Things we must learn from the mistakes of our elders
When I say things we learn from our elders, what I exactly mean is things we learn from the mistakes of the old people in our home. One of my old aunt was unwell last week and she had some serious health conditions. She has 2 daughters of who one stays with her and another one a building away. The one who stays along with her staying in the same home also lives in her own world and she is not aware that her mother's condition is getting bad. When the 2nd daughter visited her, she saw her mother's condition was bad and finally took her to the hospital for treatment. These are very common cases that we get to hear where children do not take good care of their parents and are just absorbed in their own life. I feel sad for such parents and children both.
The problem here with my aunt is that she is not very well off financially and to even look back at her life, she has live it very mindlessly and never really thought of her future times security. When I look at her life, the first thing that I always keep in mind is to be financially independent for your old age life and for that we need to start planning right from the time we are young, because money is not going to drop from air suddenly when we get old.
Having a proper health plan, saving money for day to day expenses and medical expenses are all part of old age which needs to be planned for. This also is a problem in our culture, that parents feel that when they get old it will be their children's responsibility to look after them in every way. I personally do not believe in this ideology. Yes, it will be good if children will take care, but setting that expectation and not doing enough for yourself when you can is a wrong attitude.
Everyone gets old, but that does not mean that we have to be dependent at that age on our children. After all they will also have their life and family to take care off, so why add more burden on them.
For my aunt, she and her husband both did work for all their lives, but they never had any concepts of saving. They would spend away everything they would earn, buying new fancy things and all which is not a necessity and then complaint they do not have enough finance. Now they are in their 70s and both of them are not in good health and even financially weak, they cannot even work now with their conditions. They do receive a lot of help but then is that how one should live their life.
Lack of money and ill health can make old age very miserable and both can be avoided by working from a very young age by investing financially and by investing in your own health by taking good care of it. When you are careless towards both then you also need to bear the consequences. Old age should be lived with dignity and not with the feeling of helplessness and dependability and for that we need to start preparing and planning from a very early stage in life. Our old age should not be a burden for the children, it should be like a blessing where we can be a part of their lives in good ways and being helpful for them. Old age is not suffering, it is about slowing down, relaxing, enjoying, pursuing your hobbies and dreams for which you did not have time.
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That's a fact naina ji, one should think about his
old age while they are young. I feel very sad as I always hear people live separately and keep their parents away from them.
Not many children want to stay with their parents these days, the whole culture in India is also changing and so it is all the more important for us to be mindful about our future and old age.
absolutely right, our decisions in life are crucial day by day
Thank you
I agree with you! Learning is a usual or normal part of life from learning from the mistakes especially done by our elders, but not only elders, we can learn from our friends or colleagues too.So basically it depends upon you, how you choose to be, learn by doing those mistakes again or not doing them but learning a lot. This is a really nice idea. Thankyou for sharing these kind of lovely and intellectual posts.!
That's right, we can learn these lessons of life from everyone around us and it is important that we do bring changes in our life looking at other people's mistakes
Actually, it is not the fault of some people for not being financially independent at old age but at the same time, it is a very good thing to be financially independent at old age
It helps a lot
That's very true, there are some people who have not had the opportunity of doing it due to their poor financial status even in their younger days, and that's a very sad part. But then there are many who are very mindless towards their life and never think much about the future times, specially the old age and this is problematic.
Unfortunately a lot of people operate based on the concept of earning 1 and spending 2 (currency to be added) or spending before earning. However, there is one thread that is simple and yet so difficult for the majority to adhere to: it's discipline! It applies to health, financials, you name it.
The facilities of Credit Cards are luring and they tempt people to spend the money they do not possess and then land in situations of debt.
Very true discipline of saving is important right from younger days. Finance people still take it seriously but health has to go a long way.
Some people, in their youth, see old age as as far off. It's not a reality for them. They lack the imagination to understand what it is to be poor and dependent. For other people, old age haunts them, all their lives. They cannot live in the present because they fear poverty in old age. And then there is a class of people who understand the reality of old age, but have so few resources they cannot save enough to provide for those years.
We can't paint with a broad brush, but should, as you say learn from observing our elders. Enjoy the present, but prepare for the future. And if you do not have enough resources to save for those years, pray that fortune smiles on you.
Very well said, it's a broad spectrum and not everyone falls in one basket, but when we know a certain person well then we understand their life patterns and that's where we can learn from. Like I mentioned, my aunt and her husband both were well off in their younger days and earned good together, but they never had a strong concept and discipline of saving. Also their patterns of spendings were all wrong, they would spend on luxury things and not save for their future, thinking that they have 2 daughters and they will take care of them. Such ideologies in today's time are very unrealistic.
You are right or your contant brilliant
These are lessons that we ought to heed and make sure we don't repeat the same thing. I think it's important and necessary to plan for the future while we're young and not be overly fixated on the present. It's kind of sad that people nowadays are so engrossed in their own world that they become oblivious to what's happening around them
Life has also become so much fancier now and glamorous that people get lured to spend, thinking that they still have time to save and they never realize how time flies and they are never then able to save enough to last for all those years in which they will not be working.
Exactly, it's like there are more distractions now and we often get so engrossed in the present that we forget to consider the future and planning for it. Sometimes, it's better to just zoom out and see the big picture of life itself.
a thoughtprovoking and touching topic, Nainu.
You're right, parents shouldn't become a problem for their kids, at least they must try to avoid it.
It has to be a happy relationship. Old age does not mean dependency and helplessness. Rather old people should help the younger generation with their wisdom of life.
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This fits right into the philosophy "Learn from the mistakes of others. You may not live long enough to make them all yourself."
In older times, the concept of saving wasn't popular. And that is why many elderly are dependent on their children. That being said, there is no excuse for blowing money up into things that are not required. Saving wasn't popular, but the option of investment in gold and others was there. I feel bad for your aunt, but she taught us all a valuable lesson.
Hoping that the world is kind enough to look after her and her spouse.
☮️ 💟
True, there were not many investment options and also the ease of doing it. Securing for old age is so important to be not dependent on anyone.