Therapy: A Trade or a Solution?
Many people believe that talking about problems and confronting them head on is the best way to deal with them. It's the 101 of therapy. They say you should discuss your deepest fears, concerns, and pains. They claim it is primarily a healing and coping mechanism. This also works, but humans are far too complex for textbook plans to be effective on everyone.
I was watching a reality TV show about a retired soldier looking for a place to live after retiring from the army. He was adamant about not living near people or having modern technology around. I watched the way he spoke, and he seemed to have seen and experienced a lot. His real estate agents appeared to criticize his house choices, but they were unlikely to understand everything he had gone through. Being in the army would have probably messed him up, and he would have most likely chosen isolation to deal with what he went through.
"Ignorance is bliss" is a cliche that is not always understood.
Not knowing about many things; being in the dark, unaware, or not "in the know" is frequently underestimated, and sometimes the things we know are the source of our pain. Now, choosing not to know something does not mean it does not exist. Some people are frequently labeled as cowards or living in denial.
The majority of people who have chosen to live in denial are those who are unable to deal with things by going through them, which is due to the fact that everyone is built differently. People frequently believe that therapy is the best place to go when they are in pain, but the truth is that therapy consists primarily of talking to a complete stranger about something they do not know, cannot relate to, and have not experienced themselves.
However, I am not saying it does not work; it can work wonders for some people. The problem is that there are some things that people go through that talking about causes them more pain, and they believe that the best way to deal with it is to avoid it. This may not be the best approach; some of the things we must endure may only cause more harm, but we may not be strong enough to cope in the traditional way.
Conventionality is a way of life.
There are conventional people with conventional problems; they go through things and seek therapy because they believe it is the best way to get back on track. Therapists are among the most celebrated people in society. When you are in the hospital and can not cope, the doctor throws the word "therapy" around. It is the same for people dealing with drug withdrawal, PTSD, and a variety of other issues.
However, talking is not a magical way to solve problems; some people choose not to know things, and while this may appear unusual, it simply demonstrates the complexity of the human mind. When your life is not conventional enough, you will encounter irregular problems. It is not like going to a bar and drinking to get temporary relief; these solutions may not always work.
Some people make the mistake of using temporary indulgences to solve immediate problems. However, we frequently do not want to dwell on future problems, assuming that the ones we are currently dealing with will simply disappear. It is sacrificing the long term for the pain we are in right now; after all, tomorrow is not guaranteed, and many people would rather enjoy today's happiness than worry about tomorrow.
People who are most concerned about tomorrow are those who believe it is certain and guaranteed to them.
They believe they have dealt with the present and are now looking ahead to the future. While this is a human way of thinking, it is very different for people who are going through something. To them, the only thing that matters is getting rid of today's pain, even if it means giving up tomorrow. Some of the vicissitudes of life cannot be truly understood through therapy.
Unfortunately, there are many different ways that people choose to deal with problems; some of these methods may or may not work, and others are highly questionable and extreme.
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I personally think therapy can be helpful for some people, but it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. Sometimes talking about our deepest pains just makes things worse. Everyone copes differently. For me talking makes me feel better but my brother says he prefers to be silent about them
Well it shows your brother and you are unique, despite being born by one parents. Sometimes I like to talk, other times I think no one will understand, so I rather just go through it and be silent rather than talking because I feel it wouldn't really matter
It's sad when most don't understand the things you go through bro... That's why I believe when it comes to marriage you need to find someone that fits you well in these things
Marriage is another kettle of fish. Sometimes even your God given partner might not even know what you're going through
You're so right bro, even the one that is God given would not know exactly what's wrong, that's a solid point bro
"No one has walked in another mans shoes", we never know inner conflict no matter how close we are to the person either.
Individuals have their own cope mechanism, each will deal with it in variety of ways.
!BEER
You're right, coping mechanism can vary from people to people. It's funny that therapy is often seen as the way that seem to work the miracles.
Some do find help going to therapy, talking it out with a qualified stranger, it really is up to each how life is handled. If religious, a pastor, minister normally will administer advice for free in many cases depending on their qualification.
Well, sometimes it does work with strangers that have experience. For me it hasn't worked and no one truly understands
Similar is happening with my son, after three years still battling.
My suggestion to him is to write a diary, one side thoughts, other side of page possible solutions. Sometimes writing it down in an old school book helps, it's personal. This way able to try sort through feelings, pains, timing of anxiety, possibly what triggers it off, being more aware it is private you reply to yourself how to try tackle them one by one.
PS: My son is most probably similar age to you as well.
I hope everything gets better for your soon. Between, I'm 31.
My son is 11 years older, it has been a nightmare, testing for everything....
44, oh wow. Goodluck to you and my well wishes. No a lot of people understands and sometimes it feels unfair. I'm holding on to God for mine
Sons are 42 and 40 respectively, older suffers daily, it does feel unfair when you never able to reach a conclusion as to why.
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Some people do really well with therapists and I think it's great! I'm not one of them because it never seemed to help me, I mostly found them to approach things badly, but that may just be me. Therapy for PTSD just honestly doesn't work all that well for me anyway, oh well!
How are you doing today? I hope it's one of your better days!
I've never seen one. Of the the doctors I was seeing felt that would be the best for me. I was really angry at th suggestion because my concerns and fears were legit. I just feel people who don't understand you no matter how seasoned they aren't in therapy will never help anyone.
Well. I don't even know if I have better days these days. I just trust God to take care of things
Sometimes that's all you can do... It's hard to understand someone's situation unless you are facing it too like I am. I hear you!
Thank you 🙏
I won’t say that going to the therapist does not work but you know, it is about talking to a stranger who has no idea of what you have been through. Also, if we follow the advice of some therapist, you do you it may fail? That’s because they don’t know what’s up with us and you can never give an advice to someone based on something you have not experienced
To me I don't truly believe in therapy. I don't think another person is capable enough of helping others deal with things they can otherwise not be able to deal with. We're differently unique
The truth is that therapy do help some people because the person they met could understand. There are people who can truly feel your pain and go beyond their pay to help you heal. That's just it.
But, the thing is that we are built differently and therefore heal differently. Sometimes, what worked for A would not even have an impact on B. The best thing to do is to just find a way that is suitable for you. To me, listening to music, going to the beach, crying alone, and reminding myself of how far I have come in life may work. To another, it may be cooking, and the list goes on.
Also, when it comes to people in the army, especially those who have gone to war, it is not easy. Those people have done things and seen things, and it is so sad they have to go through constant nightmares.
You're right, what works for some might not work for others. This is why diversity is man's biggest thing. Because of how diverse and unique we are, we can never truly understand what another person is going through, although we can try.
You have a way of doing your thing, it probably snows that therapy might not also be your way. I've talked to a lot of people in the past, and I didn't find conviction, it's why I came to to conclusion that the true healing and acceptance I might find can only be made possible by God.
This soldier man talked about his struggles and it felt so unique to him, his pain was so different.
Yeah, we can try, but we can't fully feel it.
That's just it sha. Happy weekend.
There are a lot of problems and various different ways to solve them. I think it really depends on the situation and I agree that head-on might work for some but not others. However, I do think that the first thing is to admit the problem first. Then you can work out a solution.
Well different strokes for different folks, I guess this saying is still valid till today..
For me, it's never worked. I think I just like to be in denial long enough to come to terms with reality.
I once had a case where my parents took me to therapist, that wasn't the solution. I worked myself out. From that day I learned that I myself can be a solution toy problems, no need for third parties all the time.