Beautiful Sunday: beautiful sunset by the river and some reflections.

6 months ago

The sky has been very cloudy along the river most of the time. So, it became rare to catch a spectacular sunset as in the past. Beautiful sunset or not, I still found it very calming to cycle along the river during sunset. Besides I also needed regular exercises to stay fit and healthy. After a busy day in the garden, evening cycling by the river seemed like a lovely reward.

I always got excited whenever I caught a glimpse of a golden sunset by the river. I would hurry to reach the riverfront as soon as possible. My mind would become quiet and relaxed while cycling along the river observing the surroundings. It’s like a semi- meditation break from daily activities and emotional fuzziness. Things impinged on my mind creating various emotions which were mostly suppressed or unobserved during ongoing activities. So, these ‘unripened’ emotions would have the chance to float up to my conscious mind to be contemplated upon and let go. This process would lighten the load on my mind and allow me to have less strange dreams.

In the past, I used to have very strange dreams full of bits and pieces of what I had experienced during the day. Some unresolved emotional turmoil would also acted out their symbols and reactions in my dreams. The subconscious mind was quite a strange puzzle to me and it took me years to learn to appease the subconscious and to communicate with. I did read several books by Jung while studying overseas. So, I tried to get the animus and anima to work together as a team. The best way was via deep meditation in which things got untangled and resolved naturally.

Sometimes or most of the time, my conscious mind was very strong, reflecting the nature of my strong ego. I discovered that through compassion for oneself and other sentient beings, could I begin to get in touch with my subconscious mind who was the wiser part of me. Being very logical and intellectual made the separation between the conscious and subconscious parts of oneself very hard to bridge in the past. The brain was too fast at judging and categorising the sensory perceptions and thoughts or accumulated knowledge played their parts in compartmentalisation of each experience. The feeling side or emtional aspect of each experience then became a part of the library of accumulated emotions.

Meditation and contemplation made it possible for my mind to come to terms with unresolved issues so they could be allowed to wither away. This was a gentle way to let the whole mind understand conflicting emotions and clearing the deck. Then, I could live in the ‘now’ instead of getting bogged down with the burden of the past. The vibes from surrounding nature did help to support my inner struggle to be free and to become wholesome.

I sometimes wondered how other people handled their inner conflicts and unresolved emotional problems. It was difficult for me to come to grip with the subconscious. The problem was how to find a balance between the two and to make them work together as one wholesome mind. I was glad to be close to the river and Mother Nature as they could give out very nourishing and healing vibes. That’s probably why most people became mesmerised by looking at the river.

Things are moving faster than I have expected. Funny thing: old friends or acquaintances had popped up into my orbit. I wonder what the universe has installed for me on my journey to a new beginning. I pray and hope that I would have the required stamina and strength to accomplish what I have been assigned to do in this lifetime.