Will I Go To Hell For This?
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At the age of three, I was introduced to Christianity as a religion, my whole family was Christians so, by proximity, I was too, and it didn’t matter if I didn’t understand anything.
Every Sunday, I was made to go to church, and the church I attended was filled with an older congregation which meant a lot of rules, and even though I had so many questions, I couldn’t ask any.
We usually would have a service called Sunday school where we were taught about the Bible and in a normal sense, I was supposed to have the opportunity to ask questions but, when I did, I was always shushed.
As a very inquisitive child, I think the worse thing that happened to me was an older lady gifting me a Bible, I was a good reader so, before long I read it through which, Uhm, screwed with my brain.
The stories I read in the Bible were wild; especially in the old testament, and I couldn’t even comprehend what it was supposed to teach me at that point.
If I wasn’t Christian, I’ll say a bunch of drunks probably picked up a pen and decided to go all out but since I am, I’ll say; a bunch of spirited drunks picked up a pen and decided to go all out.
Now, even though there were a lot of crazy stories, a few stuck out to me, and I'll be talking through them.
THE STORY OF THE ELISHA SENDING BEARS TO KILL CHILDREN; YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT
well, the story surrounds Elisha receiving an anointing and while going home, he was mocked by children for being bald.
Now a normal person might have reported them to their parents but, Elisha decided that “oh no, I’ll send bears to eat and kill the children and let’s see what they do about that”; I imagine him with his tongue out while doing this.
Moral lesson: never mock a bald man.
LOT'S DAUGHTERS RAPE THEIR FATHER
Wild, I tell you but, well, it is said that Lot had to leave Sodom with his two daughters to hide in the wilderness because Sodom was destroyed due to sin.
His daughters were so concerned about humanity and thought that the whole world was destroyed, so they decided to get their father drunk and raped him to save humanity; thank you lot's daughters.
Moral lesson: I have no words.
SAMSON AND DELILAH •AKA• LOVE ISN’T ONLY BLIND BUT STUPID
The story of Samson is a crazy one if I’ll say so, Samson was given a gift of strength through his hair and was told to never cut it.
One thing led to another and he ended up with Delilah who was paid to find out the source of his strength; pretty straightforward.
Samson who was in love was asked by Delilah about the secret to his strength and bro lied, but she didn’t know so she told the people that paid her and they tried what he had told them but it failed.
Now, tell me why this cycle happened thrice and Samson still told Delilah his secret in the end, like how he had to be stupid.
Well, he ended up dead and killed everyone also but, it could have been avoided if he wasn’t dumb.
Moral lesson: never fall in love or at least have a little sense.
JACOB AND THE SISTERS
So the story starts with Jacob stealing his brother's birthright and blessing in exchange for porridge; wild on its own but let's move on.
Jacob to escape his brother decided to run away to stay with his uncle and there he meets the love of his life.
As a broke dude, he decides to work 7 years to marry her but, after the 7 years, his uncle tricks him and makes him marry his first daughter, he has to work another 7 years for his true love and they live happily ever after.
Well, there are a lot of things I couldn't understand about the story, first, why the heck did Jacob agree to that trash, maybe he always wanted her sister; fear men.
Second, Jacob wasted 14 years working to marry; make it make sense.
Anyways the moral lesson: Fear men
FINALLY,
There are so many more crazy stories in the Bible and I could write a book dissecting them but, I'll stop here for today so the people who killed Jesus don't try to kill me; I haven't lived life enough so maybe when I do, I'll be back.
Till then, I'll sign out with my bad humor.
The image was created in canva and the gifs belong to tenor
5 years this has been happening to me, it started here, around people that are still here. Homeland security has done nothing at all, they are not here to protect us. Dont we pay them to stop shit like this? The NSA, CIA, FBI, Police and our Government has done nothing. Just like they did with the Havana Syndrome, nothing. Patriot Act my ass. The American government is completely incompetent. The NSA should be taken over by the military and contained Immediately for investigation. I bet we can get to the sources of V2K and RNM then. https://peakd.com/gangstalking/@acousticpulses/electronic-terrorism-and-gaslighting--if-you-downvote-this-post-you-are-part-of-the-problem
That's Samson and Delilah story wasn't love but stupidity from Samson. Love does no evil to his neighbour. Love is kind. Love is patience. God is love.
Oh well, whatever it was, it was bizarre 😆
It was usery, and lust.
More like a pump and dump
Delilah was a scam..lol
First of let me make it clear, I am not a Christian. Secondly, yes it makes sense because on that era people lived for many years. 60 or 100 wasn't there age so yes 14 years is completely logical to me. He might have not agreed only because of the girl but remember this old man saved his life so he can do a little for him. He might have wanted to help the man and they don't immediately marry on day one, they get to know each other or 14 years (lucky couple).
