Creative nonfiction: The family brand/ La marca de la familia (ENG/ESP)
The family brand
I never knew to what extent this assertion, which they sometimes handled as if it were a joke, could bother my mother, since her fidelity to my father and his honor were called into question. What I do remember is that this statement bothered me a lot:
_This little girl is nothing like her father or anyone else in the family! -my aunts would say at any family gathering. I was too little to argue with an adult, so sometimes I kept quiet or at worst I would run away or crawl into my mother's skirts and cry.
As I grew older, I had to endure that when my father introduced my sisters and me as his daughters, there was no lack of someone who would say, indiscreetly, that the other three daughters (my sisters) looked like him and that I did not.
"Yes, this is the one who looks the least alike physically, but she is the only one who resembles me in character". -My dad always used to say, and I always wondered inside me, what could be the character, where do I have it, nobody can see it, only my dad.
My sisters were not far behind and always made me feel like the ugly duckling of the house, the different one:
"You don't have hair like us, our eyes are different, you're the shortest and palest of us all," they repeated every chance they got, and I must admit that in my childhood years I felt like a work of Picasso, Miró or Pollock: all of me was fragmented or distorted.
When I was in 4th grade I was selected to represent my class as queen of the school carnivals. My selection came as a surprise at home, especially to my sisters who had never been selected to participate in any beauty pageant. At first, my participation seemed like a bad idea, but my mother was so happy because I had been selected, that I preferred to accept everything quietly. Also because in one way or another I felt that I was no longer my sisters' shadow.
_Ready! You're beautiful! -said my mom with satisfaction. Without knowing how, I said quietly to my mom:
_Put a mole near my lip, mom! -Even though my mom looked at me with surprise, she took the eyebrow pencil and put a small circle on the corner of my upper lip.
Then she gave me the mirror to look at myself. I had never looked so beautiful and real in my life. That abstract and strange image I had of my face changed completely with that mole: with that mole I was identical to my father. So it was that in that instant, like the hero who puts on his cape or takes off his glasses, that mole made with eyebrow paint made me bring out my winning potential, more fierce and unstoppable.
Then I participated in the carnival reign and won: I took the crown. My family was in the audience and shouted my name. My dad shouted excitedly:
_That's my daughter, that's my daughter.
And I knew it was, I always knew I was his daughter, but I wanted no one to have any doubts.
All images are free to use and the text is my own, translated in Deepl.
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![Click here to read in spanish]
La marca de la familia
Por esas cosas que no logran tener explicación, desde que nací se creyó que mi padre, no era realmente mi padre biológico. Según mi familia, yo era demasiado blanca, con rasgos diferentes a los de la familia paterna, era muy pequeña y fina, de cabello ondulado y castaño oscuro, y porque muy especialmente, no tenía la marca de nacimiento que tenían todas mis primas y mis hermanas: un pequeño lunar en la comisura de la boca. Marca emblemática que tenía casi toda mi familia paterna.Nunca supe hasta qué punto esta aseveración, que manejaban a veces como si fuera chiste, pudiera molestarle a mi madre, ya que se ponía en duda su fidelidad a mi padre y su honra. Lo que sí recuerdo es que a mí, aquella afirmación, me molestaba mucho:
_¡Esta muchachita no se parece en nada al padre ni a nadie de la familia! –decían mis tías en cualquier reunión familiar. Yo era muy pequeña para discutir con un adulto, por lo que a veces me quedaba callada o en el peor de los casos salía corriendo o me metía entre las faldas de mi mamá y me ponía a llorar.
Lejos de parar con aquel disparate y dejando claro que algunas veces los adultos no obran de manera inteligente, repetían cada vez que podían que tal vez yo había sido adoptada, o alguien me había dejado abandonada en la puerta de la casa y madre me había recogido. Sus constantes bromas se convirtieron en un martillo para mis oídos de niña y una inquietud que me apretaba el pecho a toda hora.
Mientras iba creciendo, tuve que soportar que cuando mi padre nos presentaba a mis hermanas y a mí como sus hijas, no faltaba alguien que dijera, de manera indiscreta, que las otras tres hijas (mis hermanas) se parecían a él y que yo no.
