How many good people has life blessed you with?
Around last year, as I was coming to terms with my diagnoses, an old friend from one of the neighborhoods where I grew up came to check on me. He did not come specifically to check on me, but he had heard that my brother had died. We have only been catching up via Whatsapp, which is how far we have gotten to know ourselves.
I only know how well he was doing from what he posted on social media, and to be honest, that is how a lot of people who are supposed to be friends are. People have posted about the restaurants they eat at, the most recent update on their dogs, their graduation, the car they recently purchased, and other things to demonstrate how well they are doing.
People enjoy posting about how well they are doing; it is a sociocultural norm associated with social media. 80% of the people I know in real life adhere to these trends. So, if you are someone who mostly talks or posts pictures about almost half of their lives, you may be duped into predicting people's lives based on what they say on social media.
However, after my brother's death, I had the opportunity to speak with this guy and learn a lot about him. He was not a complete life poster; he mostly did funny memes and such, but we talked about our lives and I told him my own story.
We used to party together, and he smoked as well, but after many years I realized we had both undergone significant life changes; the other difference was that he had family members, whereas I had lost all of mine in the span of 12 years. He could not believe I was going through all of this and still not telling anyone. 95% of the people I was close to did not know much about me.
It was not because I was not good at sharing; I simply had not accepted everything I was going through. Sometimes you have to experience acceptance before you can share; I have not quite reached that level of acceptance, so I could not really share.
It can be stressful to persuade others to see things your way.
People do not know what they do not know, and sometimes it is best to leave them guessing. I understand that we need the help of others in life; sharing something with another person may result in an unexpected display of empathy from them, but if we never try, we will never know.
However, when I told this guy about my situation, he prayed for me and wished me well, and then he began sending me money for my medical bills, which was not much, but it was hard-earned money given to me. The fact that it was hard earned made me appreciate it, and the fact that he was struggling financially to pay his own bills made the gift even more valuable to me.
At first, it made no sense to me. If I had not been paying hospital bills, I would have been financially better off than he was, and I have spent a lot of money on medical bills over time. This has left me with no plans to start a business or even have one that can generate monthly income for me. Everything has gone into medical expenses, and he may have considered this as well. I do not know; I am guessing.
Perhaps he was simply sympathetic to my situation, or it was something else entirely, but it was something no one had done for me in a long time.
I remember explaining some of the cardiac and renal issues to him, and he found it overwhelming. I could not even explain to him that it was a chronic condition caused by complications, but I am sure he understands in his own way.
People with medical bills are inevitably becoming poorer by the day, and he probably considered this. Most people who pay medical bills are becoming poorer by the day; it may take years for them to go bankrupt, but they will do so sooner than someone who is a spendthrift or lives financially irresponsibly.
This guy showed up at my house a few days ago after I called him and told him about some unexpected good news for me and my family, and when he arrived, he transferred money to my account number. The funny thing was that he spent more than an hour telling me about his financial problems and how difficult college has been for him.
Although I had not told him that I wanted us to start a joint business (I was secretly planning it for when there would be a bull run), I could not help him in my current situation unless a miracle happened. So it surprised me that he left and continued to send money to my bank account. Again, it was not a lot of money, but it was the fourth time he would done it.
I would have returned his money to him, but that would have most likely been an insult. It is more comfortable when someone who is financially secure gives you money, but it feels bad when a struggling person gives you money, but I suppose life works differently.
One, More Than Many
Apparently, I am not used to thanking people; it feels strange because I have not done it often, but I have found myself thanking this guy for all of his thoughts, empathy, and love. It makes me feel indebted, and even though I shouldn't, I believe I am.
I believe we should feel grateful to those who have given up what is most important to them to assist you. There are not many people like that in life, and being in debt and holding yourself accountable will make you feel compelled to be a good person.
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A friend in deed is a blessing because of their companionship and support.
Being on this platform and great deeds of mine are product of good friends.
