The Placebo Effect...
When I was in school I used to have a friend whose boyfriend was and is still into fraud. We were very close (that lady, her boyfriend and I) before he started it (fraud), and in a short while he made it big. Made some real money. The guy was always coaxing me to join and make money for myself too. It was during a time when I needed money to take care of my school bills. It was one hell of a crazy bear market in 2019.
However, that wasn't who I was. I was comfortable with being able to manage what I had and this helped me accept the limit of my affordability and established a mental equilibrium between what I could get (financially) and what I couldn't. Apparently, he was a really good friend better than even people I thought were my friends, but the nature of his livelihood created a rift among us. He was always after money, he wanted to always make more of it, and even if I felt he had more and was comfortable, he still couldn't quit.
He and his girlfriend and now married, they're expecting a baby, and they have a union and healthy life, most of the things I could give everything to have (except the illegal money) but yet, this guy was still after more money. While it'll be easier to judge him, I've come to understand that one's biggest nightmare is what they fight not to overshadow them throughout their lives. He had seen some mind-bending level of poverty, he struggled through school and worse torn clothes.
He now drives a Lexus but yet poverty still scares him. I could basically see a similarity here. In my situation my health has made me paranoid and even if I should probably let the worry of my health go for the sake of my mental health. I've lost all my immediate nuclear family, and the pain of being in that "lonely place" has made me lose myself. Of course, for an outside, this doesn't seem like a huge deal. For this guy, the fear of poverty keeps plunging him into fraud, drugs, alcohol, and more risks. He may have drawn a line that he didn't think he could cross, but then I feel that the fear of poverty which is inbuilt could alter this.
Having that much money for him brings a sense of assurance. It was like having money to spend today and having more to spend the next day. Not having that creates fear. It's like a placebo effect. The truth is that we always underestimate the essence of life's diverse placebo effect. Sometimes having the assurance that something brings even if it doesn't show any significant impact helps the mind to keep going.
It's like having money in the bank, while you cannot physically access, the money, the thought that you can do any transactions at your beck and call is enough to still assure you that you have money. It's just like many do. They make plans for their investment and make plans for tomorrow without really knowing the parameters that need to be in place to make their plans work. However, things like good health and a sound mind create a placebo effect or a greater certainty.
When in reality things like an accident, a venereal disease or an ailment can happen even when the chances are still low. In life, people thrive with the believability that they're good to go, especially when their vitals are good; psychological, mental, health, and otherwise. It's different when you're coming from a place where you do not what to return to.
Basically, I do not care for most of the things I used to, and this is because the idea or belief of certainty is no longer there, the things that make them matter are no longer there. While people work to enrich themselves, but in reality most of the things they're trying to enrich aren't even what matters most in life. But we don't know these.
For this guy in question, I still keep close contact. He was suggesting to financially assist me, but then, I didn't want to push that button. He struggles with his demons and even if anyone on the outside will call him a monster for being a fraudster. I know his demons, I've faced them, and he owns his life.
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Seems that while he might have the creature comforts of life, he lacks inner peace. Maybe despite the nature of fraud and his success with it, the most understated consequence might be never feeling true peace, constant worry the authorities will catch up to you.
Well, I don't think he's afraid of the cops. When one's been in poverty, the mental torture is incomparable.
This reminds me of last year when I used to go to the hospital often and all I could think of was my health if I saw someone who could exchange sound health for half of everything I have I would do it without a second thought.
Sometimes we only think about poverty as if it is the most important thing to fight but we have so many things that are also important.
I don't have a lot in life, but I still manage well for myself. Well a lot of people underestimate good health good, simply because they have it freely and they abuse it as well. Currently, I go give anything to have even 50% sound health without having to look behind my back, but unfortunately we can't exchange things we don't have for things we think we own. (It's futility) Life doesn't allow this form of transactionality. But, I have hope.
Although I have read your journey and struggle throughout this period, I still can't imagine how tough it must have been for you to go through all of that because it is only one who wears the shoes that knows where it pinches.
It's really great that you were able to resist the temptation of fraud and stick to your principles. I'm sorry again and again about your health, the loss of your family, and how hard it is to deal with everything.
It is also nice that you have a deep understanding of your friend's situation and the challenges he's facing, even if you may not agree with his choices. I hope that both you and your friend are able to find the peace and stability you seek, despite all of this.
True, I didn't and still do not agree with his choices and wish someday he'll choose a different path, but I understand where he's coming from, so I'm not qualified to judge him because even the scriptures gave me no such power, but he was one of the best people I've known in life.
As for me, thank you. For your kind words, thank you too. Well I'll keep documenting my journey, it gives me closure and allow me the opportunity to dedicate my time.
There are so many people like that guy. I won’t judge him but I can’t just engage into fraud. It has never been my thing
There’s actually joy in knowing that you’ve got some amount of money that can serve you for so many years
Money is good and won’t be able to do just a few things but can do a lot too
Riches seem less important when you realize life is finite and your time isn't guaranteed like you used to believe. I know the feeling my friend. How are you doing?
Yeah, the truth is that when everything looks or seems okay, we totally believe or feels this invincibility that perhaps life lasts forever.
I'm just in my corner, trying not to let my mind hover too much. That abyss sucks you in.
A good name is better than bad name.
@tipu curate
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Thanks, truly appreciate
Everyone has their own struggles and I honestly think that having more money is always nice so long as it doesn't negatively affect you. Not having to worry about money is a great thing as it removes one variable from your life but I am not sure if I would like it earned by being a fraud.
I wouldn't like it to be earned by fraud as well, but some people, they just want to earn it no matter what. To them, the end justifies the means.
This is quite relatable. When we're out of the woods, we still carry the memories that we experience while in it and this have a way of expanding into other areas of life or shaping part of our identity. I think without facing these demons, they may keep subconsciously influencing what we do without us having much sway over it.
It is exactly the same today every human being is trying to disturb other human being so that he can live a good life by fraud but in this way they are also looking at us. A lot of trouble is faced by a person who commits fraud.
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