Oh, So Fickle...
There’s a thin line between love and hate. How cliché is that line? Or a better question is, how true is that line? Is it just a farce brought to life by book authors who specialize in the enemies-to-lovers trope? Is that the only time it applies? Academic or business rivals that are sworn to up each other in their endeavours and then they suddenly realize that it’s always been each other and that they become soulmates and forever lovers. Is that all real or maybe the fictional book addict in me talking?
But no, that’s not the basis of this. How do people who swear to love and cherish each other hate each other so much? How do you love and hate so deeply? How do you swear on how lucky you are to be with this person and with the same lips, call that person unprintable names? How do you compliment and in the same vein crush the spirit of the one you claim to love with your words?
I guess you would say that there wasn’t love to begin with or they never loved each other. But I’d like to believe that they did and maybe still do. But the innate personality of humans makes them forget, which makes them ungrateful, that makes them lose track of the words they utter. Love isn’t supposed to be fickle. But at the same time is it enough? So that in trying times and suspicious times and times when questions need to be asked, would the mere fact of love suffice?
I always loved the concept of love. Love between friends. Love between family members. Love between lovers. The fact that you would choose on your own accord to give and forgive, that you would choose to sacrifice, that you would be willing to submit, to show vulnerability, to be selfless, to understand and stand by the person’s side against all odds. It’s the kind of thing that I thought was simple enough so if you claimed you truly loved a person, it wouldn’t be hard to do.
But I’ve seen it fail many times. Because yes, when it truly counts, when the chips are down and you’re in between a rock and a hard place, love doesn’t suffice. It’s beautiful. It’s reliable. But it fails. In the most disappointing ways and I don’t think anything is sadder than seeing the principles and core values of life washed down because of the things you see play in the lives of others, the things you experience yourself.
I wish I could proffer something to say that would somehow soften the sting, and ease the hurt of the complexities of love when it should be somewhat simple. The disappointment that at the end of the day, a lot of us are building castles in the air and that the pure, unadulterated, incomparable feeling called love, real love, we would never experience.
But I believe, that just as the absence of some core values in our society today, love is no exemption. The reason why love fails is not because love in itself is flawed or not worth having or a scam so to speak, is because of lack of understanding. Because I do not understand what it entails to truly love, I will make mistakes, grievous ones. Ones that I won’t be able to come out of because I do not comprehend the real meaning and the pillars that make love what it is.
As one of my favourite ministers would say; Love is not a feeling, it’s a doing. So that at the end of the day....No, there’s no end of the day. Maybe I will talk about this again when I'm in a much better head space or maybe I won't. But till then....Let’s all just know to do love. The very essence of love cause it has almost nothing to do with your emotions.
Jhymi🖤
Image is mine.
Your minister is right, I think. If you don't back it up with actions, the mere declaration of affection is useless (sadly). As for the why people who love each other can come to hate each other passionately, I reckon that some are in love, rather than actual, hard, long-lasting love, so when the infatuation fades, they find they don't quite love that person or their traits. And others, I think, they just change naturally, and one thing you loved can come to grate and no longer align with who you are. But I think many people don't mean it when they say they hate their husband or their friend or whoever. I think staying in that relationship no longer works, and they hate how it's making them feel. I think a part of you always loves the people you once loved. If that makes sense :)
Very though-provoking <3
Yeah, I think you're right. A part of you would always love the people you loved but then I'm thinking of cases of abusive relationships. If you eventually escape out of it alive, what part of you would retain love for that person?
After reading this I am feeling like Love is a complicated thing 😅. In fact it was complicated for me before reading this also.
I am not expert to say anything about it but I am sure many people won't agree with the statement. I am not sharing opinion because I am no One 😅( escaped).
This line broke my heart 💔🤣🤣.
Well based on people's general perceptions, they may have varying views but I still believe that the concept of love has nothing to do with your feelings per se and more with the things you do to justify that love.
Without feeling there are no love in my opinion. I feel love terms come from feelings.
I agree with you: love is not an emotion. Love is action.
Yes it is. Thank you dear.💜
Bang on with love, the word has so many meanings in different cases.
One thing I would say the more you really love someone the more you can actually hurt that person.
Yeah, and the more susceptible to hurt you are the more you love someone.
It's silly.
Yeah I know that too well 🤣
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This is one of the best pieces I have come across. This is exceptional, Jhymi
Oh really, thank you so much. It means a lot.🤗
Love is so broad and there are so many types of love.
But I agree that loving is more than a feeling is an action as well. And love is built with small actions.
Yes it's broad. It should be simple but it's rather quite complex. Although we are on our own make it harder than it should be. Thank you, dearest Coquicoin.🤗
Since I have last story post named The Thin Line Between Love And Hate, I immediately needed to read your thoughts about this saying. I saw it on the preview and I was like, yupp let's check it out 😄
The reason Love fails... this is really strong words. I know you did not give any real reason, which is clever because we can never know. But I agree on one thing, Love is doing and making a decision. Acting is Love for me.
Just simply *feeling is not enough. I also don't like when people just sit there and wait to be loved, or claim they are in love with someone. Okay then, help your loved one? No?
We need to act according to our love. Otherwise it is just words...
Thank you for your lovely post 😁🙏🤗
You're exactly right. You can't just claim to be in love with someone yet you're doing things that completely contradicts the entire concept of what love is. But in the Same vein, just doing nothing but professing love doesn't count.
Thank you for taking the time to leave this insightful comment.🤗
Thank you for sharing 🙏🤗
Love is quite complicated and since we humans are not so perfect sometimes we tend to fail at love, but it what it is, the only thing we do is keep trying to love.
#dreemerforlife
This right here! Being intentional is something that should be imperative for everyone if meaningfulness is a priority. And it boils down to our choice of words also. I'd rather say that I want to do love with a person—emphasis on do—than only feel love for the person. It's an action word after all, and just "feeling" really isn't enough.
This is wholesome, Fangy.
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Understanding is key to love. Having that understanding that you're committed to the person you chose to love will keep you in check.
Also understanding that you can disagree to agree in your relationship is another great key.
#dreemerforlife
Love indeed is flawed and for it to last the long hall we need to have understanding.
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Thank you!!
Just the words to love is so broad that it encompasses so much.
Understanding is key when you mention the word love or show an act of love.
To love isn't for when it's all roxy, convenient and sweet. To love also means to endure and sacrifice when it is needed, I believe it's this part of love many people lose it and end up failing.
Love isn't only when there's smooth sailing, when the storms approach, are you willing to weather it all.
Yeah. That's quite a broad view. When the chips are down is when love really counts. You seem to know a lot about this subject, Hazmat....
Love is a universal language indeed!
Everyone understands it.
A nice read here.
Thank you. It's good to have you.
Don't mention it