Family

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I felt it right from when I opened my eyes in the morning. The zeal to live that day was missing in me. My body and soul felt like a heavy storm waiting to flood my entire day. Seriously, I couldn't pinpoint what it was that kept me that way. I was sure I had a good night's rest, and I did well to go to bed early after a crazy night call with Bamb, my crush. But waking up on the wrong side of the bed that morning was not what I had imagined.

I mumbled my morning prayers, seeking the grace to run the day. Then I proceeded to make my bed my bed before dragging my feet to the bathroom. Right at the bathroom sink, I stared at the oval-shaped mirror on the wall, and the reflection I saw was nothing like the Marriott I had known all my life. There were dark circles and visible eye bags beneath my eyes. My hair was almost tangling like the dreads of Aboy, the friendly madman who lived down the road to my house. This a reminder that it has been a long time since I had a good trim. I stared into my eyes through the mirror, and I told the tales of a man who was harbouring more than he could hold.

I was a fresh graduate from university, and it felt like there was a heavy load on my shoulders. Too heavy that I couldn't even walk with my shoulders raised high for my recent accomplishments.

For someone who had a chunk of his little earnings from doing little gigs for people invested in his schooling. I was left with nothing and couldn't renew my rent. So I had to pack my bags and drag myself back to my parent's house, at least for the time being, until I discovered what to do with my life.

Trust me when I say that returning to my parent's house wasn't part of the plan I had for myself after school. But you know what they say, ‘You don't plan your future but your actions. Because it's your actions that create the future you deserve.

Well, did I plan my future? I did, but I guess my actions weren't worthy enough to have kept me back in the state I had studied in. And here I was back at my parent's house, struggling to start over again.

I washed my face and stepped out of my room. The aroma of fresh akara (bean balls) and fried plantain emanating from the kitchen filled my nose. At least I was enjoying good food other than the student food I was used to over the four years I was a student.

"Nnam o (my son)" Mama called as I stepped into the kitchen for a glass of water. The clatter of pots and pans ringing in my ear.

"Good morning, Maa", I greeted her, walking over to the refrigerator to pour myself a glass of cold water. Then I relaxed on the table in the kitchen to gulp it down.

"What have I told you about cold water in the morning, this boy?" Mama said, walking from the gas cooker to the sink with her dirty pots.

I took a deep breath instead without saying a word. The chill from the water felt like it rebooted my soul.

Mama looked over her shoulders from the sink, apparently disturbed by my awkwardness that morning again. She wiped her hands dry and walked up to me but didn't say a word. She only stared into my face; her eyes had questions I was already familiar with, so I turned my face away.

"Ogini? (What's wrong?)" She asked.

I took a deep breath again. "I'm fine", I muttered.

I guess she didn't want to pry further as she returned to the sink. "Are you still meeting with your friend, Micheal? I mean the one for the job?" She asked.

I nodded "Yes, he's coming into town today".

"Okay, so cheer up. I'm sure it'll work out fine," Mama sounded hopeful.

Just then, my two little siblings, Emeka and Ebuke, walked into the kitchen, already prepared for school. They greeted me and I replied with only a hum. They walked over to the plates of food already dished for them and immediately started arguing over which plate belonged to whom.

I tried drowning their voices with my thoughts but their voices were louder than I could handle.

"Will you both quit the noise and pick a food there before I pounce on you!" I screamed.

They shut up and looked up at me, "Always grumpy in the morning ever since you came back. I don't know whether your bed is filled with the wrong sides only, that no matter how you sleep, you always wake up on the wrong side," Emeka, the sharp-mouthed one, said.

Enraged, I got up to spank him, but Mama yelled, "Hey, don't touch my kid."

I paused and turned to Mama. Wondering why she would support me being spoken to in such a manner by my junior one. "But.."

"But what?" She asked, turning to face me. "Is he wrong? Ever since you came back you've been grumpy. Why are you not happy that you are home with your family? I know every young person there wants to leave their parent's house and start their own life, probably family too. But since yours hasn't worked out yet why can you be happy you're with us? Do you dislike living with us or in the house you were raised in?" She asked

I froze at her reaction but couldn't deny that she was right.

"The home", she continued ", our home should be that place you can run back to when things get tough. But you've made it a prison for yourself because as much as you don't love it here we love you here. So can you at least pretend you love it here and stop going about the house releasing your regrets on everyone" Mama concluded and turned back to finish the dishes.

Again, I couldn't deny her how right she was. I was becoming unreasonably childish with my attitude. I gradually stood up to walk back to my room when I heard tiny giggles from my little siblings.

"And would you stop that noise!" I heard Mama scold them as I walked away. "Besides, where did you learn how to talk to your elders in such a manner? The next time you speak to your elderly ones that way I'll make sure to punish you." She added.

I got to my room, dumped myself into my bed, making sure to dig my face into the sheets and let out a scream. Mama's words echo in my ears. Soon I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up from a call from Micheal "I'm in your state. Can we meet now"

I quickly got up and ran to the shower. Had a quick bath and dressed up. My fatigue and grumpy attitude are gone. I guess for the first time since I got home I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I guess Mama's words had done its magic.

I walked out of my room to meet Mama in the sitting room. I walked up to her and sat beside her, resting my head on her shoulders. But before I could speak she said.
"I know I was too harsh on you earlier, but I had to.".

"I understand," I replied. I wasn't expecting an apology from her. Last I checked, African parents barely apologized with words but actions. "I deserved it".

"Where are you off to?" She asked.

I got up and stretched my clothes "To meet Micheal". Then I made for the door

"Good luck," Mama said as I walked out of the house.

I met Michael, and after catching up on lost time, he told me about this job that comes with accommodation in the town. Getting it meant going back to the life I craved for. Just the right ticket to what I wanted. To make it easier for me, he had access to it and could easily link me up.

I thanked him, but a few weeks later, after doing my research, I realized that the job wasn't what I had imagined. A mere mirage painted with fantasies that could barely pay my bills.

I sat there on my bed, thinking about what my next move should be. Then Mama's words echoed again in my mind
“The home should be the place you run back to when things get tough.”

I let it sink through, she wasn't wrong at all. What was the rush for when I could just relax in the comfort and peace my home gave me with people I love while I gradually planned my next move?

I decided to forfeit the job and stay back with my family. It wouldn't hurt if I spent some quality time with them, at least until I got called up to serve my country in the mandatory NYSC (National Youth Service Corps).

Then, maybe after that, I'll apply for a better job and set out to start my own life like Mama had said. As much as I craved to be independent, my family still needed me.

I remember helping Emeka and Ebuka with their assignments in the sitting room while they told me about school and life while I was away from school. Then it dawned on me how much they had wanted to tell me about their lives. But I was busy being grumpy and waking up on the wrong side.

Just then Mama walked into the room. She looked at me and smiled. "So, have you thought of the job?" She asked softly.

"Nah it's not worth it. I think I'll stay for now till something better comes up" I replied

“Take your time son. There's no rush, the world will wait,” she added.