Single Parenthood Is Avoidable
Single parenting is when a parent single-handedly brings up a child without a partner. It is not a piece of cake to bring up a child. A single parent. This problem could happen to men and women but the proportion of affected persons is women. This means that many men have refused to take responsibility for what they ought to be responsible for. Speaking as an African child, the number of single parents has increased around the globe in recent times. This is a dangerous signal to all and sundry on the need to tutor the upcoming generation on the beauty of marriage that would take a mature man and woman to have and cherish.
However, a lot of causes have been adjudicated to be responsible for single parenthood in our world today. Let's see some of the causes of single parenting as explained below.
Death of one partner
This is one unexpected cause of single parenting. When a partner dies suddenly, leaving the responsibility of two individuals to one person which then becomes a task that warrants help from different quarters. Since no one prepares for death, especially in new marriages, the other couple has to bear the brunt of taking care of the child or children that have been produced in such a marriage. This is one major cause of single parenting across the globe.
Divorce
When two elephants fights, the grass suffers.
Divorce Is an approach to end a sour marriage which in most cases involves a legal team or marriage counselor.
Disagreement between a couple could disintegrate into divorce and in the middle of all that, the offspring suffers it. However, in our bid to make a point in our marriage relationship, we should not stoop so low to divorce.
Divorce most times is not to the benefit of the children. Hence, in some cases, the partners would have agreed to go their separate ways despite that they have had children.
Absentee Parent
Some parents usually stay away from home due to the nature of their jobs or because they want to avoid responsibility. Since parenting involves two persons, the husband, and wife, leaving one of the partners to take the responsibilities of both partners becomes an act that could lead to single parenting.
It takes two to tango.
It is believed that the place of the mother and father in bringing up a child who becomes a good citizen of the larger society is sacrosanct. Anything short of this may hurt the child or the other partner.
Pre-Marital Child Bearing / Unmarried Couples
One of the factors that have resulted in the high rate of single parenthood in our time is childbearing out of wedlock. Many unmarried couples who had been involved in a relationship before marriage, who never had the plan to settle down permanently as couples, where pregnancy and childbearing get involved, may end up being single parents.
The above are some of the known causes of single parenting. This has also indicated that children who are brought up by single parents have the highest proportion of involvement in social vices in society. Let's look at some other effects or consequences that could evolve from single parenting.
Indiscipline
Some of the children who are brought up by a single parent may become grossly undisciplined. They are usually pampered especially when the parent is a woman. Though, some single parents handle their wards like it were the father and mother that are still in the marriage, the percentage of such is very low.
It is also very important to note that the statistics of children who grow up with a single end up becoming single parents too.
A typical example is that a girl child who grew up under a mother as a single parent may not be able to settle for marriage and be under a man. The percentage of this case is high.
Usually, when a father and mother are charged with the responsibility to discipline their ward but when one of the partners is away from the marriage, there may be a space for misconduct for the child.
Loneliness
The single parent may feel lonely because the partner who is no more in the relationship serves a purpose. For the child or children, the place of one of his or her parents will be greatly missed.
Finance
In marriage, the two partners are responsible to themselves. The finance involved in taking care of the responsibility of the home is one the two but now, it has become the responsibility of one partner or parent.
Apart from the foregoing, there maybe some positive effects of single parenting. Some of the positive effects of single parenting are as follows:
° Parental Responsibility.
° Maturity.
° Strong bond between the child/children with the parent.
° Sense of Commitment by the parent.
Single parenting can be avoided or managed. This could become the solution to single parenting.
Tolerance
Marriage is all about tolerance. We should know that the two persons coming to for a new home where peace and tranquility is expected from two different individuals. Hence, their sense of reasoning will not be the same. But in the relationship, one partner ought to accept the other and bear their excesses so as to avoid a broken home which ends up in single parenting.
This also explains the fact that single parenting is avoidable. Partners should not consider managing a home alone because outright danger is imminent.
Psychological Maturity
An individual must be mature in the mind and body before considering a romantic relationship. To be able to handle such differences that could lead to single parenting, a partner must be fully prepared for the challenges that comes with marriage.
