EXHAUSTED

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“Hahaha, dream is not easy as you think”

I’m just talking to myself and by the way, I laughed at my naivety.

I don’t think there's still sweat to quench to feel alive again. I’m not sure that tears when alone could help to ease the draining feeling inside. I thought just by dreaming something, time and fate could follow. However, I was a fool to believe that once you did your best everything would be alright. Again, I was stupid to believe that.

Physically, of course, I’m okay. I could smile whenever I want to; I could be super active when it should be. I could tell myself that it’s alright when actually it’s really not. I remember when I was a child when I couldn’t take the tiredness anymore, I just cried. Now that I'm an adult, all I could hope is I can but sadly, I can not because it’s embarrassing if I would do so. Well, I’m not sure but I hate it that I’m exhausted but I must keep going.

True, a dream is not impossible to reach but no one tells me it gets harder when it’s coming to happen. Falsely believe that it will for sure be achieved by just hard work and dedication. I had no idea this could be hard, even though I can rest when it’s time to sleep. I always have a messed up mind, it can easily be disrupted. I'm not like the others who can handle their emotions easily; For me it takes longer and I wanted to free myself before it could be healed. I just don’t understand what I’m feeling right now. I’m just pretending to be fine because I thought that’s how it should be.

Drain. Weary. These are what I’m feeling right now. Nothing’s going on specifically, but it seems I have no strength to remain my head up high and to hold my shoulder stand. That’s why we are all slaves to what we want in life.

Thank you for reading

All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.

ABOUT ME

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Paul was born in Macrohon, Southern Leyte but currently living in Cahayag, San Francisco Southern Leyte. He graduated the course of a BS Mar-E or Bachelor of Science in Marine Engineering in 2019. Although writing is his passion so instead of sailing he decided on writing.

He writes occasionally about random stuff he would see in the outside world. He loves to express what he feels through writing because he's not good at speaking personally.

He also writes fictional stories and emotions because he thinks life matters. He is hoping that his words could reach someone who might be feeling down.

Join me and support me through my adventures not just to the world but also to the human minds not to hate being alive.

You can find me here:

Medium
discord - mrnightmare89#2161
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instagram

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