Loving does not mean accepting everything but rather growing together

Love is forgiveness. A lot.

In a couple, there may be argues, there may be fights, there may be indications on how to improve and discussions about it when a part of the couple does not recognize it.

Taking pride apart, that’s muuuuuuch an effort, we are aiming to do our best to the other person try to make him/her evolve under some perspectives and circumstances.

Source: Author. Me and Mary in Malaga, Spain, last year

Anyway, forgiveness does not mean “passively acceptance”.

Forgiving means accepting faults and limits of the other person while actively trying to challenge them.

Passively acceptance on the long term leads to become resistant to self-evolution to self-challenges as now being challenged in a couple creates the inertial attitudes.

That’s why the phrase from Peter Ustinov is a holy idea
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." –

Source: Author. Me and Mary at Cabo da Raso, Portugal, last year

Being lover means being a friend, a supporter, a mirror, a stimulus, a trigger, a challenger, a team-worker, a leader and so on.
A couple is made of an ineffable balance ruled by human polarity between Man and Woman, respectively the YANG and YIN part of the couple.

They have different perspectives, they have different point of view and different way to interpret the same aspects.

In my case for example, me and Mary have found a great balance in our behaviours with me being more focused on the efficiency of the couple and the aspirations while Mary is more focused on the armonious part, being much patient and accepting also many challenges I send her.

Much patient

Source: Author. Me and Mary on her surprise trip to Ravenna for her birthday

But still, even on my side I have to accept many things that are not done in a proper way or sometimes even in a dumb way. So I must be patient as well to keep the evolution going.

Still, forgiveness is a matter of patience but also humility as many times, what we see wrong in the other person is just a reflection of what is wrong in ourselves meaning that we have to remember that

Source: Author. Me and Mary on the road to Calabria a few weeks ago

when we point a finger against a person we have 3 more fingers pointing against us

That’s why I love this quote from Peter Ustinov with and “active forgiveness” interpretation of it, making the whole couple growing: on an individual basis and also on a couple basis.