Breaking Free

Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. Just like you prevent your physical body from sustaining injuries, and take care of it with different ointments and sweet-scented creams, we should also give that same energy to our mental health. Often, we forget to check in with ourselves and neglect our mental health. In today’s world, especially in a country like mine where everything has turned upside down, it is easy to get lost, go crazy, and neglect your mental health. Now, the big question is: when and how do we know when to feed our mental health with the right resources? We all have different perspectives and opinions, but to me, taking care of our mental health means getting rid of anything that threatens our peace. That point where you yell “Not today. I've heard enough.”

Sometimes, we care about others so much that we forget to care about ourselves. We prioritize other people’s happiness over ours. I know of a friend who stayed in an abusive relationship because she didn't want to hurt the guy by breaking up with him. I've heard many stories of people who stayed in an abusive marriage simply because their partner is the breadwinner and they wouldn't be able to do anything without them. Similarly, I've heard many stories of people who had to endure and suffer from their bosses at work, simply because they relied on their salary and felt they had nowhere else to go. I understand that prioritizing other people’s happiness is good and all, but whether you call it being selfish or not, your peace of mind should come first. Everything will change when you realize that you matter the most and that your happiness shouldn't be toyed with.

At one point in our lives, we've had to deal with obstacles that threatened our happiness, posing dangers to our mental health. Today’s Hive learner’s prompt asks us about the last time we put our mental health first.

It all started about two years ago. At first, I thought it was just the “normal thing”. I didn't see it coming until it got too deep. I was in my second year when I became friends with a certain lady. At that time, I was skeptical about friendships. I’d closed my heart to friendship and didn't want to make friends with anyone new. But, somehow, things happened and we became friends. We got quite close, but not as close as telling each other deep, personal stuff. Just when I thought things had started to go well. Just when I thought that I'd found the right friend, things took a turn.

At first, it started with Jeslously. Once, she openly told me that she gets jealous easily, but I waved it off, not thinking too deeply about what might happen. She'd get jealous and complain about my other friends. I started attending lectures and became friends with some of my coursemates. No one told me that I was supposed to have just one friend in the university. Whenever I went to visit my friends, she’d complain about how I took too long or about how I shouldn't go visiting people. I thought she cared about my well being and safety until she bluntly said that visiting my other friends makes her jealous and angry. In her words, “If you respect me enough, you won’t go around visiting other people, chatting with them, or even calling them frequently.”

She made me question my sanity and I thought deeply about it. Shouldn't I be allowed to have more than one friend? Since when did it become a crime to visit friends and call them? When I confronted her about it, she objected and said that I was the only friend she had and she cared about me so much. We moved from normal friendship to toxic friendship. Whenever I remember the sacrifices I made, I always feel like hitting my head on the wall. It got to a point that she'd cry for long, her eyes red and swollen just because I wasn't giving her enough attention just like I did to my other friends. Instead of me correcting her, I’d go on muttering apologies and promising her that I’d do better.

I “suffered” for more than one year. It will get to a point when you have had enough and you'll yell “Stop!” It got to the extent where I couldn't bear it any longer and I had to cut her off. I realized that my happiness mattered too. I moved out to a far place and also cut her off on all social media platforms. I realized that we shouldn't wait till we get pushed to the wall before we prioritize our mental health.

Thanks for reading.