Marriage and childbearing is not meant for children. One must be mature to enter into any such romantic relationship and responsibility. Hence, the home, family and society at large should not close eye on any sort of unholy relationship that could lead to pre-marital childbearing and thereby result in single parenting.
Third-Party Support
This is not the best solution because bringing a third party into a romantic relationship is not advisable, partners should be able to settle their difference amicably. In the case of death of one of the partners, there are non-governmental organizations that support parents who are confronted with such challenges.
Sometimes, religious organizations also help out. Programmes are designed to help the single parent not to feel the consequences surrounding single parenting.
Family members of the other partner may be directly involved with the education and upkeep of the child that was produced from the marriage, whether legal or otherwise.
Conclusion
Marriage or childbearing is a responsibility that must be taken with respect to individual differences and with humility. To reduce the rate of broken homes that leads to single parenting, individuals must see their partners as a work in progress.
Since no one is perfect, our marriages/relationships should be handle as a fragile object so that it does not get broken.
The parents may just just feel lonely but their child or children involved would. This is why they needed the supports of others just to make them feel at home or to calve out loneliness from their world
Exactly.
Single parenthood is not something that anyone should pray for. The best way is to avoid a broken marriage or relationship.
Yes, is not what anyone should pray for the best way is to avoid it, but what if it could not be managed
Many people are going through hell all in the name of marriage what if you as a wife or husband is trying your best to avoid it and your partner is not helping matter in that situation what can we do?
Men should just wake up to their responsibility and not to enter into a romantic relationship when they are not ready for the challenges.
I'll be glad if all sleeping men will be awake and stand to their feet and take the responsibilities that belongs to them because I wondered why some of them will start family that they can't sustain
The issues of indiscipline is often seen with children of single parent, because some of them lack the father figure in their life's and end up lacking some manners.
Very true.
In the bud not to make the child feel dejected, the mother would have to pacify him/her and in the process, they are spoilt and become mannerless.
I definitely agree with you that marriage is about tolerance. If couples can learn to coexist and be more accommodating, they can avoid single parenting, except in case of death, life threatening situations or by mutual consent to go separate ways
Except for these cases you mentioned, marriage is a school where the partners never graduate. You get to learn every passing day.
That title got me curious until I read and I like how you approach the topic.
A work in progress, no doubt but not many are able to tolerate it and they end up making their kids suffer the aftermath.
Well done, thanks for participating 💯
Thank you so very much for finding this piece truly educating. I'm super glad to participate.
Thank you for always.
It's better not to get it wrong from the onset. Bearing the burden of single parenting can be trouble
It can be serious trouble.
You are right, This rate of single parenting is increasing day by day and truly many men out there are not ready to take responsibility many of them are running for their responsibility, I wonder why some of them start what they cannot finish or did they think having family is easy
It's time the male folks stop causing more problems in an already troubled world.
Honestly because they are causing problems
Parents staying together "for the sake of the children" is incredibly unhealthy. If we show our children that abuse should be tolerated then what kind of decisions will they make about their own lives later? I know plenty of single parents, myself included that we're far better off alone than spending years in something soul destroying. My mother left it far too long and my sister and I were so traumatized as a result.
If we keep finding faults, then we won't be able to tarry long in a union. However, an abusive relationship is in no way admirable.
We ought to teach our wards the basic truth, that challenges abound in every aspect of life, marriage inclusive but that they can be better when they are able to tolerate their partner.
This is the more reason that I state in the post that marriage or a romantic relationship is meant for individuals who are psychologically prepared for the challenges that comes with such a union.
Our wards however should know their rights and stand for it anytime, anywhere.
Life changes and so do people. We often start out with the best intentions, but the truth is the only constant in life is change and some people simply grow apart. Unfortunately, the process is rarely a pretty one.
Single parenting isn't easy and should be avoided if it is possible. That's why divorce should be discouraged.
It is a complex issue. Some people started perfectly but parties changed along the line. I can say couples should always try and find a common ground to resolve issues and when they are reaching the peak of growing apart, the whole thing should be ended.
Well said.
Marital relationship should be a for life affair. It is not a ground for competition and both parties have to understand that.