Excerpts From My Struggles (2 & Updated)
It's been over one month since I decided to get an apartment, but I might have underestimated the "price" I have to pay. When I talk about price, I'm simply referring to monetary and non-monetary things one would normally sacrifice to get what one wants.
One of the reasons I decided to move from where I'm currently staying is to cut down on expenses and tailor my life to some specific goals.
But I've spent so much money to achieve this aim, it kind of feels like spending more to spend less.
This is ironic. Sometimes in life, we exchange far too much to achieve even lesser, this might generally not be the intention in the first place, but this is due to being exposed to "hard luck". This simply means failure or disappointment in the face of struggle or attempt.
This happens in everyday life, sometimes we spend money, put in the effort, do the time and make the sacrifice, but luck isn't just there to bring in the reward for everything we've sacrificed.
In my situation, I've found myself spending more than everything I've bargained for. The bear market is always a time when I spend less and gather more.
In the past, this was very possible, but these days familial responsibility makes this very impossible. This sparks the need to stay very far away from them and their irrational commitments to their cause but little did I know that I'll have to sacrifice this much to get what I want.
I'm still sick and finding it difficult to snap out of it, this is because of delayed gratification.
One thing I have tried to do is that I tried to risk everything, hoping that when what I aim to achieve is gotten, I'll take a break to have the needed rest I need, but this hasn't happened.
I've eaten through my reserve fund and now I don't even know where I'll go from here. I'm broke, but this has happened because I planned not to be broke.
I tried to spend for the short term to cut off every prospective spending I'll do but then, I've ended up spending everything I have and my health is messed up big time.
This is what I get for being an overthinker. I'd like to add that being an overthinker has helped my life, in so many situations where I could have imploded, I've survived.
Being someone who's financially disciplined, I've compromised all my rules and crossed the boundaries I wasn't supposed to, I've got this from doing too much unnecessary money maths
While this has gainfully worked for me in the past, it hasn't worked for me at the moment. I've had my anemia worsen in the past three weeks and I've ignored this.
This isn't because I planned to, sometimes circumstances in life give you the option of choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. I have financially capitulated, and it's probably been the most overwhelming period of my life.
Sometimes I wish I had friends who could tell me different ways of doing it right, not as I'll follow blindly, but it'll give me a sort of inclination, a different perspective, and choice.
One of the reasons why we make mistakes is being limited in our reasoning.
The End Of The Road?
For example, we cannot be knowledgeable in all aspects of life especially when it comes to money.
No matter the knowledge we have about money, the fact that we're not omnipresent becomes difficult to see from all angles of life.
People are the eyes we have on our blind sides. This means that our exposure is limited to the knowledge we have and this is because of how limited we are in our human capacity.
Also, it's becoming difficult to have friends who don't see beyond the things they'll get before they see you.
In the meantime, I'll be looking to find ways to raise money, and pay more attention to my health, especially with my recent failures in everything I've attempted so far.
Interested in some more of my works?
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@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
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It sucks to hear that things are so bad for you, but I think you can definitely recover. It's definitely tough trying to adapt to a new place or lifestyle.
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Thanks a lot, I guess, it's a face that's overwhelming for me. I've never had to deal with something as this, so it feels unreal. Thank you so much.
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You are not alone. Countless times, I have made the same mistake. Overthink my situation, and end up making bad decisions.
But from all those decisions, I have learned something.
I am sure that your current situation will give you wisdom for your future endeavours. It's not like if you go broke, you will remain broke for the rest of your life.
You can change your situation.
Sure, it will take time. Maybe six months, or one year. Nothing major when you have your all life ahead of you.
Your situation reminds me of a blogger, whom I used to follow a lot.
Ayodeji Awoseki.
If you haven't read his blogs, read some of them. It will surely inspire you. And help you when you are dealing with a difficult situation.
I kind of feel like your life highly resonates with his life.
That was a lengthy one. Thanks for the inspiration my friend I guess we all go through these things and sometimes some people like me, choose to vent. It's been a long time.
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Whenever I am going through emotional turmoil, and I share it, through writing or talking with someone, it helps.🙂
I hope your health improves real soon brother! I can relate to your situation for sure. It is becoming harder to afford things these days, and who knows what is really around the corner. Staying as in the moment as we can is always good for me, but I sure do plan for the future too! We must look out for ourselves and each other :) we sure are in a BIG bear market right now... I guess it just means the next bull run will be even bigger! :)