Self denial; my 16 years battle.

Immediately I came across this topic, I remember how I lived in self denial for 16 years.

I will start this article by saying this; if at all you would be addicted to anything, let it be something that adds value to your life. If it is otherwise, addiction is destructive. Some of the things that destroy us are very easy to venture into but hard to exit. You would agree that what you are doing is bad but to execute the willingness to quit becomes a headache.

About eighteen years ago, I gave in to peer pressure and I started smoking. It was that stage in the life of a teenager where you love to explore and try out many things even against the wishes of your parents.

I joined my friends to have a taste of what cigarettes are and that was it. It became a battle of many years before quitting.

Right from the beginning, I am aware of the dangers of smoking to one's health but I value the satisfaction that comes from its sensation more than a healthy living. The government of Nigeria, through the ministry of health, reminds every smoker that cares to listen that they are liable to die young. Such an inscription is on the pack of all the brands of cigarettes being sold in the country.

I took my time to research about the effects of the smoke being passed into the system. I read extensively about how oxyhaemoglobin that aids blood transportation is being threatened with the smoke going into the system. On a normal day, once I read about the danger or I sat down and went through some reflections, I would declare a stop to smoking. The next hour, I would change my mind, citing one Baba Anoze, an octogenarian who had been smoking for decades without known complications. The next thing is for me to go and buy some sticks and there I am back again.

Each time I hold the pack and read the inscription, "smokers are liable to die young", I agreed that I was doing the wrong thing but I kept postponing the day I would quit. I remember that for straight 10 years, quitting smoking was at the top of the list of my new year resolutions each year.

Any time that I summoned the courage to quit, the whole thing would suddenly crash for one reason or the other. Reasons such as cold weather in most cases.

The most notable experience in this regard was when I successfully quit for about three months before going for national youth service. I thought I had defeated the monster of addiction. I was posted to Bauchi and it was at the peak of harmattan season. After spending just a day, I resumed the act. In fact, I was consuming in such a way that it could be concluded that I was smoking to pay back for the three months holiday that I had earlier.

That was how I resumed with full force. I tried to avoid anything that would remind me that what I was doing is bad. I avoided buying cigarettes with the pack at a point to avoid reading the warning inscription. I was following a dangerous path yet I was assuring myself that there won't be a problem.

The struggle continued until I met a woman that made quitting a condition for our marriage. It was at this stage that it dawned on me to win the battle without any other option. I struggled a little but finally I quit. It was after I quit that I realized that the problem had been a mind game. The cold season that used to serve as an invitation ticket to resume is no longer playing such a role.

I successfully got my mind off it and I regained my healthy life. It was like being released from prison after 16 years.