Why I called her stupid: a case of financial mismanagement
I do not abuse people even the little angels. But, I was compelled to call this young adult 'stupid'. Probably you could be the judge of my reaction after a brief narrative. Permit me to give her an incognito name, Joy. The summary is that I have helped Joy out of financial messes which ranged from urgent travel to see her sick mom, rent, feeding and transportation, and a few others. A good number of them were given to her on credit. She is an adult and has a paying job. I offered her to come on Hive to make a few impacts and earn rewards but she declined with the excuse that writing was not her thing. Her loans went high and out of empathy, I went against my loan limits and supported her, especially since she was as a child from a single parent.
She had remained significantly consistent with her monthly loan remittance up until May when the excuses were getting much and also, the nation was impoverished. So, she has a total outstanding of ₦97, 000 which she has not paid. Mind you, borrowers do not take loans from a single source. They probably seek out several means to exhaust their loan options, sometimes referring to online loan apps or sharks as some people refer to them. And yes, I did not request the outstanding loan with the hope that she would settle her emergencies and resume payment. It was only recently she confessed to me that her monthly pay was ₦70, 000 and to me, this is fair enough. My monthly pay is just a little above that also. we all have our varying responsibilities and I would not attempt to envisage how her salary is being spent.
So, while she has always complained and lamented about the financial hardship she is currently facing (this is common to most people), she chatted me up yesterday stating that she was in a mess. When I inquired what happened, she said she gambled with the company money with her, hoping to get something out of it. The money in question was ₦30, 000 and she lost it to 2-odds (I don't know if I got it spelled correctly). I have never encouraged gambling, especially with funds belonging to another. Beyond the money being her company's fund, her mother was on admission, and as common as it is in Nigeria, many people are not covered under health insurance and often have to pay through their nose to access health care (if it would even be of quality service). I hate stressful moments and that action of hers attempted to destabilize me but I managed to stay unperturbed.
Nobody goes to gamble for the first time with such a significant amount. It must be a practice that has been done beyond once or twice with little fewer amounts and maybe a few wins may have encouraged them to put in more resources and effort. Also, hardly anybody walks into a gambling environment, there is usually someone who encourages the individual. There is often a false hope of gamblers. They believe they are a step away from winning and would keep on putting in more finances, sometimes even selling off assets. I know some gamblers are rich but, the wealth of gamblers is like a wave, uncertain when and in which direction it would blow.
Rather than conclude on her stupidity, I believe financial management has been an issue with her. I am not yet financially independent and I am seriously working towards this despite the tight and difficult schedules. I had to tell that, "You don't add more burdens when you are trying to relieve YOURSELF OF BURDENS" She was already burdened financially and this had begun affecting her health even at her age, shooting up her blood pressure. The least she could do was "NOTHING" Doing nothing sometimes is something. She blamed her action on desperation but that is not how I look at it. Two wrongs never make a right.
How many graduates in Nigeria earn ₦70, 000 as a monthly pay? Quite a few and even the government workers are just a bit better than such amount, if not worse. And even though I am not very close to her, I have not seen her flaunt wealth in excess or go into maximalist spending. I believe she can be more intentional with her earnings and possibly have extra income even from content creation like Hive.
Yet, I willingly agreed to take her on a few therapy sessions which has been inconsistent especially because of my busy schedule. One of my questions to her was to tell me what values she retrospectively or prospectively has and all she said was NOTHING. So, we see the problem goes beyond financial management but even has to do with value RE ORIENTATION. Hopefully, if I can work on her beliefs, values and orientation to help her out of the mess especially as a long term and though my session is free and unprofessional, but if I am not able to, I may recommend her to a specialist (if she can afford it because of her financial state).
The world remains unbalanced and resources are unlimited. Perhaps this is the spice of the world and humanity where people have to be motivated out of their comfort zones to seek greener pastures. The sad truth is that there are many out there like Joy who may be out of desperation take poorly calculated risks. Unfortunately, everyone cannot be helped but those closest to us can be guided while we all work towards financial independence.
screenshot images are mine
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