Flowing into emotions

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Few weeks back when I was in Mumbai, this happened. I was in the locality of my childhood home. Me and my sister sold off our childhood home after my dad passed away in 2000. Somehow we always felt that the home did not have good vibes and it had brought lot of pain into our lives, it had brought lot of pain to my father's life also. He never was happy in his life and so were we in that home. When he was alive and we were very young, we yet insisted him to sell of that home and shift to another place, but he had strong attachment to it, since it was his childhood home and he had his fond memories of that place with his parents, he always refused. But when he passed away me and my sister decided to give up that home since we always had this feeling that it was a very unlucky home for all of us.

Since we grew up there, we had some of our friends still staying there, and often I visited at the building, but I never wanted to see my house. I would feel that looking at it also I may get some bad vibes back in my life again, so much of pain I have had in that home that it kind of haunted me for a very long time. In the last few years I have been having these thoughts of breaking this taboo that I had in my mind. My home kept appearing in my dream as if it was calling me, and the thoughts just kept going on in my mind all the time.

Finally this time, I thought of confronting my own fears and take a look at my home. It's been so many years and all those people I knew have also left the building now. When I went there I saw all new faces and they were also giving me a strange look. They thought I was lost over there and asked me if I needed help and I politely refused not telling them anything much.

We had sold our home to one person who wanted to use it as a warehouse for stocking up his goods. Previously when I would visit the building from far I would see the door open but I never had the courage to come up to the door. This time when I gathered the courage to visit, the door was closed. But as I stood there in front of it all I had was tears rolling down. I had this sudden break down and I wanted to go inside, but it was locked. When I lived here it was an open verandah and the whole home looked so different, but now the person who bought it has covered up everything and sadly I could not even get a little glimpse of my home.

The ground floor home with the black locked door was my home at once upon a time. When I look at this place, I value how far I have come in life. At the same time I strongly believe that one must never forget their roots. Though mine were not very strong but yet this was my reality at once upon a time, and whenever I think of it all I feel is humbled with the life that I have now.
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It was not a wrong decision to sell of this place, the building has become very old and the locality has also gone very bad. You can see how bad shaped it is now, the building has all supports so that things do not fall off.
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However far I may come in life but this is also one reality of my life which I will never forget and I am so grateful to the Universe and my God to get me out of this and bringing better things to me.

Thank you for visiting my blog. 👼🏻👼🏻💖💖🌹🌺🌸

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20 comments
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Good afternoon my brother and greetings to you this afternoon. Quite a good article that my friend has shown.

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It is always difficult to live in a place full of memories, sometimes it is necessary to make difficult choices to leave bad memories behind and start life anew.

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Attachment se detachment ka safar kabhi bhi asaan nahi hota.. sahi kaha aapne aisi jagah phirse dekh bhi lo to ajeeb si negativity gher leti hai. Ye wakai ek asaan sa dikhne wala magar behad mushkil kaam raha hoga par aage badhna aur badhte rehna jaruri hai. :)

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Specially when it has been your house where you are born and raised up it's never easy to give up on it

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Sach mein meri to aisi koi yaadein bhi nahi hain phir bhi apne purane Ghar ke aage se bhi guzarta hoon to lagta hai jaise wo mujhe hi dekh raha hai. Matlab bahut ajeeb feeling hoti hai.

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Wow
It’s sad that you could not even see a glimpse of your home
Sorry about it but one thing is for sure that you’re living a better life than before
!LADY

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Ya, the house stays closed most of the time now, unless when the trader wants to remove or put his goods

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Kudos to your commitment and devotion, relentless drive, and perseverance to expand your consciousness and step into your higher power thus turning your dreams into reality!

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Thank you my dear, the journey has been not very easy but when I look back I realize how far I have come and how rewarding it has been with all the self-work that I have done.

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My dear Sis, so touching post..
I wanna hug you and give all my warmth now!
I do understand your feelings.
It's great you managed to step over your fears and look into your past memories and pain. it's like you've closed them forever and move on stronger and happier.

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Thank you my love, I do not know if I have closed them forever, because a part of there is still there in my thoughts and I am living with it, not that it's harassing me but it constantly reminds me of from where I have come

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It is very brave to face your fears, besides filling you with that humility that you reflect in that one should never forget one's roots, a big hug.

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