One Step After Another

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It was just the night after my last paper for the WAEC exams when the pain first hit me hard on my right leg. At first, I thought it was a random leg pain from the stress of trekking from home to the exam venue. So I just popped a few painkillers I bought from a pharmacy and forgot about it.

But as weeks passed, it got worse that I couldn't even move my feet. I watched my right leg get swollen and red, then a breakage that pained like my legs was being smoked on a barbecue fire. The painkillers were barely effective this time.

I remember sitting there in the doctor's office with my Dad and with tears streaming down my face. And no matter how my Dad tried to console me I just couldn't bring myself to stop crying as the pains were unbearable. Then I heard the doctors add salt to injury with their words

"Sir, we have to start treatment as soon as possible before it gets worse. But keep in mind that some leg ulcers…. take years to heal." I heard one of them warned.

“Why did I bring him here if not for treatment? Start immediately” I heard my father yell.

But the words that hung heavily in the air for me were the doctor's words: 'Take years to heal'. I cried within myself.

"So I get to pause school, my life and my dreams for years just to get better? What happens if I get admitted into the university since I just wrote JAMB? Do I forfeit it too?" I asked no one but myself. My thoughts drowned the noise around me. I was left in a world of my own filled with misery and pain.

I could swear that at that moment it wasn't just the physical pain that hurt me the most. It was the pain of being trapped in a particular stage in my life while my mate progressed with theirs. It felt like the world was moving on leaving me behind.

I tried to hide my pain and misery. But it was so loud that my parents could hear the fight going on inside me. They tried being strong and supportive but I could still feel their fear when they spoke.

One afternoon I lay there in bed staring at the ceiling. Gritting my teeth with the pains in my leg when Nurse Grace walked in with a tray filled with injections for me.

She was young and beautiful but reserved. I knew she barely spoke much but always made sure to maintain a soft smile on her face. But that day there was something about her smile that made me feel seen. It was relaxing too.

Then she asked in a gentle voice "How are you doing today?"

I groaned in pain "I just wish I could be better". I tried not to force a smile or pretend to be fine. I was already losing faith in so many things. Losing faith in God.

"I like it as you didn't pretend. I can see the pain in your eyes. It's like you're fighting everything within you" She paused, Then I watched her open up my cannula and let the injections into my veins "This should help the pains". Then she sat down beside me.

I tried fighting the tears gathering in my eyes. My heart was filled with words but I couldn't find the strength to speak. Then I looked away and let the tears flow. In all these, Nurse Grace just sat there beside me in silence. It felt like an eternity until I finally found the voice to speak.

“Why me? Why now?.” was all I could ask.

She placed her hands on mine with a soft gaze "Sometimes, the toughest battles come at the wrong time but with the biggest rewards in the end”

Then she went ahead to tell me how she lost her family in a car crash. She told me of her younger brother who was just my age, who died in that accident. She told me of how she had to quit school for years because she couldn't afford to pay her fees, but later, she ended up a nurse and earning better than most of her mates who left her behind all those years.

"Life can never promise to be rosy all through. But no matter how hard it gets, no matter how long it takes, don’t stop having faith. It can move mountains."

Honestly, some words are magical. At that moment, and for the first time since I had been admitted, I felt a flicker of hope. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I didn’t have to see the whole path, just the next step.

For the next few weeks, I put on a more cheerful look. Being hopeful and regaining my faith again in God. It wasn't easy nor was it quick. It was a gradual process of taking one step after another. I tried putting on a more positive attitude and thoughts.

Although it took long for my leg to heal and recuperate, It didn't take years, as the doctor had said.

Nurse Grace became a friend while in sick bed. She made sure to check up on me daily, sometimes with fruits and food, and I looked forward to her visits every day. Then she stopped coming

I remember limping down to the nurse's room to ask of her one day when I got the news that she got a better job overseas and had relocated.

"From the look on your face, I guess she didn't tell you about her relocation?" Nurse Gloria asked me. She had her name boldly stitched to her dress

I nodded "She didn't"

"Well, she might've left, but you still have us", the nurse replied, trying to sound caring.

I forced a smile. "Yeah, I do," I answered. But deep down I knew it would be hard to connect with any other nurse than Nurse Grace. "Can I at least have her number to calm her?" I asked the Nurse Gloria

"I'm sorry, but she hasn't called any of us ever since she relocated. So we don't have her new number"

I nodded. I didn't need to push further. I accepted that Nurse Grace will now be a friend I'll always remember in my memories

These days when I look back on how my life has turned out and how it's still progressing after all I've been through, I smile and remember Nurse Grace and her advice

"Life can never promise to be rosy all through. But no matter how hard it gets, no matter how long it takes, don’t stop having faith. It can move mountains"