Yeah, I understand (it was just a joke,) but he married her sister first and he didn't do it as a favor to his uncle because in the end, he scammed the uncle 😆
The whole bible was like fiction to me then and I enjoyed these weird stories. I guess if I was born in the Bible times I would have been Thomas's daughter because I don't be believing shit.
😆 there are some things I have read and am I, how abeg 🤔 this couldn't have happened.
I am a devoted Christian and I am still doubting oh
Some people say christianity was a ruse by a secret mushroom cult that caught on with the profane, so they ran with it.
I couldn't read the aramaic, so I couldn't say one way or the other.
I can say I have suffered violence inspired by the words in the bible, so it has that going against it.
Mark me down as agnostic.
The Bible is used for so many manipulations so I understand how it has that against it.
That theory is crazy though 😆
If you are not thinking outside the box, your thoughts are in a box.
True, very true.
Hahaha, I had the same experience with Sunday school. I would start asking questions, like what did the lions eat for 40 days on Noah's ark, If Adam and Eve were the only people on earth and they had two sons, where did everyone else come from, and Wouldn't Jesus have served people better if he could keep helping them instead of letting them kill him?
I was labelled a troublemaker and told not to ask any questions. The teacher told my mom that I was disruptive and needed more discipline at home. Luckily my mom wasn't a church goer and she didn't like people trying to crush a kid's curiosity so I didn't have to go back.
Later on in life I read the Bible, just to try and see why everyone was so into it and I just made it through the Old Testament and gave up trying to understand. Your examples were definitely at the top of the list for craziness.
Great post and thanks for sharing.
I had the same question about Adam and Eve also, a lot of things needed to be explained, it's sad that the teachers didn't even give us to the opportunity to ask questions; blind fellowship I guess.
I am still Christian but, I have so many questions still, oh well.
Thank you for reading.
Certainly, if you read the bible stories the same way you read novels or history materials, you would be in total disbelief or better still you would have missed the point of the story.
The bible stories are told for a reason. They are told in a way as to accentuate some parts and diminish some others.
I know they are there for a reason but no matter what some of the story are crazy and we all have to admit it.
Yay! 🤗
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Hi dear I think you should mention the source for your animated pictures?
Oh okay, I created it with canva, but ill do just that, thank you.
5 years this has been happening to me, it started here, around people that are still here. Homeland security has done nothing at all, they are not here to protect us. Dont we pay them to stop shit like this? The NSA, CIA, FBI, Police and our Government has done nothing. Just like they did with the Havana Syndrome, nothing. Patriot Act my ass. The American government is completely incompetent. The NSA should be taken over by the military and contained Immediately for investigation. I bet we can get to the sources of V2K and RNM then. https://peakd.com/gangstalking/@acousticpulses/electronic-terrorism-and-gaslighting--if-you-downvote-this-post-you-are-part-of-the-problem
I have a few bible stories of my own too.
You should share it 😆
Well, if you insist.. here you go😁
https://peakd.com/hive-164166/@baby.magic/bible-stories-they-dont-teach-you-in-sunday-school
Hehe he, I'll check it out.
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STOPAs a child I always looked forward to Sundays because of the children Sunday school classes and the beautiful stories they told and well some of them made no sense just like you pointed out.
Now that I think of it, my humour sense is kicking and asking me to write some funny things I thought about some of those stories too
You should write on some, I'll love to read 😆 because there are a lot more that made no sense.
You are right about it. Time to pick up my book of Bible stories. Let's see what I'd come up with.
I'll be looking out for it.
Bible stories were fun for me, I always looked forward and prayed for everyday to be Sunday.
That's good for you then 😊
Elisha was very harsh oh
That guy had serious anger issues.
His anointing was very aggressive..
It wasn't all his fault sha
Those children annoyed him.
some children still have this bad attitude of mocking people.
I hope they don't get to learn the hard way.
Omo, I get sha but they were still children even though some say they were demons.
@khaleesii What are they teaching you down there??
I must admit I was secretly proud of Elisha.
😆 the question is what aren't they teaching.
Proud of Elisha, that's the first.
I'd love to set a couple of bears on the trolls around here.
Hehehe, I can imagine that happening but how do the bears find the trolls 😆
Had pretty much the same experience growing up, tho now I only go once every few years.
Always loved and still love those Old Testament stories tho. Real or not I find the lore fascinating. Even more so recently actually, since it's been proven that every once in a while a historical accuracy will be prove. Give or take the exaggerations.
I do enjoy reading them no doubt but I always thought about why the stories had to be so wild.
People had no chills before the PC culture. 😂
Omo they didn't at all.
What about that Lots wife turning backward...What if she was playing the backward man game? Mmmn?
😆 she probably remembered a debt someone was owing her
Lol...and who turned to find out she turn into a pillar of salt...and why salt?
You are asking the wrong Bible scholar 😆 but maybe salt because salt is salt.