Second Thoughts

Things aren't good, I haven't felt so much regret before today, and never been in so much distress and anxiety like today. Seems like everything backfiring me, even the tiniest step that I had taken with goodwill is proving to be the wrong step that is stuck beneath my foot. I can feel the pinch every second I am taking a new step, not even sure how to remove that needle that is stuck. I have always felt like the road is bumpy so the same goes for everyone, gotta do some struggle to overcome this, but it's taking an eternity, yeah we the human beings are more restless than anything.

Here, we are surviving barely, life has become lifeless, and we are running to meet our survival needs. Every step outside is bound with a threat of being harmed, some for no reason and some for standing up against oppression. See? This is a place which used to be always crowded. Hangouts with friends and families, business meetings, and so on. Even the last time I visited was with my family here for an important occasion which will be remembered forever. This time it could've been the same but the situation outside was not good so I had to go alone to pick up the things that were inevitable right that moment, no excuse for the will of a sick person.

On the streets there are hundreds fighting for their demands, hundreds to prevent them, abiding by the orders from above. Apart from these, there are hundreds who aren't into any of these but still, they fall victim to the chaos as they don't have any choice other than to go out to earn their daily bread and butter. They have their families to feed, they have their duties to fulfill, and they have their survival instincts to follow. While doing so many are paying for what they haven't got engaged in.

Being a men isn't easy, as long as you don't have any ties of people relying on you, you can fly as much as you want, you can be carefree as much as you want, your hot blood doesn't get cold with anything but it keeps boiling on and on. But once you are tied with responsibilities like a family to feed, and few people that are nothing without you, your hands start shaking before taking those reckless steps that were once as easy as blinking an eye. But now they take hundreds of thoughts of what the consequences might be, not for him, but for the people that are gonna suffer after him. Still, there are a few that are none, leaving everything to the Almighty. It is a matter of sorrow that the ratio of such braves is rare, unfortunately, I am not one of them. I have thoughts, second thoughts, and even more before doing something. that may pose a threat to my close ones.

There was a time when I used to be carefree about anyone because I had the means to tackle. I can do that even now but the chaos it's gonna create is not good for me anymore. Also, I used to be proud of myself that I don't have any enemies but not anymore, there aren't any direct enemies but I do know there are many who would like to extract unethical benefits if they see me stuck in something bad. Yeah, as we grow up, things start to get really complex, for some it stays simple and easy as they have made and for some, it keeps getting more and more complex with time. And so, to handle those complex equation

The transition from living carefree to living for others is not easy. Let's just pray and hope that we can fulfil the responsibilities as well as perform the instincts that we are bound to do. I might be losing rhythm in this one, might be getting blurry over a few things, right? That's what the picture of having some ties from the back that compels us to have second thoughts and take our steps carefully.

Have a great day,
Take Care!!