Insufficiency: The Experience
In 2018/19 I had this guy who was very integral to some of the skills I was able to learn. I was able to push beyond some of my limits to truly garner some set skills. Maybe I had the capacity, but if I hadn't pushed, I might have probably allowed my limitations to create a state of underwhelming incapability. You know when the mind is unable to envisage further than it can because of some psychological parameters.
Long story short, I won in so many things I attempted because someone felt I could. However life happened, this person struggled a lot with life, marriage, and immigration and a lot happened. I think he lost a lot financially, and he wasn't able to keep up with a lot of things. Basically, his financial status got so bad, and it affected his ability to be the person he was.
Personally, I'd never been in that position, so I couldn't relate to what was happening, I tried my best to find out what was happening and how to help, but truly, my inexperience made it difficult to understand what he was going through and this limited my ability to know the area to truly reach him. Inexperience is not always a bad thing. A person who hasn't experienced marital crises, divorce, inexplicable gradual of loss income, decline in stability of emotion and maybe deteriorating health might not really know how lucky they are.
However, experience is what teaches relatability.
This is why a lot of people find themselves alone in their own mess. Life can get so messy and even explaining it in detail or telling it might not truly cover the whole story. Lack of experience is bliss since it can truly educate a person, the pain that comes with it is not worth it.
Fast-forward to today, I have experienced some of the pain that this man went through and this is how I began to understand that when life happens it messes up your mind and completely changes who you are.
My friend went to a complete change and he deteriorated in his personality so much that I could barely recognize who he was again. However, the fact that I couldn't relate made it difficult to truly help. Understanding the unique individual problems of other people takes a lot. Sometimes we might never be equipped enough, sometimes we're just too busy with handling our lives that we just forget others, especially people who we deem to be our friends.
Again, it's life, we're only embracing our instinct: survive first.
Life is a marathon, we're naturally built to run our races and get to the finishing line before we begin to think of the races of others. Sometimes because life is a marathon, we might never find a way to even pause in our different races to lend a hand to others, this singular act is instinctive. The knowledge of some people is limited by the things they've seen in life, this is why we mostly find the experience of others to be bizarre, they're totally unrelated, strange and pitiable, hence we can only show pity in place of empathy.
Nobody has complete control of their lives, most of the time we're not responsible for the good or bad things that happen to us. However, our natural state of balance gives us the illusion that our lives are very good or in some situations, bad. One's natural state of balance might indeed tell a lot about their life, but the truth is that life changes suddenly and sometimes it's difficult to accept a new reality, especially if it's an unfavorable one. Nevertheless, when life shows us insufficiency, this is when we begin to manage our resources and time and begin to give it to those that matter.
Insufficiency creates a new sense of understanding
....this is when you begin to truly see. However, insufficiency is a place of pain. This is when you begin to understand that you're not infallible in whatever ramifications. When we're insufficient in any aspect of life, it tells our social and psychological wellbeing and the most difficult part is that your life begins to change.
No one is ever prepared for negative change, it's an experience that teaches you the harsh part of life. Inasmuch as no one wants it, sometimes they just happen and we're completely powerless to stop the decline that might follow.
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Negative changes in life are difficult to accept but they can also be opportunities to grow and better understand others, it is difficult to help people, sometimes they are the ones who do not allow help to arrive and that is something we must
Yeah, well overtime, we train ourselves to deal with negative changes, especially if we're too powerless to actually make a difference or cause a change
Every bad thing that we face in life points to one thing and that is our human nature. When things happen it's easier to live in denial or blame other people,or even blame ourselves.
People are going through a lot in life and sometimes those we think that are too busy to check up on us are actually fighting their own battles too.
Exactly, this is where I pointed this out. It's a natural human phenomena, its mostly the reasons we give to make the instant justification.
There are both good and bad times in life, so it is best that we all help others in our good times, the better it will be for our future life. If one should always think positively in life then life becomes easier.
True indeed
Accepting a new reality especially when it is not pleasant isn't easy but we must develop the courage to face what life throws at us. I understand what that guy in your story faced and how you can relate to what he passed through because you have tasted some of it. No one can exactly understand what others pass through without experiencing it first hand. Life hasn't been fair with a lot of people as well making it so possible not to keep in check with others as supposed. I hope we all find comfort with our diverse experiences
Exactly, the diversity of experiences makes understanding a very difficult thing. One thing is that everyone gets to experience things they cannot initially understand, just like I did, at some point. Time is the difference in the experience we have or don't have.
Negative changes are just a part of life. We can't predict everything and I agree that it's hard to help people sometimes. I hope you and your friend are able to get over it and help other people down the road.
True, they're part of life, however, sometimes they become too much and too much of bad events creates unfair circumstances.
This is what makes it very hard if not impossible to explain our stories to people in the hopes that they can resonate with it. I think one first need to have the right context which in most cases can only happen if both have similar experiences. Insufficiency gives us a good dose of reality that we're humans and have our limitations that we need to acknowledge. I think on a broader view it contributes to our individual maturity through the experiences and the lessons learnt.
Well for me, I've stopped explaining. It really won't do any good to continue. I've heard people saying "make sure to talk to others" however, most of the times you just end up talking to people who have no idea what you're trying to say.