When do you draw the line on being financially manipulated by family?
Family is dear to us at least for those of us that seas it that way, this makes us go the extra mile in rendering assistance where possible for our loved ones which most of us will do over and over again. Personally I can't stand my family surfer when I can do something to help.
The other day I was so desperate to help my sister that's been evited for failing to pay rent, she's a widow with three kids back in Nigeria. I do render financial assistance every now and then but if I could plug one of her sons onto Hive it will go a long way in helping them here and there, I was so desperate I had to ask josediccus to please assist in onboarding my nephew onto Hive.
Subconsciously I knew my nephew is not going to start earning money for their immediate needs right away but my reaction was contrary, I felt like he can get on Hive put in the effort and earn fairly okay week in week out. Basically I was desperate to help to put it simple, more so because they are family.
In this case I am not being manipulated by my sister, she is not extorting from me because of my love for her. We all know we are very vulnerable to the ones we love.
I had a friend I felt was too kind to sometimes say no to family. Working as at KFC back then and not earning much, her elder sister unemployed asked her to open a clothing Edgars account for her, my friend went ahead doing that for her beloved sister. I was against it at the time but you can't come between family so I didn't object further.
Several occasions my friend had to pay the monthly installment when the sister fails to, eventually she was blacklisted for debt. Unfair isn't it?
There is a great feeling to helping family members even friends and strangers but when do you draw the line especially if you are known to be the kind and eager to help type because helping out tends to be putting ourselves at risks at times.
In the case of my sister, someone might say why not help her out with my Hive funds, that is putting my financial future at risk, so I'd rather show her kids to do what am doing that might earn them some money. I wouldn't be creating an account for my sister either to buy clothes on credit in my name.
There should be that point when it has to be a NO otherwise, the repercussion of going that extra mile financially for family wouldn't be friendly to deal with.
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When you never get anything in return. It doesn't always have to be a financial transfer, but they should give back in some way. Also, if they are stealing, that's an instant no for me (even if they are family).
Being able to reciprocate is something some lack, some will rather be the parasite and keep receiving without giving anything back.
I agree with you,
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While feeding them to some extent for the immediate needs, teach them how to fish to be independent
That helps in reducing the dependency load, this is true. Teaching them how to fish instead of feeding with fish daily.
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Sincerely, I doubted it if your nephew could have been able to put in all that hours and all that effort. Reason is that he was in need, his mindset will be adjusted to making money istantaneously.
Well, I find it hard to say no to family, this was the main reasons why I decided to rent my own house.
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Lol last time I checked with him his still struggling to create account. You have a point though, they are in a situation of needing money instantly, for us Hive we have to build first.
Saying no to family is tough for some of us and in some cases the dependency gets too much.
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I be this is true but I always prefer showing them how to make money because it might get frustrating at a certain point
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Lol that frustration side is where it shouldn't get to when helping out family. Then it becomes unpleasant, rather have them setup if possible is always a better way.
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Yes, the lord will help you
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It is hard to say no to family, especially under the circumstances that you have stated. It is a tight spot joetunex.
Your intention to let them know about Hive is remarkable, if their mindset will be focused on how to earn and build a network here, it will be a steep process for sure, but it will pay off in the future for your nephew.
As for me, little by little I will remove myself from the background and will only intervene if it is a life and death situation in the future. We love to help, but if they are not going to help themselves, our efforts will be rubbish. If you see they are striving and need some push then boost and push them to be better.
That is all for me - have a fantastic day and see you around!
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Well said tpkidkai it is no doubt a difficult situation, I hope my nephew comes round and is able to put in the effort for future benefits not many like to endure the long building process.
I like your approach of pulling out slowly in family matters and assisting where necessary, that way everyone will strive to be responsible for themselves instead of being dependent.
Cheers and thanks for coming around.
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I did such before hence I can relate Joe, by slowly pulling out you are preparing them in a way for them to know that "hey I am now gearing into other stuff might as well try an alternative" rather than abruptly withdrawing everything.
I did both btw, and when I did the big-time withdrawal of help in one go it felt for them that they are being abandoned and left with bad blood. But small changes that build overtime work are not noticing it at all. Same with hobbies.
Hopefully, Hive will work for them as a user here we have seen wonders and help from this blockchain not only financially but as a person in general.
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This is quite relatable, and for the friend I mentioned in the post, there were times when she asked if I can help pay the installment which I didn't help, I wanted her to learn and today whenever debt is related she always thank me for always warning her against debt.
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I have learnt over the years to help family and friends without expectation especially when it comes to money. Rule is give them money don't borrow friends or family members money. It's very considerate of you to think of plugging him on Hive .
You made a point of giving them money instead of borrowing them money, I can relate with that and I think it's better giving/helping than borrowing because chances are you will never get the money back.
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I don't really think it makes that much sense to take out debt for a family member, but loaning them some money is fine. At some point, the other person has to be responsible because money can definitely destroy relationships.
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Each have to be financially responsible when, money is involved relationships can get ruined quickly.
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