The COMedy Rumble: Lingeriassment

Lingeriassment: A word coined from lingerie and embarrassment. A situation where you are embarrassed by the sight of your lingerie in an awkward place.
JOY DUKESON

I know you will be trying to wrap your head around this new word and the situation that propelled it. Well, welcome to my world. I am also trying to figure things out too. let's figure it out together.

So yesterday, I stepped out with my daughter to buy recharge card. I carried her on my back with my wrapper because I didn't want to go through that stress of carrying her in my arms. This baby of mine has put on so much weight that you have to eat well in order to lift her up otherwise, you might find yourself fainting on the road. People will think it is spiritual attack when they see you on the ground, they wouldn't know that it is hunger. And be careful too when you want to lift her up especially in public because her weight can trigger your anus to release fart.

Back to my story, as I was about to head out of the door when i noticed the weather was dull like it was going to rain. Left for me, I would have loved that feeling of letting the rain drop on my body. But since I was carrying a child who must not be beaten by rain, I decided to fetch the umbrella.

if I let the rain beat her small, what will happen? When I was a kid, I use to play in the rain. It didn't make me less of a human at all. Small rain, my husband will say, carry umbrella o. As if she is a bag of salt that rain must not touch.

So we headed out and we were at the junction when a lady called my attention to something that fell from my daughter's hands. I turned around and saw the black small cloth. In my mind, I was wondering where my daughter picked the black small cloth from.

I didn't give her anything to hold and when I put her on my back, she wasn't holding anything at all. Anyway, I went close to the cloth and ladies and gentlemen, it was my lingerie.

Hey God, this girl has disgraced me. I looked around and saw some group of people looking at me. How will I pick this thing up now? I stood there for some seconds wondering what to do. This cannot be real o. I pinched myself to be sure this wasn't real. Lo and behold, it was as real as anything. Which tactics will I use now to do this trick?

I remembered Cinderella and her godmother and how she was dressed like a princess just with the wave of her grandmother's hands. I closed my eyes and waved my hands. Oh no! This is not a movie ooo. My lingerie was staring at me and smiling at my stupidity.

One guy jokingly asked me if that was mine?

who is this one again? That's how they will not mind their business. Can you not see that I have been disgraced enough? You want to add to it right? Just let me be please. Let me pick my lingerie in peace.

I made up my mind to pick it up after all it is beautiful and sexy. I picked it up and quickly folded it into my palm. I ran all the way back to my house and refused to come out again. There is another route that I will be taking for now. It is not me that people will use and do example at all. Imagine them seeing me and saying, "look at that woman that her lingerie fell on the ground"

But how did this child even get hold of my lingerie? Turned out that when I went to get the umbrella, she took it from where I hung it in the balcony.

This is just the perfect example of children will disgrace you.

This is a contest on going in the #Comedyopenmic community. Thank you @winniecorp for telling me about #TheCOMedyRumble fun contest. I invite @attentionneeded and @deeiykes20 to participate. Click on the link here to know more

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