_Sí, esta es la que menos se parece físicamente, pero es la única que se parece a mí en el carácter. –acotaba mi papá siempre y yo me preguntaba dentro de mí, qué será el carácter, dónde lo tengo, que nadie lo ve, solo mi papá.
A todas estas, mis hermanas no se quedaban atrás y siempre me hacían sentir el patito feo de la casa, la diferente:_¡Es que tú no tienes el cabello como nosotras! ¡Nuestros ojos son diferentes! ¡Eres la más bajita y pálida de todas!-repetían cada vez que podían y debo reconocer que en mis años de niña me fui sintiendo como una obra de Picasso, Miró o Pollock: toda yo estaba fragmentada o distorsionada.
Cuando estudiaba 4 grado fui seleccionada para representar mi salón como reina de los carnavales del colegio. Mi elección cayó de sorpresa en casa, especialmente a mis hermanas que jamás habían sido seleccionadas para participar en ningún concurso de belleza. Al principio, mi participación me pareció una mala idea, pero mi madre estaba tan feliz porque había sido seleccionada, que preferí aceptar todo calladamente. También porque de una u otra forma sentía que estaba dejando de ser la sombra de mis hermanas.
Recuerdo que el día del evento, antes de ponerme el vestido, mi madre comenzó a maquillarme con sus pinturas. Tomaba la paleta de colores e iba rozando mi rostro con las brochas y los pinceles. Con cada trazo de pintura se alejaba y se acercaba como si yo fuera un lienzo y ella un artista. Cuando terminó, sus ojos se iluminaron como si estuvieran viendo algo increíble:
_¡Listo. Quedaste hermosa! –afirmó mi mamá con satisfacción. Sin saber cómo, le dije bajito a mi mamá:
_¡Ponme un lunar cerca del labio, mamá! –aunque mi mamá me miró con sorpresa, tomó el lápiz de ceja y me puso un circulito pequeño en la comisura del labio superior.Luego me dio el espejo para que me mirara. En mi vida nunca me había visto tan bonita y real. Esa imagen abstracta y extraña que tenía de mi rostro, cambió completamente con aquel lunar: con aquel lunar era idéntica a mi papá. Fue así, que en ese instante, como el héroe que se pone su capa o se quita los lentes, aquel lunar hecho con pintura de ceja me hizo sacar mi potencial ganador, más feroz e imparable.
Entonces participé en el reinado de los carnavales y gané: me alcé con la corona. Mi familia estaba entre el público y gritaba mi nombre. Mi papá, gritaba emocionado:_Esa es mi hija, esa es mi hija.
Y yo sabía que sí, siempre supe que era su hija, pero quería que nadie tuviera dudas.
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I know how bad you must have felt. But your dad did a commendable thing trying to make you feel accepted in the family. Rejection is always hard to deal with, and worse when it comes from loved ones. Your dad also helped to ease up the harsh effects of the rejection on you. I hope that family issue is cleared up and your family wholeheartedly embraces you as one of them.
That memory remained in the past, although sometimes I remember it. Greetings and thanks for your comment
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Facing rejection or discrimination of any kind from loved ones is difficult to handle. I am glad that your dad was supportive. Nice one dear.
Yes, Dad always protected me from comments and always came to my defense. Greetings
An emotive, heartbreaking, and endearing #CNF, Nancy. As the reader we are drawn into your life. We sense your pain, and feel it. But we are elated and uplifted when, at the end, you wear that painted mole like a superhero, fully embracing the fact that you were always a fierce unstoppable spirit, and that the mole simply gave you the courage to shine.
Thank you for sharing a story from your life with The Ink Well.
Thanks to you for the opportunity and for the valuable comments that inspire us to continue. Regards
Beautifully written. I'm sorry you had to experience that as a child. Nobody should ever try to make a child feel as if they do not belong. Both of my children are adopted and myself and the rest of my family could not love them more if they were biologically related to us. Family is so much more than genetics. I am glad that you realised how strong and wonderful you were as a 4th grader. you put everyone to shame! And might I add that I think your parents are wonderful - insightful, caring, faithful 💗🙏 !LUV
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Indeed! My parents are the engine that makes my world go round. Greetings and thank you for your words.
