Creative Nonfiction: Some things that cannot be forgotten/ Algunas cosas que no pueden olvidarse (ENG/ ESP)


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Some things that cannot be forgotten

There are things that one would like to forget but cannot. Memory is not lost at will. What we don't forget, we don't forget, even if we want to. It is then that we understand that memories are ghosts that haunt us and whisper in our ears that they are there, inside and outside of us, and that evil lurks in every corner of the world.

I was in my third semester at university and some professors already knew me for my academic performance. I was an outgoing, nice, studious and very friendly girl. I got along and shared with my classmates and my professors in equal measure. At that time, even though my father drove me to the university and picked me up in his car, I tried to share with them after class.

That third semester I had to take a subject that everyone was talking about in the course. The comments they made had to do not only with the content of the subject, but also with the character of the professor. Indeed, the professor was punctual and very demanding, as they had said, but I got to know a side of him that was little talked about, but that people knew about.


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As I loved to study, I excelled in that subject and as I did so, that teacher created a hurricane of hurtful feelings towards me in the classroom through his comments:

"Why don't you study, like Brito?" -asked the teacher in front of my classmates, who began to look at me with hatred and contempt.

"Learn from Brito who did an excellent exam and got the highest mark," he repeated every time he could, believing that those comments could flatter me, without realising (or did he know?) that they were rather embarrassing me and creating discord with my classmates.

Those disproportionate and inappropriate comments went from praising my academic performance to praising my physical characteristics:

"Here in this poem they speak of a beautiful black hair. I imagine it's hair like Brito's," the teacher said mischievously and looked at me, making my classmates turn to look at me, while I blushed and silently asked for a hole to open up under the desk and for the earth to swallow me up and carry me far away from the classroom.

"I was walking along and I stumbled, because I saw a very pretty girl standing in a corner and when I turned to see her: as I imagined, it was Brito who was in the corner," I pointed out for no reason, so out of order and without need, that my classmates began to spread the rumour that the teacher was in love with me.

Not only were these unhealthy rumours, but I also began to experience firsthand the rejection of my friends, who saw in me not the jovial classmate I had been until then, but a rival, an opportunist who tried to stand out and make them look bad in front of the teachers. The hours of conversation between one class and the next, between my classmates and me, dwindled and I began to feel relegated to a cold zone, in the eye of a hurricane that was blowing snow.


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After that, the worst happened. Because of my qualifications, the professor asked me to compete to be his assistant. All I had to do was present my credentials and although something inside me told me not to do it, I did. Then one day I was notified that I had won: I was to help the teacher in some classes and with the subject materials.

Although in every encounter between me and the teacher he made double-entendre comments, I tried to remain calm. Until once he asked me to come to his office after class. When I walked in, his look was a punch in the stomach.

"Sit down," he said, smiling, "We're going to work late.

"Excuse me, professor, but my dad is waiting for me outside. I thought we weren't going to be long.

"Why is your father waiting? -Why is your father waiting?" he asked annoyed, "Aren't you an adult? You're a woman, you're not a child, Brito. I'm sure you even have a boyfriend. Do you have a boyfriend, Brito? -he asked quietly as if he was afraid the walls would hear him. I shook my head in the negative. Then he asked again:

"How could a pretty girl like you not have a boyfriend?" -I felt that his words were meant to corner me, and it set my teeth on edge. Without thinking too much and acting instinctively, I looked him straight in the eye and said in a trembling voice:

"Professor, I think you are disrespecting me with your questions. It's very scary for me to be here. What's more, you scare the hell out of me. So excuse me, but I must go, and tomorrow I will resign," the professor's face was petrified in a grimace of rage, surprise and fear. The hunter had been discovered.

The name of that professor doesn't matter, because he could have been one of many wolves in the forest, what is genuinely important is that sometimes that memory assaults my memory like a ghostly echo that tells me that I haven't forgotten that event. Then I ask myself: why is forgetting not voluntary? Why are there memories that show their teeth and you feel the bite as if you were living it all over again?

All images are free of charge and the text is my own, translated in Deepl.

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Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends


![Click here to read in spanish]
Algunas cosas que no pueden olvidarse
Hay cosas que uno quisiera olvidar y no puede. La memoria no se pierde a voluntad. Lo que no se olvida, no se olvida, aunque queramos. Es entonces cuando entendemos que los recuerdos son fantasmas que nos persiguen y nos susurran al oído que están allí, dentro y fuera de nosotros, y que el mal acecha en cualquier rincón del mundo.
Cursaba mi tercer semestre en la universidad y ya algunos profesores me conocían por mi desempeño académico. Era una muchacha extrovertida, simpática, estudiosa y muy amigable. Congeniaba y compartía con mis compañeros de clase y con mis profesores en igual medida. En esa época, aunque mi padre me llevaba a la universidad y me recogía en su carro, intentaba compartir con ellos al salir de clases.

