The need for improvement.

We all have our own shortcomings, areas where we’d really like to improve to become the best version of ourselves. I know I have some things I need to work on if I want to get better at connecting with people. Here are the three areas where i would really want to improve in even without anyone challenging me.

The first thing is my confidence. I’ve always struggled with being confident, especially around girls. Recently, I met a girl at my school through TikTok, and she was really easygoing and engaging in our chats. She was the one keeping our conversations going, and I really liked that about her. So, I decided to ask her to meet up in person, hoping we’d hit it off face-to-face too. But once we met, I just froze —I couldn’t even make eye contact with her properly. I was so shy, and she picked up on it. Later, she even mentioned on Snapchat that I seemed “timid.” That hit deep, and after that, things fizzled out. It was a wake-up call for me, though; I don’t want my lack of confidence to keep holding me back from building real relationships. I’m working on it because I know I need to be confident in myself if I want to connect with someone else.

Another area I need to improve on is my communication skills. I struggle to keep a conversation going, especially at a deeper level, and that’s been tough for me when it comes to meeting girls. When I was with that same girl, the conversation only really flowed because she was good at keeping it up. It made me realize I can’t keep relying on the other person to do all the work. I’ve met a few other girls, and after just a couple of days of talking, things usually end even when i don't want it to. I just don’t know what to say, or the vibe dies, and I get stuck. I think this is one reason I haven’t had a girlfriend yet, even though I’m in my fourth year at university. Improving my communication skills is definitely something I’m working on, and I know it’ll make a difference with time.

Lastly, there’s my anger management. I’m someone who sometimes gets angry easily, and it’s caused problems in my relationships. I tend to react right away if someone says or does something that gets to me, and that can lead to regrettable decisions. I had a recent incident with one of my roommates. I was already in a bad mood, and immediately i entered the room, he asked me to close the door. I didn’t, and things escalated. I ended up insulting his parents, and he lost his cool, which made him hit me severally on the face. Seeing my face with bruises got me very angry and i just had to report the case to the hostel master even after other guys in the room begged me seveally not to to because of the consequences. Along the line, he got into serious trouble because they took it up with the school authorities, and he was almost suspended for one year. I felt bad for him and his family because i know how much that would cost them, so I decided to speak up and i pleaded on his behalf. At the end of the day, it helped him avoid the suspension, and I think it saved our friendship a little bit even though that has made not see him the same way again because i didn't expect him to also react that way to the extent of punching me. I don’t want my quick temper to keep putting me in situations like that. I’ve noticed that when I get angry, saying anything back just makes it worse, so now I’m working on staying calm, keeping quiet, or walking away from the situation.

I know that becoming better at confidence, communication, and handling my temper won’t happen overnight, but I’m determined to keep working on it. Every step I take makes me a little bit closer to being the person I want to be. And who knows, with these improvements, I might finally be ready for the kind of meaningful relationships I’ve always wanted.

Thanks to @galenkp for this topic.