🏍️ Moto Trip To The Village Chief's House-Warming Party 🎩
I didn't know we had a village chief until a stranger invited us to a house-warming party and informed us he was our village chief despite not living in our village.
String Theory 🧵
I am no seamstress, an in fact I don't even know what the male version of a seamstress is called, but a little googlin' told me it's a seamster. Well I am no seamster folks, but when a wild string begins unraveling from a shirt, my best solution is always burn it off with a lighter, hardly a repair, but it usually prevents further unraveling, and Monkey-B gets a free string.
Summoned Invited To A Party 🤷♂️
I can remember the first time I was invited to a Cambodian style party so many years ago, and I can also remember the disappointment when I was expected to put an unknown amount of money in an envelope for the privilege of attending. I don't consume alcohol, and I'm also vegan, and this doesn't match well with Cambodian style parties that serve exclusively meat dishes and alcohol, sometimes with a Coca-Cola or Fanta served here and there. A cup of hot tea is not on the menu at these kind of things.
In Cambodia you are not really invited to parties, but it rather feels more like a summons to a court proceeding, and the summoner gives you an invitation with an included envelope for you to place money and give back when you attend. People keep histories of all the parties they've been to, how much they paid, and how much people have paid them, etc.
This is a part of the Cambodian culture I don't like, and where I'm from in the popcorn fields of southern Indiana, if you're invited to a party, the person throwing the party or event realizes they're asking you to sacrifice your time to come, and we pride ourselves in our hospitality, so you don't need to bring a single cent, and you will feel like family even if you're a stranger as an attendee.
Bye Mom 🤗
It's very different in Cambodia because of the money dynamic that corrupts these parties. People know that they earn more money from more people attending, so they invite as many people as possible, even total strangers like in my case. Well, to make matters worse, this party was the house-warming of our village chief that doesn't live in our village, a 20 minute ride away on the national highway, and because of his VIP status, we are 1000% expected to go.
The whole thing feels very vain and fake from the invitation to the party itself. The village chief has never been spotted by me during the entire year I've already lived here, and the first time he introduces himself he summons me to an event that I must pay to attend. I am not impressed by these things like Cambodians are, who will drink and eat like it's WWIII to try and recoup the amount of money they put in the envelope.
No Fun At All 👎
These parties are organized by catering/party companies, and they charge per table, which usually contain 8 to 10 chairs each. The norm is to summon more people than there are chairs at tables, and this will prevent any waste at the cost of many people not being able to eat or officially attend the party should everyone that's invited actually show up.
I have only one picture from the event because I honestly detest these parties. The music is too loud for conversation, I can't eat the food, I can't drink the drinks, and I almost always never know any of the people I am forced to sit at a random table with. It's easier to show up right at starting time, explain that we are vegans that don't drink, hand over the fine donation money, and turn around and go home. So that's what happened on this day, we spent an hour getting ready and fancy to drive 20 minutes, only to pay a fine, sit awkwardly for 5 minutes with people we don't know, then turn around and come home, having paid $20 for the privilege.
It cost us $20 USD, at least that's what we put in the envelope after consulting with locals to see what the norm is for bribes fines donations to these events in this part of the country. The extremely wealthy couple hosting the party was more than happy to take our money despite us not partaking in any of the offerings. We marveled at the size of the property, the amount of new 2023 Toyota Hilux trucks, and we hopped on our humble Honda Cub and headed home before any of the partygoers arrived. I am just thankful to somewhat gracefully have dodged spending the night at this place pretending to hear and be interested in things drunken strangers are saying.
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Strange way of doing events, interesting as well !LOLZ
Trust you and the family are happily settled, now you obviously have been heard of living quietly in the country.
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Strange indeed, well, the sounds of nature are everywhere, but often times it is replaced with karaoke speakers. That is how most people entertain themselves in this village if not gambling.
Very bizarre way of inviting people around, to say the least. Both karaoke and gambling would have me heading back home in no time at all....
Enjoy riding and keep safe always my friend.
Safety first always.
That is true my friend .
Oh my gosh. That is so messed up. I can't believe they can do this. What happens if you don't go. I would just give them a story and not show up. I think you should say you're the chief of your place and hold a different kind of party. Ask for half the money and cook some good food around the fire. I'd pay for this kind of good time.