Ese tercer semestre tuve que cursar una asignatura de las que todos hablaban en la carrera. Los comentarios que hacían no solo tenían que ver con el contenido de la materia, sino también con el carácter del profesor. Efectivamente, el profesor era puntual y muy exigente, como habían dicho, pero yo conocí un lado del que poco hablaban, pero que la gente conocía.
Como amaba estudiar, me fui destacando en aquella materia y a medida que lo fui haciendo, aquel profesor fue creando en el salón de clases, a través de sus comentarios, un huracán de sentimientos dañinos hacia mí:
_¿Por qué no estudian, como Brito? –preguntaba el profesor frente a mis compañeros que empezaron a verme con odio y desprecio.
_Aprendan a Brito que hizo un excelente examen y sacó la nota más alta –repetía cada vez que podía creyendo que aquellos comentarios podían halagarme, sin darse cuenta (¿o sí lo sabía?) que más bien me apenaba y me creaba discordia con mis compañeros.
Aquellos comentarios desproporcionados e inoportunos, pasaron de elogiar mi desempeño académico, a alabar mis características físicas:
_Aquí en este poema se habla de una hermosa cabellera negra. Imagino que será una cabellera como la de Brito –decía de manera pícara el profesor y me miraba, haciendo que mis compañeros voltearan a verme, mientras que yo sonrojada pedía en silencio que se abriera un agujero debajo del pupitre y la tierra me tragara y me llevara lejos del salón de clases.
_Yo venía caminando y tropecé, porque vi una muchacha muy bonita que estaba parada en una esquina y cuando voltee a verla: como lo imaginaba, era Brito la que estaba en la esquina –apuntaba sin ningún motivo, tan fuera de orden y sin necesidad, que mis compañeros empezaron a correr el rumor de que aquel profesor estaba enamorado de mí.
No solo fueron esos rumores malsanos, también empecé a vivir en carne propia el rechazo de mis amigos, quienes vieron en mí, no la compañera de clases jovial que había sido hasta ese momento, sino una rival, una oportunista que trataba de sobresalir y hacerlos quedar mal frente a los profesores. Las horas de conversación entre una clase y otra, entre mis compañeros y yo, fueron disminuyendo y yo fui sintiéndome relegada a una zona fría, en el ojo de un huracán que expulsaba nieve.
Después de aquello se produjo lo peor. Debido a mis calificaciones, el profesor me pidió que concursara para ser su ayudante. Solo debía presentar mis credenciales y aunque algo dentro de mí decía que no lo hiciera, lo hice. Entonces un día me notificaron que había ganado: debía ayudar al profesor en algunas clases y con los materiales de la materia.
Aunque en cada encuentro entre el profesor y yo él hacía comentarios de doble sentido, yo intentaba mantener la calma. Hasta que una vez me pidió que fuera a su oficina luego de clases. Al entrar, su mirada fue un golpe en el estómago.
_Siéntate -me dijo sonriendo- Vamos a trabajar hasta tarde.
_Disculpe, profesor, pero mi papá me está esperando afuera. Pensé que no íbamos a tardar mucho.
_ ¿Por qué tu padre está esperando? –preguntó molesto- ¿Acaso tú no eres una persona adulta? Ya eres una mujer, no eres una niña, Brito. Seguro que hasta tienes novio. ¿Tienes novio, Brito? –preguntó bajito como si tuviera miedo que las paredes lo escucharan. Yo moví la cabeza de manera negativa. Entonces volvió a preguntar:
_¿Cómo una joven tan bonita como tú no tiene novio? –sentí que sus palabras buscaban acorralarme y me puso los dientes de punta. Sin pensarlo mucho y actuando de manera instintiva, lo miré a los ojos fijamente y dije con voz temblorosa:
_Profesor, creo que me está faltando el respeto con sus preguntas. Estar aquí me da mucho miedo. Es más, usted me da mucho miedo. Así que disculpe, pero debo irme y mañana pongo la renuncia –la cara del profesor quedó petrificada en una mueca de rabia, sorpresa y miedo. El cazador había sido descubierto.
El nombre de aquel profesor no importa, porque pudo ser uno entre tantos lobos que hay en el bosque, lo genuinamente importante es que a veces ese recuerdo asalta mi memoria como un eco fantasmal que me dice que no he olvidado aquel suceso. Entonces me pregunto: ¿por qué el olvido no es voluntario? ¿por qué hay recuerdos que te enseñan los dientes y tú sientes la mordedura como si nuevamente lo estuvieras viviendo?






























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12 comments
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Hmmm.... This was a bad one. I have seen so many lecturers behaved this way. Infact, I can say they have relegated themselves to the last levels.

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As a teacher, I find it distressing that some people use their positions of power to take advantage of innocent people. Greetings and thank you for commenting

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Wow....
You were supposed to be a forbidden fruit to the professor. Most times, girls may not seem what appear.
In all, it was a pretty bad experience.

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Traumatic. Thank God the worst didn't happen. Thank you for reading and commenting.

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(Edited)

It was a situation a very difficult situation with the teacher. These situations always happen in schools and universities. Luckily the matter wasn't more serious and it all ended there. Of course, the memory remains latent.

Good day.

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It is very sad that such experiences are more frequent than one would imagine. Thank you for reading and commenting. Good day to you

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What an awkward situation!
I remember something similar happened to a college classmate. We had a professor who drooled over her, and the worst part was that he didn't even hide it and we all noticed. I still remember the awkward look on that girl's face.

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What is worse is that some students are afraid to accuse these teachers for fear of reprisals and the teachers, time and again, engage in these offences. Thanks for commenting, my friend

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Your piece is brilliant, not only because it is searingly personal, but because it is so universal. That story can be repeated thousands, millions of times across the globe. But, it would likely not be repeated with such effectiveness.

Thank you for this eloquent description of your personal experience, @nancybriti1

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May we build a world in which cases like this never happen again. Greetings and thank you for your support.

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Hello @nancybriti1,

We have all been there, or many of us. Not your specific experience, but the spider spinning his web and trying to ensnare us. Always when we are young and not sophisticated enough to mount an adequate defense.

Your piece is brilliant. Thank you.

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Indeed: without realising it, we fall into the net without realising it. Thank you for your comment and support. A thousand thanks

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