How is your health, hope you are improving by the day. Just know that your content and very existence is a source of energy to us all. You are a good friend indeed
Yes, a good person for a friend is indeed a blessing in our very lives.
Yes, I've met a lot of great people on Hive that's been a blessing to me as well.
Thanks for all the kind words
My life is a bunch of testimonies about people who have gone out of their own will to help me, and i feel indebted to them, when the time is right i will repay them beyond measures.....thats one reason why i value relationships especially valueable ones.....
Sometimes they are all the hope we need to hang on, that alone is healing, do take good care of you pls.
It's not a bad thing to feel indebted to them, I think this makes you remember that at one point in time you will one way or the other be a better person to someone else, even if not to them.
Meanwhile I left you a message on discord
Thankyou so very much, so sorry about that pls...
This one is indeed a rear friend and deserves to be thank. Wishing you nothing but Gods strength and comfort through all this. You will pull through stronger and victorious at the end of it all.
Indeed, thank you
I get that completely, and I don't like being indebted to people either or overwhelm them withy my problems. I guess I learned to shut up and keep your problems to yourself in my military years, that and I never really liked sharing thing anyway. It's just not who I am.
I do have a few good friends but not many. And to be honest since I began with my health problems I began to isolate myself. Probably not a healthy thing but I got sick of hearing, "Oh I'm sorry to hear that", just platitudes without any real feeling or comprehension on their part.
Maybe that business will materialize with the bull run, and I'm hoping it comes sooner than later. How are you feeling these days
Well, I completely relate. I don't really like sharing much, it leaves people more confused than they started, plus I was already used to dealing with my stuffs, but I was happy to talk to someone.
Like you, I also have a few friends, and somehow I'm happy I'm rid of all the population and save for just a few.
We never really know how much lonely life can be until you begin to deal with things that no one understands.
Ha ha I get the regular "oh I'm sorry" but we all know it's just for the sake of courtesy.
I hope so too, I think it would be a dream come true and it would be something that finally gives me a little stability
Life always takes a turn at some point in our lives, and having friends whom you could share those memories with is a blessing.
I personally don't like making friends, because I think they just want to pry in your personal life, so I pick my friends and try my best not to open up about certain things.
I've been through a lot in life, so it's only normal for me to pour out my heart to someone I think understands and gets me. The hurtful part is how they go talking about it to other people. So most times I tend to keep my mouth shut and mind my business.
That's so thoughtful of your friend, may God bless him!
And you don't have to feel indebted to him in anyway. He cares for you and that's all that matters. All you have to do is just show that you appreciate his efforts by checking up on him randomly and just give back thesame energy.
Well, I like to feel indebted because it's easy to be an unintentional ungrateful person, so I like to hold myself accountable. People realize they lose people when things aren't going well.
At this point, I'm not accepting anything into my life. I'm managing the ones I have and letting go of the ones around me.
A man with too many people often thinks he has a lot of friends, until something happens.
There's nothing wrong with not having a lot of people, if I had gotten used to it, it could have been better for me..
Very well said, I totally agree with you.
Reading this just tells me I'm okay not wanting to mingle with people .
There will always be good people out there, and I think you should treasure them. Although you can't do much for him now, I think you should try to help him out in the future if he needs it.
Actually, I never realized that journalists mostly write about negative events, but individuals, when they write about themselves, overwhelmingly write about positive things.
Is it possible to find something positive about one's own aging and illness? One appreciates time more and focuses on what is really important in life.
There's really nothing positive about the illness of anyone. I've posted about my illnesses just because of documentation purposes and nothing more.
Yes, people are used to talking about the good stuffs happening to them alone, while enduring sad times and telling no one about them
That's one great friend you have there, to have tossed his own needs aside, to reach out to you speaks so much of how humane he is.
We actually need more of those friends.
Well, I'm grateful, I don't really know if he helped me at the expense of his needs, but I won't really know. Nevertheless, it was a good sacrifice for me.