Everyone keeps a book with detailed records of all the parties they've been to, how much money was put in the envelopes, and if you make a parties, you keep detailed records of all the money you've received, how much, and from who. This makes friendships very awkward and monetized, and approaching a party is the most uncomfortable thing because you can't enter until you present the envelope and the amount of money you pay is recorded.
I refuse to keep a binder, and if I ever throw a party, I could never ask for a dime because it feels so tacky to me. Even if you don't attend the party, someone is expected to be hired to deliver the envelope of money. The whole thing sucks, especially when someone you've never met invites you to their party, because it's obviously not your friendship they want.
It's borderline evil.
Party events look like at our place too.
Yes, it is a very similar style, very formal. I prefer a casual informal party style that feels more social, so I try not to stay at these events very long.
What a bazaar and absurd world we live in. Where I live in Western Australia things are also bazaar but in a different way. I believe unless you know the difference by traveling you don't see the absurdity of everything you're already in. Culture is a fascinating subject and the process in which it develops as a subconscious layer to our behaviour as a group over time. Keep well in these mad times!
I always tell visitors to Cambodia to take everything you know and expect the exact opposite, and your time in Cambodia will be much more stress-free. The absolute strangeness of this place has made it interesting and often entertaining to live here, but the novelty of the party culture wore off after only one party, I really don't like mixing money and friendships in this way.
I also find it fascinating, thanks for the indepth reply!
In all honesty the above is what I would expect in the Cambodian countryside not the situation you describe.
Seeing that picture I can only ... don't even know what to say. The whole party set up looks terrible.
I hope, next time, you can pick up the courage to not attend at all.
Definitely not my style, but I can remember way back in 2010 when I found these parties amusing for a few hours. Fast forward to 2023, and I can't stand them, will do anything to get out of the situation as quick as possible.
Just race out of there, Kentuckian style, wheelie and all!
Yay! 🤗
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Keep safe sr! and enjoy
I'm glad we only had to stay a few minutes.
I wish I did not read this post. I wish I did not commented as well. I guess this is how the Asian country operate.
To put the "fine" into a better term, we call it lucky money. Which means, this is the amount of donation one sacrifice in return with good luck. And yes, it's exactly the same in Malaysia.
I can't recall if I mentioned I'm the youngest cousin in my generation, where my dad has 13 siblings 🤣 I've got hundreds of cousins, and therefore our family has attended more than hundreds of these family parties(wedding, house warming, their kids or grandkids wedding, funeral). We do have a small 555 booklet to keep track of where the "luck" goes 🤣.
I've also seen Hong Kong wedding dinner, where the receptionist open the envelope, announce the name and amount of "luck" the attendee brought in 🤣🤣🤣 with the public announcement system.
Haha, here it is sometimes announced how much money whoever donated on the mic 🤦♂️, sucks to be poor I guess.
In Cambodia the parties in more congested areas have fences stronger than prisons, and you can't get inside without passing through the envelope collection station where your
requireddonation will be recorded. The whole process just felt weird on this occasion. We had never met the guy before, plus he is super rich, so it feels weird to ride our $500 moto to his massive compound to present him $20 and tell him we can't eat or drink anything at the party, so it's best we not stick around so that potential eaters can have the seats.Oh my! I didn't know that there was such a culture in Cambodia. But here in our country, there are Godparents when a child is getting baptized which they must give something to the child, like a gift or money. Then, during weddings, the newly-wed couple will take a minute of dancing, then people & visitors would pin money on their clothes. It's more like a "gift" than a "fine". But what you described there, it's really like the return of investment thing for the people hosting the event.
We have a bit of a similar tradition in the USA for the baptizing, etc. At wedding parties in my country, some people choose to bring gifts, and sometimes the gift might be cash but it is more often a gift card or item of some kind. I would guess only half of the people that attend wedding parties buy a gift for the couple, and it's not expected if the person is too poor to afford such a thing,
I understand the idea here to gain back investment costs of the party, but in reality parties turn a huge profit the bigger they are. There was no need for this house-warming party, and it's the first one I've ever seen here that was set up like a wedding party with expected donations and all the other formalities. I guess I am a poor hillbilly from the USA, but I like casual parties like potlucks and bonfires.
