The Tale Of A "Childhood Fear" That Shaped My Adulthood

Childhood days are always one we look back to from time to time especially when present situations warrant them. I have numerous tales to tell about my childhood but for the sake of the prompts, I'll be sharing a particular fear I faced during childhood, overcame and has been helping me all this while to who I am becoming.

Like my mum would always say, "It's normal to be afraid but it isn't normal to let your fear hold you back for too long". I didn't have this knowledge at the time I was faced with the fear that changed my life.

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I wouldn't want to share this if it was some years ago as I felt ashamed of the fact that I actually let fear keep me from becoming who I can be much earlier than I did. Fear is a very dangerous thing and I say that from my many experiences with it, I've had fears I overcame within minutes and the ones I've had to live with for a while.

After conquering a fear, another suffices and it goes on and on like that but over time, I've learned to expect and conquer fear much earlier than I did in the past. One fear I can never forget how it overcame me before I overcame it was when I was around 9 years old.

I think it is safe to call me a perfectionist growing up, I wanted everything to at least be near perfect and it was also like that for my studies too. I grew up as a very intelligent girl and to keep that level I found myself, I feared failure in whatever study I was involved in so I liked any time I get to study my books.

Do people fear failure? Of course they do, imagine a little kid being afraid of failure in her studies.

My first failure in a subject sent me to a phase in life I couldn't get out easily, I found myself thinking I'm a complete failure because of that one simple fail that was definitely out of my control. I had no one to tell me I didn't have to bother about that fail since I did well with the others and that I'll get better.

I just suck up to my failure, cried my eyes out and studied harder for whatever subject I sensed would make me waver in writing the exams. To be honest, this had a negative effect on me in many other regards, I began to see failure in too many things to want to try out for success possibilities.

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It only got worse in me as I kept being afraid of failure, sometimes it even shows in my losing weight since I tend not to eat when I know I'm at a disadvantage with an incoming failure. I held back from starting so many things back then because of the possibilities of failure in the presence of success.

I failed to learn early enough that "Failures are also a path to success" and I didn't have anyone to teach me that until I witness a scene when I turned 15 I think, that event made me view failure with a more relaxed mind to tackle it.

I met a crowd of people trying to hold a girl back from beating herself up as she cried so loudly. I was curious to know why she was being so harsh on herself and I learnt she was like me who studied too hard, tried hard and avoided too many opportunities just to avoid failure. She wanted to be free from her fear but was doing it the wrong way, I got scared of the fact that I have that same fear.

That scene made me confine in a lady I was close to and she taught me something I'll never forget, a way to overcome my number one fear (failure). That lesson she taught me also helped me overcome many other kinds of fear, what did she teach?

Believe more in yourself and say the opposite of what your mind tells you, you'll be fine. It was silly at first but gradually, I learned and I've been fine doing that. I don't fear failure but it doesn't mean I don't try my best to find success instead. This has helped me become an adult who is ready to try out new opportunities and find my way out... Just what I need to accept the dynamics of Adulthood.

_{This is my entry to the Hive learners prompt in collaboration with the Inleo prompt and you are invited to participate too.}

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