpo, de sus ojos, de su pecho.Luego, cuando lo llevaban por el largo pasillo de paredes blancas, yo también lo acompañé. La camilla hidráulica se deslizó rápidamente, por emergencia, llevada por médicos y enfermeras que corrían y controlaban los signos vitales. Como aquellos pasillos eran conocidos para mí, me detuve en una esquina a esperar y fue cuando escuché:
_¡Se nos va, se nos va!. –de manera precipitada conectaron aparatos, máquinas y yo volví a ponerme cerca de su costilla, del lado del corazón, para que me viera. Él abrió los ojos y por un momento pensé que me había visto. Sus ojos y su boca tenían la típica mueca de la sorpresa. A su alrededor un médico conectaba un desfibrilador y enviaba descargas eléctricas, una y otra vez a su pecho. Fue tan rápido el actuar de los que estaban allí, que vi cómo el pecho de él volvía a subir y a bajar, de manera, lenta, casi imperceptible, como si fuera un pequeño hilo de vida lo que cruzaba aquellos pulmones. Un pitido intermitente y líneas que subían y bajaban en el monitor que estaba conectado a él, me indicaban que debía esperar.
Más tarde, en la oscuridad de la habitación, mis manos frías y pálidas rozaron su frente y sentí que mi palidez y mi frialdad pasaban a él. Aquella sensación de poder me gustaba tanto, así que detuve mis manos en sus manos, como para que él tomara mis dedos, como para que se uniera a mí, como para se sujetara a mi presencia. Su pecho se agitó rápidamente y escuché el tropel de gente que entraba nuevamente a la habitación.
No vi cuando la chica que tiró los libros al piso, llegó. Su llanto desgarrador, me hizo voltear a verla. Creí haberla visto antes, pero dónde. En su cara estaba la sombra de la preocupación, pero también la de la tristeza. Preguntaba insistentemente:
_¡Por favor, déjenme verlo, déjenme entrar! –suplicaba la chica ante un grupo de personas que le impedía el paso.
_¿Quién es usted? –preguntó el médico con una voz impersonal.
_¡Soy su hija! –respondió con una voz afectada- Cómo está mi padre, por favor, dígame. –se acercó al hombre de blanco que intentó calmarla.
_Si se calma, podrá entrar a verlo. Está en observación. No lo haga agitar ni le saque conversación –la muchacha asentía a todo. Después, los dos caminaron y entraron por una puerta que decía: No pase. Paso restringido.
Ya dentro de la habitación, la muchacha le tomó las manos al hombre y él abrió los ojos. Lo primero que dijo fue:
_¡Creo que me están siguiendo! –la muchacha le hizo un gesto para que guardara silencio:
_El médico dice que no puedes hablar, papá, por favor. –habló para tranquilizarlo
_No. En serio, desde que me caí, alguien comenzó a seguirme. Creo que está aquí, en la habitación –expresó de manera desesperada y sus ojos se abrieron al máximo mirando de un lado a otro. Yo sabía que estaba hablando de mí y que era el momento preciso, justo, puntual para que me viera, que había llegado su hora, pero lo que dijo la chica, me detuvo:
_¡Cálmate, papito, por favor! Ya perdí a mi madre y no quiero perderte a ti –tomó las manos del hombre y con sus manos, hizo la imagen de un rezo. Entonces recordé a la muchacha: aquel rostro dolido, era conocido para mí. Entonces decidí marcharme de la habitación. Ya tendría tiempo de volver y mostrarle mi rostro a aquel hombre. Ya habría tiempo de alcanzarlo, pero por ahora lo dejaría vivir.
Thank you very much for your appreciation, friends. Happy and honored
What a powerful and heartbreaking story, @nancybriti1. That family has been through so much! I do love a good ghost story. And you kept that aspect of it a surprise in a very artful way.
Glad you liked it, @jayna. The best retribution for a writer is to get a comment like yours. Thank you, I appreciate it very much. Regards
Muy interesante el tratamiento que le das al personaje de la muerte. Al principio, cuando aún el lector no la ha identificado, surge la incógnita de quién es el misterioso personaje y que busca. Ya cuando las pistas que da el relato descubren su identidad, entonces queda la intriga de si esta vez se saldrá con la suya.
Un placer leerte. 🌷
Y para mí es un placer siempre leer tus comentarios y apreciaciones. Saludos
Thank you. That is the best thing an author can read, that a piece of writing inspired another author.
This story is wonderful. It has all the earmarks of a classic. The fading away, at the last minute, works beautifully. The best part is that death--impervious to emotion--is moved to mercy. And it is a believable transition.
Beautiful story.
First, thanks for inspiring me this week, @agmoore. Ever since I read your story, I felt that death doesn't always win. And second, exactly: I wanted to humanize death, make it sensitive to pain. I had another ending, but I liked that one. Thanks again and best regards
A story that surprised me a lot and that ending with death leaving the place. Very good work and excellent story that had many elements that made it very attractive.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Excellent Thursday.
Always grateful for your comments and reading, my friend. A nice Thursday to you
Huh, I thought a twist would come that it was the man's wife that he couldn't recognize, turns out to be death.