Have you ever considered sharing your Hive posts in Dreemport? It is a pay-it-forward curation platform. You agree to read and rank 5 randomly assigned posts and then get the chance to share a link to one of your blog posts with the community, guaranteeing eyes on your content, and increasing engagement and support for your writing. It is a wonderful, supportive community. You earn Dreem tokens and playing cards for your curation and if you share at least 10 times during the month, you are invited to the monthly treasure hunt where fabulous prizes are available to be won. You can use the platform as often as you like Monday - Friday between 4 am and midnight UTC. If you are interested in finding out more about it, follow the link to the site and you can check it out in more detail. !LUV
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Thank you very much for this information! I would be interested. I'll check the publication. Regards
Lovely, I hope you find it useful for your blog. One point of clarification... you can only curate once a day and share 1 post a day but you may use the site any day of the week Monday-Friday. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be happy to help as I am an ambassador for Dreemport :-) If you would also like a link to a post explaining more about Dreemport, let me know and I will share one here for you.
Yes, please, I would like to read a post to see how the mechanism is. Gracias
Sure... you can read the following post by @dreemsteem who is the founder of Dreemport. Please note though that the menu items have changed a bit since this post so you will now find the curate and submit buttons under the Earn Dreem menu at the top of the Dreemport Homepage.
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I will share your recent Ink Well post in Dreemport this evening for you 🥰
It is quite painful how the family members make insensitive statements withput considering even dor once how it is going to shatter the person at the recieving end.
I am glad your father was not among those people and supported you all through. I felt pleasure to know that there was this life turning day in your life and you raised above everything thing.
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Thank you very much! I like to know that there are people who think differently from the common and are sensitive to issues, perhaps common, that go unnoticed, but that can hurt. Regards
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No one should go through that as a child, and I am glad your parents are proud of you, especially your dad. His joy is overwhelming .
Wherever he is, I know he is proud of me. Greetings
Yes, that's right.
This is beautiful, what a dotting and protective father who didn't want anyone to make his daughter feel less of who she is.
I enjoyed reading it.
#dreemerforlife
Having good parents makes a difference. Thanks for commenting. Regards
What a beautiful and touching story! A hug, @nancybriti1.
¡Qué bello y conmovedor relato! Un abrazo, @nancybriti1.
Thank you for your comment, @josemalavem. Hugs
Just because one is different physically does not mean one should not belong. It hurts when members of the same household are the ones to taunt.
#dreemerforlife
Exactly!!! I believe that families are not recognized by marks, but by love, blood, brotherhood and trust, support. Thank you for your comment
You're welcome
Good to know your father finally identified with you. It is also nice to know that you didn't let low self esteem( due to constant criticism) to win over your determination to participate in that beauty contest. Congrats, your father is so proud of you.
At the time I was a child, however, I felt I had to stop the teasing. Greetings
What an amazing write-up, that was awesome.
I will say going through all of that wasn't that easy, kudos to you.
I am delighted that your father was very proud of you.
Thanks for sharing this.
#dreemerforlife
Thank you for your comment and rating. Regards
You are welcome
Sometimes we just need a little spark to be assured of who we are, I'm happy that mole was a spark to give you the assurance that you were your father's daughter.
I enjoyed reading through your story, I'm happy to have stopped by from #dreemport 🥰.
Thank you very much for your comments. Regards
You're welcome 🥰
I'm so glad you finally found a way to gain acceptance. Did your sisters finally stop teasing???
Wonderful story, by the way :)
#dreemerforlife
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Yes, we are grown up, adults, and those things are in the past. Greetings
It's awesome that you have a good relationship with them now :) Sometimes those things never go away.
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This sounds more like a real story!
No one should undergo this type of family discrimination, it's one of the worst trauma that one can live with but in your aspect, I think you have got a beautiful and wonderful parents because they stood for you regardless of difference.
I believe everything happened for a reason, the universe wanted a unique to prove that difference doesn't matter at all! You're stronger than you are! You're a braver and you are unique! Just always remember that!
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Blessed is that mole that your mom painted on you, that brought everyone out of doubt. Have a happy day