Surviving Unsurvivable Ordeals.
My aunt came over today, and she found me cooking. Of course, I had to cook; it was either that or starvation, and I had to wash and clean, even though I knew I should be resting and recovering from my illness.
I was always self-sufficient, even when I was in my worst state.
I recall one day in college when I had to prepare for an exam, but I was so feverish that I could not see well. I also had to cook to eat and take my medications; it was either that or go hungry, or refuse to read due to my illness and fail the exam scheduled for the next day.
I knew harshness in a cruel way, but life goes on, and no one cares. So she (aunt) asked about a friend of mine, how we had not spoken in over 14 months, and how I would have needed him right now. I told her it did not matter that he could be dealing with his own demons.
Even though I knew it was not true. I saw the person's WhatsApp update, and he appeared to be doing well. However, this is not me. I could see you driving a Ferrari and still suspect you are in debt or living a lie. I do not believe that having a good life equates to having an easy life. I think for the sake of my mental health and to avoid falling into an entitlement mentality.
I find it difficult to tell others about the extent of my misfortunes. I would rather tell them, "Oh, I just had a new baby, I just turned 31, and I just bought a car." It is simpler than saying, "Did you know my only sibling recently died?" Or "Do you know I have been battling health complications?"
Perhaps if they asked, this would be different. Nobody wants you to bore them with your sad stories, and I believe that is why people avoid sad people.
Sadness can be difficult to handle.
People prefer happier states, and most of the time, if I do not have anything fun to say or good news to share, I really can't. However, I have a few people who want to know about the sad things that are happening to me. They ask, and I respond. However, sometimes I feel guilty for burdening them with my problems, but they are more interested in how I can get out of my sad state, despite everything.
I have a good cousin, but his immediate family has betrayed him, and he is hurt. For my part, I believe he is entitled to be hurt, but that entitlement will only make him angry for a long time.
To deal with true pain, you must have the inner strength to overcome it.
Most people who are in pain are angry all the time, but once you stop being angry, you will be able to accept, deal with, and heal. Not from your pain, but from your anger over the mental anguish of being in that state.
It is like a poor person being angry because he was not helped by a wealthy person. If you do not heal from the pain of not being helped, you will not realize that self-sufficiency is a viable option. You must accept life's harshest realities and make personal excuses for why things are as they are, even if they appear unfair and bad. Cut people some slack. Try to imagine that people are fighting poverty, even if you see them living in large mansions.
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I understand completely... Inner pain often stays there because no one out there really wants to hear it or to be honest often just don't care. We put up a front of positivity rather than share the harsh truth. Life is just plain rough, it always has been and always will be. How are you holding up?
Well I really got really worse, the fever took over 2 days ago. I wasn't active on Wednesday because I was really so sick and thought of throwing in the towel and seeking other medical care, but I felt a bit better yesterday, and had to just continue taking my in-home medications. How about you?
Hanging in, one of those sore muscle days again but it could be worse... I'm glad you're on the mend anyway. It sounds like something really nasty that you caught.
Yeah I think it was food poisoning and then the diarrhea came and then the fever and all and this is really bad for remission. It was really bad though. I guess all we hope and always pray for are easier days.
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Most people who are in pain are angry all the timewhile some levels of pain made some go quiet and distance...
you are right that everyone has a demon to fight, not all people who smile are happy and there are people you think are living good lives which is just a disguise because they are going through worse but they choose not to let others see that part of them, cos revealing it won't solve their problem anyway...
This is why I don't like it when some people get angry that someone doesn't help them because they think he is doing fine, what if he is in a difficulty positions than you asking for help bt he just choose to bear it alone...
take care of yourself man, life is cruel but keep fighting
I like to think it that way, just to balance my thinking and help my mental health. While I think cases can be more severe than others and I hope I can have less severe cases to deal with. I just want to think everyone has it as equally as bad because generally we just need to keep our mental sanity in check, at least that's what I think.
Thanks for your well wishes.
Somebody once told me that you can be diss-appointed, unless you previously appointed yourself a frame of mind, and what you wish did not happen how you would like it to happen, and that we are the only ones responsible for our pain and our happiness too. Probably took me more than a decade to understand this advice.
More than a decade? That's really something. I'm glad you eventually got to learn the lesson. We eventually learn differently.
Better late than never. :)
👏 Keep Up the good work on Hive ♦️ 👏
❤️ @nkemakonam89 suggested sagarkothari88 to upvote your post ❤️
@nkemakonam89 thanks a million
Uwc big Joe
Have a nice day
People who are in pain and can’t control it make it affect the people around them by being harsh and doing all sorts of things
It can be normal but controlling it is important
Also, I don’t believe too that it is easy to live a good life
Everyone has what they are dealing with even though it is not revealed to the public
Unfortunately, I do believe that until one knows true pain, they'll always think Inside their own box
I agree. Most people just want to hear that you're doing well.
They are not really interested in your suffering, how you are really feeling but that's mainly because they are suffering a lot themselves even if it's just by all the drama going on in the world around them.
Lately I have been reading a book called 'Healing and Recovery', it might interest you.
Sending a big hug!✨
Thanks for the book recommendation, but sometimes I just feel that people needs to find it in themselves to heal and externalities might really not hit it..
It's reality actually, I think it's just what it is, and knowing this just helps you understand life. It makes you seek solace in something higher, bigger. For me, that's God, knowing that man's susceptible to disappoint, hence.
Thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate.
Reality is tough and it's hard to overcome some of the pain. However, I do think that having people there to help is a very good thing. Even if you don't want to rely on that help, just knowing that they are there is a good thing.
Having people is a good thing. However it's alsoa double-edged sword as well. Sometimes people also gets tired of having you.
Definitely moving away from the entitled mentality that people should always care about and check up on us reduces a lot of the burden of expectations. Even when they seem good on the outside, many are still fighting inner battles that very few know about. But I think it's great to just find someone who can listen and relate without having any expectation of them helping you out tangibly.
Wishing you speedy recovery :)
Entailed mentality can bring it's consequences, while I think people needs to hold others accountable. For example, expecting others to be good when you've been good to them is not a sin, but sometimes they might do the opposite and it might hurt. However, humans are humans and change is constant.
Thanks for the kind words
Right, humans can be dynamic, efforts are not reciprocated when expected but it may come in another shape or form at another time.
You're most welcome!
Greetings @josediccus ,
Sorry to hear you have been feeling poorly...hopefully you are a bit better.
Perseverance is what I am hearing from you, pays well.
It so true..everyone has their own burden to bear...whether we can see it or not. With Satan as the ruler of this world, Ephesians 6...there is no perfect life and if there was ...would mankind ever look up ..would queries ever come to mind...such as is there something better, is there a God. what is His plan for me...etc.
Just maybe...through your dialogue with others that you are bringing those queries to people's minds....I wonder...perhaps so.
Kindest Regards,
Bleujay
Self-sufficiency can be great, but sometimes it would be even better if one had a little help in their really bad moments, as you were going through.