I could also feel the same frustration and disappointment if I'll ever be in your situation attending such a house warming party that would oblige me to give something.
A very unique and strange experience, usually when we are invited to a party, whether it's a wedding participant or a harvest party, or a people's party, envelopes are not offered for us to give money. And usually when we go to a party, everything will be free.
I like this way better. If I throw a party, I get the most joy by making guests feel comfortable and entertained, and the last thing I want anyone to do is pay for anything or make things feel too formal. Where I'm from in the USA, we are farming people, so a party for us is just a big fire and lots of conversation.
Ohh what a party that is not fun at all. Maybe if it is happened to me , I would rather make my own party at home. Anyways have a safe ride.
The party was at the village chief's house, but it sure didn't feel homely at all. It felt more like a movie set, far from relaxing or casual. I always dread these formal parties in Cambodia, and I know it's taboo not to attend, and you always have put money in an envelope. It almost feels like a hostage situation more than a party to me 😉😆.
Oh, the culture there is somewhat like new to me. In contrast to us here. We will have parties and will invite as many guests as we want but not the kind of thing that they have to give money to us as a sort of something in return. No! It's a big No. The visitors will come and eat for free. No money that they will get from their pocket and give to the host of the party . But if it's a wedding ceremony, there is a prosperity dance in which we will hand over any amount of money to the couple but not compulsory. You may give and you may not. Such a queer culture sir. Well anyway, stay safe, and God bless.
I like the prosperity dance concept, it seems friendlier to poor people. I don't like the monetized friendships here, and because of this formal party culture, nobody ever has a casual party with a firepit and chairs. I would love to have an American countryside style party here, but I think Cambodians would see would not be impressed by a bonfire and homemade food. They prefer formal clothing, catering companies, and live music, and all this formality makes parties very uncomfortable for me.
Oy. What a story. At least you weren't caught needing to stay there all night long. Small victories, right?
It is so much harder to leave when you go later because everyone is their, drunk, and overly social, creating a very hard escape plan. I prefer to show up early, hand the money to the owner directly, then they are obliged to sit with me, and because we aren't friends and don't know each other, it quickly gets awkward and both of us want to escape, a small victory like you said 🏁.
Hely uncle, your motor looks super cool! I'm really sorry you had to go to the house-warming party only to be treated like a stranger. If I had gone, I'd have been just as disappointed.
Well, the party was a good excuse to go for a ride with Pov. I don't like these formal parties, so I prefer to go early and leave early so I can spend the night at home with family.
🙏🙏🙏
I feel for ya. Life is too short, having to play "games" like that. 😒
I agree, and to think in 12 years I've only ever personally seen two informal parties where there aren't spotlights, tight-fitting nylon clothing, and too-loud speakers everywhere. It's so easy to just make a bonfire and gather some chairs, invite some friends, thousands of dollars do not need to be spent. The longer I live here, the more I realize that rural Cambodian possess more wealth potential than their southern Indiana rural counterparts, but how and what they spend their money is often the problem.
They keep the historical of guest's payment so serious, which make me feel so embarrassed when I paid them less than they paid to me even though they know I am broke sometimes but they still be saying bad about me even when I paid them equally.
I have always found this custom to be strange, and it's very difficult for me because in my culture parties are always free, and it would be rude if the host expected any money from attendees. Guests do often cook or bake something to bring to the party, and this make everything feel comfortable and casual.
You two look very smart in your outfits🥰.
That was an interesting experience of yours. Really nice and brave of you to turn up despite the fact that you know you're not going to have fun at all as you don't drink and you are following a diet that's not specially served to one on a certain individual like on the plane.
I must say that parties/events in your country is much like here in the Philippines unless things had change that I didn't know of. Been away for a while and I'm an introvert.
I probably would have the same reaction as yours. Well, at least you had that privilege of getting an invitation from a big person😊🙃🙂
Well, culturally there is no choice, we have to attend or send the envelope with someone else. There is no escaping the payment regardless of whether or not you attend the party. I prefer casual parties, a fire, children roasting marshmallows, yard games, homemade food, perhaps even a potluck, but this would be a terrible evening for most Cambodians.
Oh dear! Must be really terrible instead of
taking it as a privilege being invited.
Your idea of a party is much much better and fun.