on my twenty-ninth birthday, here's a "listicle" about #singleness🤸‍♀️✨

How to be Single. Since birth.

1. Your life, your pace. If you let the society decide which path to take, you will be miserable, one way or another. Do not let outside factors ruin your inside core. This is your one life. Grab your chances. Take risks. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive - it will heal you. Above all, magnify love. Love will heal you, too. Trust God's timing in your life. Everything else will come through for you.

1. Life is so much more than romantic relationships. Stop romanticizing romance as if you'd die without it. (TV, soc med, entertainment biz, the entire advertisement are to be blamed for getting us all hopeless romantics - the "ideal" men & women in films/books ARE VERY FAR FROM the real ones, actually - ergo the expectations we carry are crazily UNREAL haha)

1. You do not need an external validation to feel valid/valued - your worth/value is inherent when you're born.

1. You'll have the rest of your life to be un-single so there's no time like the present. Go make the most of it, you.

1. There is never "too late" when it comes to romantic relationships - que sera sera; whatever will be will be. After all, human standards are not the best standards to live up to.

1. It's liberating when you don't move around the stages of your life waiting on someone else's plan or time or goals.

1. Dance when your favourite jam is blasted on the radio. You know you'd love to.

1. Invest time reading books, take 'skills' classes, write if you want to, go on adventures, randomly go places your feet take you to - trust me you don't get this chance again. It's a different story when you're un-single.

1. You deserve the Ocassional karaoke nights with friends or the weekly eat-outs!

1. WAKE UP. You're in real life. There are no prince charmings. As a matter of fact as of this writing, Cinderella and the Prince are getting divorced because, AND GET THIS: the shoe did not fit - marriage-wise. (pun intended)

1. Take yourself out. You do not have to be afraid of dining/eating alone - you work hard to afford decent meals so why not.

1. No rush! I've been told this a gazillion times and it just made sense now haha. Beautiful things take time.

1. You are allowed to cry. You don't have to get it all together in this life.

1. When people tell you, "you're too picky", just nod and be done with it. You do not have to waste your energy explaining yourself to other people. People hear what they want to hear regardless. So why bother.

1. Learn to embrace your flaws as much as you love the best parts of you. After all, you've got ALL the time in world, eh?

1. BUT do not be afraid to choose to love, even when there are no guarantees. Life's a gamble like that.

1. Your parents want the best for you, even when you feel like it's the complete opposite. So listen to them, and honour them no matter what.

1. Be in the "spectacular now" moment - be present! Sometime life is too fast and when you crave so much for the future you MISS OUT on the bliss of the present!!

1. Eff the society's standards. You're the one living your life so you are not obliged to make "the people's" standards (aka expectations) your own.

1. You owe no one an explanation of your choices (except - your family/friends who actually matter in your life. Everything else? Just noise.)

1. Settle when you are ready, and not because you feel "obliged" or "pressured". You have got one life - do not waste it on wrong decisions with wrong motives, wrong intentions, wrong timing.

1. Do not compare yourself to other people - the "comparison trap" will only magnify what you do not have such that you lose sight of the blessings you have. Comparison is slow poison - do not give it the upper hand in your life.

1. Make time for your family - your parents are getting old and your siblings need some "sib love" whether they tell you or not.

1. Whilst you've got the time, spend it with friends closest to you - as you mature your friendships would change a lot (people move out, or get married, or raise babies) so it's important to cherish moments when you're all single still.

1. At the end of the day, you're the human you've got. You. Being single gives you the luxury of time to get to know yourself better - a journey to strengthening your character. (At the end of your life on Earth, all you've got is yourself, really. Now is the best time to get to know more of the core of who you really are - and then accept that.)

1. When you realize that you are the protagonist of your story, you'd pen it differently. The sacred season of being single gives you a whole lot of perspective on what matters most in life (after all your brain does not have the "love fog" most people refer to haha).

1. Do not look for your life's meaning on a face, a character - a someone. A somebody. And remember: God's got you. All-ways.

1. You are born whole, thus you're already whole, not a one-half waking in this Earth. (It's so hard to believe this especially when growing up we were told that another person completes us. Tsk.) When someone comes to the picture he does not complete you - he complements you (hopefully).

1. Wait. Stop looking for romantic love as it might miss you. Stay where you are and allow the Universe to conspire for you. (Easier said that done, right? Right. Thought so.)

Let me end with this quote which has become a mantra for me:

"If it is right, it happens— The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

-John Steinbeck"

NOTHING GOOD GETS AWAY, kiddos, nothing good gets away. (Whatever is meant for you will never miss you and what missed you was never meant for you.)

xoxo,

your single gal from this side of the planet 🪐

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