Surviving the grip of an unhealthy relationship

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Toxic relationships most often begin with sweet and pleasurable experiences that eventually get damaged along the way. Some relationships, however, undeniably begin and end with toxicity. Human beings are created special, and no two individuals are the same, even when they're biologically identical. Thus, relationships are essential between two individuals, which could be siblings, friends, or lovers.For the purpose of this topic, I would stick with toxic relationships among partners in love. A very critical and fundamental mistake is that people in relationships unintentionally or intentionally skip FRIENDSHIP and jump the ladder to relationships. During this process, it's all rosy and divine. And as much as possible, I hate to advise people in love, especially when I do not have the full story from the two partners independently and as an item of love.Toxic relationships could be as simple as causing one or both partners peace of mind or as bad as affecting one's health or even life. Toxic relationships do come with warning signs (red flags) most of the time, and these are often ignored, while some believe they could change their partners when they're married.

I am unmarried, but, from the testimonies of many, it is certain that behaviors before marriage or those hidden prior to marriage are usually accentuated when the union is legalized.As for me, I was once in a toxic relationship sometime in the year 2018–2019 that caused me a lack of sleep and peace and eventually caused me to have an elevated blood pressure reading.I used to be proud of my blood pressure reading; however, barely eight months into the relationship, I became a shadow of myself. I rarely smiled or laughed, I hardly contributed to jokes or discussions, and the thin me got thinner, probably because I lacked appetite or interest in things around me. At some points, I hated to open the WhatsApp message from my partner because I was almost certain it would be a long message of nagging and complaining.My position was unfortunately restricted as both of us were in faraway Kebbi State, which was a day's journey by road from Ilorin in Kwara State.

One major thing I began to do was avoid her and keep silent about her naggings and complaints. I tried so hard to absolve all the pressure without giving significant reactions or responses. Deep within me, I knew it was hurting me and unhealthy, but my partner would not concur, as I had broken up the relationship about three times, but she came begging with a promise to adjust. I knew that I needed the distance to escape, and it would only be possible after we completed our compulsory one-year national youth service corps (NYSC) program. During that period, I became fond of taking evening walks to cool my head from the torturing thoughts I had about the toxic relationship.

Eventually, prior to the completion of nysc, she knew the forever we dreamt of at the start of our love in nysc camp was only a mirage and would terminate as the nysc came to an end.Barely a month after NYSC, we terminated the relationship, even though it was via the phone. We wished each other well in our future relationships and ended it all.

I was blocked from all her social media, and I equally did not make efforts to continue communications with her.My younger sister was very helpful in my recovery, as she would prepare drinks rich in ginger and garlic to help reduce the elevated blood pressure I had in the course of the relationship. I had learned my lessons: love is never enough to keep a relationship, and FRIENDSHIP should come before relationships. Today, I'll say I never got to use any blood pressure-lowering drugs, and my BP has remained within the normal range.

Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.