LOH 145 Contest -| Why It's not right for women to share details of their finances with their spouses
Share your thoughts on women and their finances in a relationship or marriage, is it — or is it not — right to share the details of your finances with your spouse?
MY THOUGHTS ON THIS TOPIC
I know that there are so many things required in a relationship or marriage for a peaceful and happy union. Honesty, trust, transparency, and effective communication are essential in a relationship and marriage.
In the financial aspect, I will say it depends on the kind of husband. There are some spouses who don't look forward to seeing their wives excel in anything they do.
Having this feeling that once she becomes financially stable, she would be too difficult to control or no longer submit to him and all that
Also, we have men who are never contented, whether or not their business flourishes. They still ask their wives for money on a regular basis for different sorts of expenses, forgetting that the money they keep asking her for is coming from her business or her salary.
I know of a man whose wife aims 40,000 Naira as a monthly salary. Once this woman is paid, her husband gets all the money from her, not minding that the kids will run to their mother for different needs. The woman would need money for all her personal needs.
She literally has to ask the man for everything, even as little as a transport fare to anywhere she needs to go. Which is very bad. That's why when when I started this article, I said It depends on the kind of spouse; is he the kind of man that's really worth being truthful to? Sometimes, a lady sharing her financial status with her husband will end up bringing her regrets, pains and sadness.
Let him know you earn, but don't tell him your net worth. Not all men deserve that truth. Here are the reasons I stand by the idea that it is not right:
If a lady feels her finances is where she needs privacy, then her spouse she allow her enjoy it without picking offense. Someone like me, I love my privacy a lot, no matter how sweet and honeyed we are, If I allow you to enjoy your financial freedom, accord me the same freedom.
There is this self-esteem that accompanies financial freedom as a woman. It gives room to make a decision without having to stand under the umbrella of your husband.
Like I stated earlier, trust is needed in a marriage, but there are so many ways trust can be built. It is not necessary for a lady's financial capability to be made known to her spouse for the marriage to become peaceful or successful.
It is necessary for a man to respect his partner's choice when she says no to disclosing her financial status. Goals can still be attained with or without each other knowing how much is in each other's bank account. With effective planning and management of funds, spouses can attain any height they plan for a successful future.
I believe women should have control of their finances, I hope to make a contribution later in the day.. It's interesting
Thanks so much for supporting that idea. I'm eager to read yours, awaiting patiently for your post. Thanks so much for your amazing comment.
You're welcome dear
This kind of man is injurious to mental health its better to never marry him.
Indeed. I doubt she knew that about him before she walked into the marriage.
I like the points you stated, making her finance status known to her spouse won't make the relationship a successful.
Trust doesn't have to be defined that way, abuse may come in somehow.
Thanks for sharing your thought sis.
!LADY
Exactly, I'm glad you understood my points. Thanks for this beautiful topic.
Your points are valid, once a woman doesn't know anything about her husband's financial status then the wife should also hid hers too. There's no crime in that at all. I believe in women having control over their finances
Yes o. I stand strong on that. Thanks so much dear @mojtee07 for reading through.
The pleasure is mine
I would have to agree with you; it all depends on the type of man one is dealing with. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for your comment and for the time you took out to read till the end. The kind of man matters so much.
You are very welcome!🤗💜🤗
Thanks for the support.
You are right about the fact that our spouses do not need to know all, although my spouse and i do have a common account, and that is for common costs, as in our mortgage, grocery's, insurance's etc. And what we have left is for our own spendings.
The type man we have in our lives matter a lot. All men are not the same and it all depends on who one meets. Personal, I follow someone the way I see the person is.
I do love the fact you two have a common account which you two know what comes in and goes out majorly for the household needs.
we do have seperate accounts to which our salary / benefit is deposited, and than we transfer a certain ammount to a joint account. And which i am sometimes inclined to transfer a little bit more money to our joint account, my spouse always tells me; do not do that again, you need your money for your own needs 💖
That's exactly how it should be. I love the fact that your husband understands the need for you to guard and secure your finances.
This is very thoughtful of him, I love men who understand things like this, it makes the home a happy and peaceful place.
I love your honest thought on the topic.
It all depends on who we marry or are in a relationship with, telling a man our financial status is not the problem but can such a man handle such truth? Most especially when the woman is earning higher. If he is the type that is secure around me about my money, I don't have an issue telling him my financial details to the last kobo otherwise I rather keep it to myself but will still do my part to support the family expenses and projects.
This is just a plain truth. The kind of man we have in life determines if he disclose our finances or not.
Thanks very much @funshee for the ecency points you sent to me, it means so much to me and I so much appreciate your support. I'm glad you love my viewpoints on this topic.
You are welcome dear, enjoy your evening.
Thanks. Same wishes.
Having this feeling that once she becomes financially stable, she would be too difficult to control or no longer submit to him and all that"
That actually has been a very big problem for men. They feel that when you become rich, you will no longer be submissive.
Thanks for sharing.
Exactly. That's just what some men feel which is not true. I learnt that a woman should not be timid but bold.
When she is standing her ground on something men feel she is being authoritative or she not supposed to challenge them as she is a woman.
My sister, I am wearing the same shoes now, but I have also decided to move on despite all odds against what I am doing. I decided to go to school to better the life of everyone in my family. Do you know what my husband people said? She wants to come and ride on our brother when she becomes educated. He told me that himself and somehow he believes what they are saying to be true. But you see me, I no send oh! I still dey my school. I'm 300 level studying language art in ABU ZARIA. thanks for hopping in.
Imagine!!! I love the fact you didn't let those words pull you back, if only they know what education can offer.
I love that spirit, whatever that adds value to one's life is worth going extra mile to get, besides it's something that will benefit everyone by the time you graduate. I love your zeal.
This topic is always dicey when brought up.
From spouses who have secret accounts for unplanned monies and gifts to be stored to those who refuse to disclose their salary which is almost impossible because you live together and one way or the other it will be disclosed.
I have seen situations where secrets like that have led to divorce and the likes.
It's indeed lovely if you could be open and sincere to a very high degree of what you earn without repercussions.
If saying the truth is a necessity - make a savings plan that reduces your savings immediately your salary comes in so that what is left is the salary you speak of.
Lovely read💕
Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful contribution. Yeah, I do get the point you are making and you're absolutely right, financial transparency is very crucial for a healthy and lasting relationship.
Apart from marriages, money matters has a way of creating irrelevant tension which can lead to issues both in marriages friendships, or any relationship at all.
This is a very nice strategy and I love it.
It does create a lot of unnecessary tension.
The pleasure is mine.
Thank you. I’m glad it makes sense.💕
I do agree that trust is needed for transparency between couples and when a woman share her financial details, the husband should too. Also, the woman giving her husband her money in your story shows their relationship isn't healthy.
Exactly. Like it shouldn't be one sided.
At all, most men just have a way of intimating and controlling their wives which is very bad and one reason it's very good to study who will marry or in relationship with.
Yes dearest, it is good to study so as not to fall prey to their schemes and fighting your way out in their malicious grip matters too.
Thanks for the response.
Exactly. I love those words and there are absolutely true. Thanks so much sweetheart for your contributions.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts too. It brought those words out.
!luv
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